Happy Thanksgiving from Anger Central! As a public service, I would like to warn our liberal friends about the dangers of deep frying a Tofu Turkey.
Deep frying turkey has become extremely popular in recent years and in general most conservatives and independents quickly learned about the dangers of deep frying a standard turkey. Basically it comes down to using common sense and taking precautions when working with the hot oil.
Of course, as we all know, people of the “Liberal” persuasion are not noted for having great quantities of common sense. If they did, they wouldn’t be liberals now, would they?
The first problem of course is that Liberals despise Thanksgiving. They see it as the beginnings of the oppression of the innocent, naive natives who frolicked about in peace and harmony until the coming of the evil white Europeans who raped and pillaged the environment and enslaved the happy peaceful natives.
In addition, Liberals tend to be vegans and would never dream of hurting a single feather on a turkey’s head. They would rather release the turkeys held on evil corporate slave farms and let them range free. Since Liberals wouldn’t dream of being involved in what they see as the Annual Genocide of Turkey’s each year, they choose to eat Tofu.1
Now, I don’t have any Tofu although Mrs. Webmaster does use it on occasion. (It’s a Chinese thing) Since we don’t have any Tofu in the Anger Central Palatial Estates at the moment, I was forced to improvise and make do with so that I could show the dangers of deep frying a Tofu Turkey.
To begin with. I will show what happens if you deep fry a turkey without taking proper precautions.
As you can see, disaster can ensue. In this case the people were lucky they didn’t burn their house down.
I have also found a video of how to deep fry small slices of Tofu.
Of course, for our Liberal Vegan friends, small slices of Tofu as shown in the following video simply won’t do. Instead they will reshape it into a politically correct rendition of a turkey and deep fry that instead. I have located a web site run by some obviously idiotic moonbats nice liberal cooks who have a recipe for forming Tofu into the shape of a turkey as well as it’s preparation. Of course, since they are sensitive liberal artistic types who refuse to sculpt the Tufo into the shape of an oppressed animal, it does have a tendency to look like an organically grown concrete cinderblock.2
Unfortunately, the practice of deep frying a politically correct Tofu Turkey is such a new phenomenon that there are no videos available. Of course, this may be due to the Liberals sitting around beating on drums when their house catches fires and burning up with it rather than trying to put out the fire or running for their lives.3
Now, we will provide a video on how to correctly deep fry a turkey. This can also be used as the basis of deep frying 20lbs of Tofu that has been shaped in a politically correct manner like a cinderblock turkey.
We hope you have a safe and politically correct holiday in memory of Gaia, the peaceful natives of North America and the millions of turkeys that were raised in pain and suffering to be brutally slaughtered and devoured by those inhuman European white slavers and destroyers.
~The Angry Webmaster~
- What is Tofu? [↩]
- No doubt it has the same taste and consistency of a cinderblock as well [↩]
- This would be due to their beliefs that Fire has a right to express its self or something [↩]