Matthew

Few people are able to draw my hostility to the point where it causes me acute physical pain to be in their presence, and Matt is one of them. Why? Because he's arrogant, ignorant, and consistently shows nothing but contempt for everyone else's opinion besides his own. He will try to argue the most hastily slapped-together arguments in class and expect everyone to swallow it hook, line, and sinker, for no apparent reason other than it originated from him. One of my personal favorites: the idea the state should honor the ballots of absentee voters who died before an election because it 'provides an incentive for the state not to kill off all of one particular view'-- What the fuck?! He was referring to America, not some bullet-riddled third-world shit hole, so whatever 'political purgings' he's talking about are a mystery to those of us who live in the real world.

This wouldn't be all that annoying on its own, but Matt's ignorance, coupled with his vanity and self-centeredness, is a monster that belongs in a whole different category. Matt apparently doesn't understand the difference between talking with people and talking _at_ them, really for no other reason than having a set of eardrums on which his voice (something he apparently thinks is deep and commanding, but always sounds to me like somebody farting into a pillow) can resonate. He interrupts constantly, goes on long-winded, discursive, monologues where he sounds like he's giving a speech in the mirror, and flat-out tells people that their ideas are stupid if he doesn't immediately agree with them (usually involving a mix of interruption and rambling oratory). Picture the game show American Idol with one man acting as performer, judge, audience, and host when the occasion calls for it, and you have a good idea of how he conducts most of the social interactions in his life -- so one-sided, vapid, and narcissistic that you feel your stomach turning just watching it. I'll be glad when I never have to see him again after the end of this semester, but in the meantime I struggle to keep my hands off his throat during the many, many times he decides to open his mouth in class when he should just shut up.