Decaf Coffee

Decaf “coffee” makes me FUCKING ANGRY! I fucking LOVE caffeine and I must have coffee in the morning or else I am a FUCKING BITCH! I fucking HATE it when the only free coffee at work is FUCKING DECAF! FUCK these stupid pussies who can’t handle the REAL deal! YOU SUCK! Fuck you, fuck your high blood pressure, your medication and jitters and FUCK all you health nuts saying bullshit like “Too much caffeine is bad for you, blah blah blah…” FUCK YOU! I am fucking healthy and thinner than any of the health-nut Nazi, caffeine avoiding whackos that I work with!

I don’t have issues with caffeine because when I drink REAL fucking coffee I MOVE and burn it off instead of you losers who sit on your fat asses complaining you are jittery. IT IS CALLED FUCKING ENERGY YOU FAT FUCKS, MAYBE IF YOU GET OFF YOUR ASS AND MOVE YOU’LL FEEL BETTER! That is what fucking COFFEE is for! To give you fucking ENERGY! Yeah coffee makes your heart beat faster…because that is what it is supposed to do! If your heart is fucking HEALTHY and not clogged up with FAT you don’t have to worry about a little bit of caffeine making your damn heart explode!

If you lead a healthy lifestyle and are fucking ACTIVE you don’t have to go on dumb-assed diets and drink pussy decaf beverages. Simple things like coffee don’t give me a problem because my body is fucking HEALTHY! Why is it I am the thinnest woman in my workplace and I never go on diets, I eat whatever AND I drink TONS of fucking coffee? Newsflash= It’s because I am not a lazy, whiny decaf drinking LOSER! YEAH I drink coffee every morning because it helps me GET OFF MY ASS! This is why my ass isn’t FAT! Many women my age have a big lard ass and I don’t. Maybe it’s because I GET OFF MY ASS every morning and DRINK COFFEE and I MOVE AROUND!

Just because a few people can’t handle it, the rest of us at work have to suffer with FUCKING DECAFF! The shit is probably worse for your health than regular coffee because they use chemicals to remove the caffeine. Coffee is SUPPOSED to have fucking CAFFEINE! It is NATURAL! If you can’t handle caffeine drink fucking juice, water, milk or fucking herbal tea and let the rest of us have our fucking REAL COFFEE! I am SO sick of this shit that I have been buying my coffee at Starbucks. Bye-bye free coffee…I refuse to drink the fucking chemical laced pussy assed decaf that people make here at work.

AND I have to hear fucking BULLSHIT from fat assed “health Nazis” saying “Too much caffeine is bad for your heart!” when I bring in Starbucks. FUCK YOU! My heart is FINE! If it is so bad for me why am I healthy and a NORMAL weight and YOU are fat and on blood pressure pills? Maybe if you had REAL fucking coffee all those years you wouldn’t be fat with high blood pressure!

My great grandmother lived to age 103 and she drank REAL fucking coffee every morning! She never had a weight problem or a heart problem of any kind and could still walk until the day she died. New research is even saying coffee is HEALTHY and has antioxidants and crap that prevents cancer and I am convinced! SO FUCK YOU DECAF DRINKING PUSSIES! I LOVE FUCKING CAFFIENE! I WANT TWENTY SHOTS OF ESPRESSO PLEASE, NO CREAM AND NO FUCKING SUGAR! I NEED FUCKING CAFFIENE! When all you decaf drinking wimps are dead from obesity and high blood pressure I will piss FUCKING REAL COFFEE all over your grave!

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