There are a lot of things I dislike about Kentucky, my native state. There's the appallingly low educational levels and general ignorance of the majority of the populace. There's the economy that is still overly dependent on 19th century industries, such as growing tobacco, raising horses, and coal mining. There's the corrupt, ineffectual politians that control the state. There's the ridiculously conservative, far right wing-nut, bass-ackwards, regressive and generally anti-intellectual attitude that seems prevail here over all.

But one of the things that drives me nuts about this state is that without a doubt, Kentuckians are the most negative, cynical, depressing bunch of people I have ever met. There was a recent study that stated that Kentuckians were second only to West Virginians as the most unhappy people in the nation. Boy, do I ever believe it too! These people can take the most positive situation or event and still somehow manage to find something to bitch about. And it's not enough that they have this perverse need to make themselves miserable, they have to make sure that everyone around them is miserable as well. Yeah, there's a real "can't do" attitude among these hicks. Is it any damn wonder that Kentucky ranks 48th or 49th in just about every socio-economic indicator in existence??

For the love of God, if life is that damn horrible, then just commit suicide and get it over with! Otherwise, shut the fuck up and stop all the damn complaining! Life is not that bad and the glass is not always half empty. Perhaps if more Kentuckians spent less time bitching and moaning about everything under the sun and instead focused more of their attention on ways to improve the quality of life here, then perhaps this state could move forward and become a more pleasant, progressive place to live.

Owensboro, Kentucky 2

I suppose I'm pissed off because I live in a cesspool of humanity, deep in the Ohio River Valley. I moved back to Kentucky, from Australia, with my 5-month old daughter to be near my family about two years ago. My husband followed us when his immigration was approved about a year later. The town we live in is not huge, but it is populated by approximately 60,000 people - give or take a few meth-heads. We thought my husband would get here, be able to find a career and we would be able to start our life. We were wrong; so very wrong!! So far all we have been met with in this hell-hole of a town is discrimination with people saying things like "Tell your hubby to go back home and leave the jobs for us!" and stupidity. Having grown up here, I wasn't aware of how this town compared to others but after living on the other side of the world for a considerable amount of time, I can tell you, without a doubt; people are fucking ridiculous here. Let me just run down a small list of the daily fucking brain-bending that we have to endure just to take my daughter to her music class.

  1. The neighbor guy that lets his dog shit in everyone's yard and doesn't pick it up unless you give him a death stare.

  2. The Bumpkin' Express train that is on the railroad tracks that divide the town in half decides to slow down so much it is almost stopped - at 10:30 in the freaking morning!!

  3. Even though the traffic light is yellow, Pappy McGhee and Bubby and Sissy keep on hammering down on the gas pedal to run through the light. Nevermind that the light is now red and I have a fucking green arrow to turn. Oh, and no one ever, ever uses their turn signals in this town. Ever. I want to take a hammer and bash all of the light bulbs out of their turn signals since they don't use them.

  4. We get to the street where we need to turn, but there's a huge semi with it's emergency flashers on! Oh no...what does this mean? The light is green; it's not moving...what is going on? Well guess what...this freaking idiot with his little, tiny, florescent green vest on is parked in the driving lane!! So I had to take my ass right on around him! If we weren't running late to Kindermusik, I probably would have pulled over and strangled that asshole with his green vest, gotten back in the car and been on my way. But Mommy had to stuff it all down inside because we were late!

  5. When we get to music class, some ass-clown in one of those huge vans is taking up 1.5 parking spots DOWNTOWN because they are from a neighboring hick community and cannot drive and/or park. So we had to back our little asses up and park in another spot.

Music class is an entirely different experience. All of the local mothers and fathers in there like to pretend like it's some sort of black-tie gala. It's so fucked up! You know, we're supposed to be there singing with our kids, playing games and having fun and they can't stop acting stuck-up and snobby for one minute and just enjoy the moment with their kids. I'm always really glad when class ends. Our daughter loves it, I just wish we had cooler families in there that weren't such freaks of nature, but I think that's sort of the luck of the draw in this town. Our last class is next week.

My husband also got a call for a career very close to St. Louis. I hope like hell he gets it because if he doesn't we are getting the hell out of here and moving back to Australia. This place is fucked.

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