Review: Bullet to the Head
Good day all, it’s been a while since I did a review. Well, last night I went to the opening of the new Sylvester Stallone movie, “Bullet to the Head.”
Now I had not planned on seeing this movie, but was invited to go by the Angry Brother In-Law. He had one of his many brothers and one of his many nieces up visiting him and they all decided to go to the movies. They called me and asked if I wanted to go. Free movie and dinner? Hell YES!
We all wanted to go to Chunky’s, but there really wasn’t anything good playing. Bullet to the Head was the only one that was even mildly interesting. I had read a review on Ain’t it cool news and they panned it badly. Basically, they said that taking a real bullet to the head would have been more enjoyable than sitting through this movie. I disagree….somewhat. I thought getting a kick to the groin would have been better then watching this thing. It was really bad. Still, I wasn’t paying to see it, and I will go through a lot for free stuff. (Except voting for Obama and Democrats. Even I have some standards)
This was opening day for the movie. We went to the 4pm show. Normally, you would expect the first showing to have a lot of people. If this was Batman or Star Wars, then yes, they would have been sold out. As it was, other than the 4 of us, there were 6 other people. There were so few people, that Chunky’s only assigned one waitress to handle the theater. My guess is this movie will be out of the theaters and sent to DVD a lot sooner then was planned.
The plot was a rehash of every mismatched buddy movie that has been made since the 1980’s. You have Stallone playing the old, hard bitten hit man and Sung Kang as the honest and naive police detective. As you would expect, there is also a daughter played by Sarah Shahi who isn’t a fan of Dad’s chosen field.
The story is also a rehash of every buddy film. Stallone and his partner are paid to kill someone, which they do. Then they go to a bar and Stallone’s partner is killed. Basically, it was a double cross. Kang comes to town, (This takes place in New Orleans), since the victim Stallone killed was a corrupt ex-cop from Washington.
Stallone is trying to figure out who set them up and Kang is trying to figure out who did the original job. Through “clever” movie police work, Kang and Stallone end up together. Yawn. They go from one action scene to another with periods of reflection, usually with Stallone’s tattoo artist daughter.
Bad guys go after Stallone and Kang, New Orleans cops are on the take and also go after Kang. Crime kingpin is looking for files that will send him to jail for a month, wash, rinse, repeat.
There was what passed as witty repertoire between the various actors. There were a few chuckles, and a couple of amusing moments. All in all, the movie was worth exactly what I paid for it. Nothing. It was a good way to kill a couple of hours after the long week I had in my “Real World Job.”
So, do I recommend this movie? If you haven’t figured out yet that I wasn’t thrilled with it, then please, go see it. If you have figured out I wasn’t thrilled with it, then you have your answer. Long story short, No. I do not recommend this movie. I don’t recommend it when it comes out on DVD and Pay per View. In fact, I would rather strangle cuddly bunny rabbits than sit through it again. Don’t waste you time or your money. Stay home and read a book, or watch the NHL.
~The Angry Webmaster~