OMG!!! I am soooo mad becasue every where i go there is some pig that needs to fart, and when they do it they make it look like someone else did, and i soooooo piss's me the hell of. Like in 6 grade (im 17 so i still remeber this) a girl that always sat in front of me ALWAYS farted and it smelled sooooooo bad, i felt like i wanted to vomit, i know when you gotta do it you gotta do it, but DAMN! it was everyday and it just made me sick. Oh and once this fatass farted and then blamed it on me! WTF! all the ppl were pointing at me and laughing i was like so pissed cause im not a fucking pic i dont do that shit. SO THATS WHY I AM PISSED! SO GO TO THE FUCKING BATHROOM YOU LAZY ASS AND FART THERE CASUE NO ONE WANTS TO SMELL YOUR TOXIC GAS!
AAAAARGH!!!! Seems like theres always one in every shop, the guy that farts at the start of the shift, continuously throughout, and then at the end. I honestly don't know which is worse, the guy that squeezes his ass cheeks together to amplify the noise so every time he toots, it sounds like the shuttle lifting off, or the girl that lets em sneak out and waft around like the brown cloud of death. Why doesn't OSHA ram a gauge up their wazoos and declare them both an explosion hazard.
Then there are the truly uncouth, those who fire their bowel cannons in public. I remember walking into a brown cloud floating through KMart, it was so thick and pungent it brought tears to my eyes.
People who fart wherever they please make me SICK. For example, when my dad steps outside for a smoke, he farts INSIDE, just before he goes OUTSIDE. WHY?! Does he think I like to smell what comes out of his ass? Why not wait until you go outside, so the wind can blow it away, instead of sealing the fart in the house, making a toxic gas chamber. And I'm sick and tired of my brother running up to me whenever he has a fart and the ripping it right on me!!!!! THIS IS WHAT I GO THROUGH EVERY DAY!! THANK YOU VERY MUCH, YOU ALL HAVE MADE MY LIFE A LIVING HELL. *rips hair out*
I get really mad when people fart in an elevator, especially since I work on the 52nd floor in my building and it takes a while to get up there. If you have to fart, why not do it before you get on? Be considerate, people. I would prefer not to die in a moving toxic gas chamber. And what's really sick is when people have those nasty rotten tomato-egg smelling farts... you know what I mean. and you fart every 10 seconds! JUST STOP IT! please, I have a family.
Why do gassy people think it's funny to make you huff their thick assed butt fumes every ten minutes, but the minute you blow a butt goblin, they get all huffy and pretend like you hit them with a mustard bomb? I work with a guy who does precisely that; he farts as often as normal people breathe, and isn't the least bit embarassed about it. Has he no shame?!! And the smell is just plain morbid. Adding insult to injury, the son of a bitch laughs when one of us chokes on his nasal abominations.
Thus comes the hypocrisy: It's alright for him to do the butt bazooka every ten minutes, but I honk my ass horn once in two years and he gets so bent out of shape, you would think the rapture happened. Talk about overboard, now the guy intentionally eats gassy foods to make his gas worse. The bastard actually did research on the internet to find out what foods give the smelliest gas. Gimme a fucking break!
*Note from Anger Central
The webmaster has one of those types where he works. He is annoyed to to point of calling HR about it. "Hello? This person has a serious medical problem, and he won't do anything about it. Because of this gastric problem, he is causing me to not be able to perform my duties assigned to me by this company. Please ask him to seek medical attention."
What is so damned funny about belching? We had one guy in the shop who started belching really loud, so what happens? Everyone has to follow suit, and compete to be the deepest, loudest, smelliest belcher in the joint. Now they are swallowing air so they can "belch-talk" and belch songs.
I walked out on the floor yesterday, to hear someone belching "Oh Christmas Tree" and two other people conversing in belches. Since this has been going on, three people have swallowed so much air, and pushed so hard to make their belches louder and more powerful, that they have wound up cannonading others with steaming geysers of puke. What the fuck?!!
I hate when I get PMS! Every fucking month this always happens to me. I get bloated, cramps, headaches, cravings for junk food, AHHH I hate it! Thank God there's Midol. If it wasn't for Midol I would be in serious pain with cramps every month. I know it is part of being a female but why do I have to suffer PMS every month? >:(
What the hell kind of disease/medication causes people's farts to smell like vomit and burnt rubber? Fucking jackass across from me has been blowing this deathly stench out of his ass horn for the past fucking month!!! I mean, I've smelled the salty and sulfurous farts before, and those are nasty, heck, even the mundane milk farts are tiresome, but this guy who sits right across from me, who must think that farting is a full time job, is suddenly emitting some of the most God-awful stenches known to man! WTF!!! Every couple of minutes he rips one, and I'm not talking the little pop-farts, I'm talking about the long healthy ones that last a couple of seconds and sound like fabric being torn. What the hell causes that much gas? What the hell causes them to stink like a combination of vomit and burning rubber? WTF?!! You have to wonder if this asshole does this to his wife all night in bed. Piece of shit!
recently, in my job, I have been forced to work with a 46 year
old bastard, they call him Ron. but as he came up to shake my hand, the fat
bastard released the most shitty foul rancid smell from his mouth I have ever
had the privilege of enduring. yanno when you take a big dump, and the shit is
so big, it rips your ass, and your eyes water, and you make that face! well
that's all I did. but I was cool about it, I simply turned around, picked up my
eyebrows, and walked away. but now we are not friends, I asked him if he brushes
his teeth with dog shit.
(he wasn't impressed)
There is nothing more annoying than going to the bathroom to take a leak, than to walk into the thick stench of a ripe bowel movement. There are several people with whom I work, that have various fixtures they carry with them like custom drinking mugs, etc. One particular individual is ALWAYS in the bathroom taking a dump.
I don't mind that people occasionally HAVE to go, but when you train yourself to be regular at work, you are forcing other people to not only cover for you, while you read your novel or the newspaper, but you are choking people to death as they urinate.
Probably the most annoying thing is to go to the whizmaster, to see all three toilets occupied, with all three occupants tooting, belching, and straining, all while rustling papers, and exchanging sections under the stall partitions. Come on, the crapper isn't a place to socialize. Train yourself to go at home.
I know I am a woman and we get "that curse of the month" but I hate getting my period! I know it is part of being a female to get it every month, but my periods are so annoying. I get very crampy, I get headaches, and bloated, and other stuff I am not going to mention. I have been getting my period for 18 years and it gets worse as I get older. I am now 31 and still bitch about my period every month. Guys are so lucky they don't get this monthly curse but they hear us women bitch about it all the time, lol! >:)
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