Santa Hats

Santa's hat belongs on his head ONLY. Unless you're giving EVERYONE ON EARTH the gift they've been wishing for all year, or you're in the mall acting as his helper and dressed in FULL GARB for the should NEVER EVER wear The Hat. It's symbolism and magic is lost if your boss puts it on and passes out crappy trinkets at the office party. Or if the bossy old neighbor lady wears it every fucking year because she wants to be everyone's favorite's just not festive, truthful, or cute and I want to slap them off your head immediately. Being Santa is an awsome responsibility and requires having love, joy, laughter, and generousity all fucking year long. Please, have respect for The Hat and the job. Take off those cheap felt pieces of shit, and never wear them again. You're not cute. We're not fooled. Don't spoil the magic.

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