America facing a shortage of clowns

Good day all. It has come to my attention that the United States is facing a critical shortage of clowns. Yes, it’s true. Circuses are struggling to find people with red noses and big shoes to entertain, (And frighten), small children everywhere.

According to the New York Daily News no one wants to be a clown anymore. Here are the details on this national nightmare:

Membership at the country’s largest trade organizations for the jokesters has plunged over the past decade as declining interest, old age and higher standards among employers align against Krusty, Bozo and their crimson-nosed colleagues.

“What’s happening is attrition,” said Clowns of America International President Glen Kohlberger, who added that membership at the Florida-based organization has plummeted since 2006. “The older clowns are passing away.”

Membership at the World Clown Association, the country’s largest trade group for clowns, has dropped from about 3,500 to 2,500 since 2004.

“The challenge is getting younger people involved in clowning,” said Association President Deanna (Dee Dee) Hartmier, who said most of her members are over 40.

I think I see the problem. These clowns all grew up before the internet, X-Box or streaming video. They had to use their imaginations. Today’s kids have no imagination. They don’t clown around anymore in classrooms, only online. They simply don’t have an interest in putting on all that makeup, wearing floppy shoes and trying to make people laugh.

Well, never let it be said I don’t have a solution. I know where they can find over 500 clowns, all of them highly experienced. Here is a picture of them during their annual meeting with the chief clown in the process of be-clowning himself.

See? Problem solved!

Thatisall

~The Angry Webmaster~

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