Leave it to the Dutch, they always seem to find interesting ways to Kevork1 themselves. However, letting yourself be eaten by a tiger is a new one on me.
The story in The Daily Mail reports:
A man was killed by tigers at Copenhagen Zoo today after he scaled a fence and crossed a moat to gain access to the predators’ enclosure. The victim, who has been identified as a 20-year-old of Afghan descent living in Copenhagen, was savaged by three tigers after he broke into the zoo in the Danish capital in the early hours.
Afghan decent huh? Probably trying to convert the tigers to Islam no doubt. Tigers decided that weren’t going to have any of that nonsense!
He was found dead surrounded by the Siberian tigers when staff arrived for work.
Well, at least the zoo won’t have to feed the tigers for a day or so. Of course, he was afghan, so he’s was probably very boney with not much meat on him. Oh well, a free meal is a free meal.
It is unclear why the man, entered the enclosure but police have not ruled out suicide as a possible motive.
Gee, what gave them that idea? The fact that he had to break into the zoo, then climb into the tiger’s enclosure and then swim the moat? Some how I don’t think he was volunteering to clean out their litter box.
According to Danish media the young man lived alone in a flat near his family in central Copenhagen and was just about to finish high school.
Just finishing high school? Hmm, in the United States, you’re generally finished by 18. He must have FAILED a few times and been held back. Oh well, at least he won’t be a burden to the taxpayers in Holland. The investigation into his death is ongoing but some information has been released.
Superintendent Lars Borg revealed that a post-mortem examination has shown the man was bitten on the thigh, chest, face and throat. He said: ‘We received an emergency call at about 7.30am that a person had been found lying in the tiger pen and that three tigers were surrounding that person.
‘The tigers attacked him and killed him. It is likely that a bite to the throat was the primary reason for his death.
Yep, that would do it.
‘He has been in the water and the animals must have seen that and attacked him.’
More than likely the tigers thought that breakfast had arrived a bit earlier than normal. The staffers who found the tigers breakfast victim where shocked of course and are helping out officials in trying to determine what happened and why. The what is simple of course. Mohammad had this sudden urge to explore the digestive tract of a large carnivorous cat from the inside and decided this was the easiest way to do so. So, how are the officials going to keep the next idiot from causing potential indigestion?
He added that this is the first incident of its kind in the zoo’s 152-year history and that he has no plans to review security.
He said: ‘If a person really wants to get in there, we cannot prevent it from happening.’
In Florida we have a problem with morons who want to swim with killer whales. The whales don’t really like to be bothered so they live up to their names and drown the stupid idiots who climb into their tank. Of course, they aren’t trying to kill themselves, unlike “Poor Mohammad.”
Danish newspaper Ekstrabladet spoke to the young man’s family and relatives earlier today.
‘We have cried all day’, a member of his family told the paper.
‘I’m absolutely shattered’, one of his friends said.
‘He was a really, really nice guy’
And by now he is tiger droppings.
Frankly, if I were going to do something stupid and kill myself, being eaten by tigers doesn’t even show up on the list of ways to off myself.
Well, here’s to this week’s winner of the Darwin Award.
~The Angry Webmaster~