This isn’t what they mean by “He’s a gold plated dick”

Good day all. I stumbled across this gem yesterday. It seems that one of Los Angeles brighter gang members thought he would celebrate his birthday and his favorite movie of all time. In the process, he managed to become the probable Darwin Award winner of 2015.

The-Good-Idea-Fairy-3

Nazario Conchuza Gonzalez, a member of the notorious MS-13 gang decided to celebrate his 17th birthday by gold plating his reproductive organ. Here are the details from Link Beef:

The young man that is originally from El Salvador and is an active member of the MS-13 crime family is believed to have attempted to gold plate his own genitals with a professional automotive gold plater stolen from a local garage after first painting his genitals with a lead-based paint, believe experts. The 17-year old man who was allegedly a fan of the 2002 American comedy movie Goldmember, which
is a loose parody of the James Bond films.

Goldfinger, had taken the Spanish nickname of “Pelotas de oro”, or golden testicles, before attempting to gold plate his own genitals to his ultimate demise.

stupid you are

Apparently, this is the new “In thing” for “Gangbangers in L.A.

Dr Ian Joseffson of the Los Angeles Community Hospital warns of a growing trend within gang members to attempt the “deadly operation”. “This is the third case this year, but we have had many occurrences in hospitals in the region these past years. It seems to be a growing trend within the gang member community”

Reagan_toasting

Well, that’s one way to get rid of the gang problem. However, the good doctor thinks this is a bad idea.

I have no idea where this idea comes from but plating one’s own genitals will only ultimately end in serious medical complications or even death, as we have seen in this case” Gold platting one’s own genitals is “a medical impossibility” and should not be attempted, warns Dr Ian Joseffson.

Fucknotgiven

Some experts believe the tradition might find it’s roots in prehistoric Mesoamerican cultures, such as the Mayas who painted parts of their bodies with gold paint to empower themselves and as an offering to the Gods.

Yeah, they also intended to be able to clean it off when they were done, and I doubt they would have been stupid enough to use an electroplating machine if they had existed back then. I doubt it had anything to do with making an offering to the gods, more like he wanted to impress his girlfriend.

hillary clinton awful

Yo! Come here and kiss my shiny golden (CENSORED) I wonder how many of these clods survived and ended up having certain “Vital Bits” Jennerized?

Thatisall

~The Angry Webmaster~

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