{"id":12254,"date":"2013-06-30T14:38:44","date_gmt":"2013-06-30T18:38:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=12254"},"modified":"2020-09-09T06:12:51","modified_gmt":"2020-09-09T10:12:51","slug":"review-world-war-z","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=12254","title":{"rendered":"Review: World War Z"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Good day all. Today I\u2019m going to review the new Brad Pitt flop, World War Z. This is going to be a rather snarky review, and there will be spoilers. (Not that it really matters of course)<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>I went to this movie with the Angry Brother In-law and a number of his coworkers. (The place of business shall remain anonymous) The original plan was to go to Chunky\u2019s, but that changed and everyone decided to go to the newly renovated AMC theater in Tyngsboro, MA. This caused a few issues with some of the coworkers since they were carrying guns (All correctly permitted under new Hampshire law), and Massachusetts is a state that only allows police and criminals to go armed. The vitriol hurled at the People\u2019s Democratic Republic of Taxachusetts in the email chain would have made an NSA analyst blush.<\/p>\n<p>So these people chose not to go. The Angry Brother In-Law, his neighbor, The BBQ King of the Universe and I arrived at Smokey Bones for dinner with the others. As we sat down at the bar, the Angry Brother In-Law got a call. Change of plans. It\u2019s Chunkys after all. It seems the AMC theater needs a reservation for a group this large and nothing was available. We pack up and head to Chunkys and meet everyone there. We go in, get booze and food and sit back to watch the movie.<\/p>\n<p>Now, if you read Max Brooks book, don\u2019t bother comparing the movie to it. Brooks got a big check with the understanding he might not like the results. Since it was a big check, Brooks was happy with the results. Now, if you recall, the movie was due out last year but was pulled back for some reworking. Apparently, they reworked most of the movie. This should be you first hint of a problem.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"width: 120px; height: 240px;\" src=\"http:\/\/rcm-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/e\/cm?lt1=_blank&amp;bc1=000000&amp;IS2=1&amp;bg1=FFFFFF&amp;fc1=000000&amp;lc1=0000FF&amp;t=angersentral&amp;o=1&amp;p=8&amp;l=as4&amp;m=amazon&amp;f=ifr&amp;ref=ss_til&amp;asins=B000JMKQX0\" height=\"240\" width=\"320\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>The basic plot for the book has a writer going around the world after the zombies have been pretty much eradicated. He writing down people\u2019s recollection of the war. The movie is a bit different. It takes place at the start of the war and Pitt\u2019s character is a retired UN investigator. (What the hell is it with Hollywood and the UN? Oh wait. Why am I bothering to ask a silly question) Pitt and his family are in the car stuck in traffic in downtown Philadelphia when they notice odd things happening. A cop on a motorcycle races past and tears the mirror off Pitt\u2019s car. He gets out to look around and get the mirror. As he gets back in another cop comes by and tells him to stay in his car. Then he gets crushed by a garbage truck. Pitt takes off after the truck which is battering it\u2019s way through the traffic. And here is one of the first issues I have. A garbage truck crashing through dozens of cars? I don\u2019t think so. A few maybe, but that truck is going to destroy the cab and engine.<\/p>\n<p>Now the Zombies appear and the Pitts start running for their lives and steal a camper that just happens to be there and are able to drive clear of Philly. Yeah, right. I don\u2019t think so Tim! Anyway. This is your typical zombie movie. There\u2019s lots of running, panicking, biting and shooting. I\u2019m not going to talk much about that as I am about the utterly idiotic and totally unnecessary flaws in this film.<\/p>\n<p>First Pitt\u2019s character gets in touch with his old boss from the UN. He and his family are SAVED! and flown to a US Navy ship about 100 miles offshore. Here is my first quibble. Why so far off shore? Why not 30 miles? You can save fuel for the aircraft that way. Once aboard, Pitt is told he will be part of a team to find the source of the zombie infection. He doesn\u2019t want to go and leave his family. The commander says no problem. You can spend all the time you want with your family back on the mainland. Pitt agrees even though his wife is annoyed with him. Hello? You and your kids will be safe on a ship AT SEA, away from the zombies. Dumb idiot.<\/p>\n<p>So the plan is to go to Korea where they have a report that something odd happened a couple of weeks earlier. Now we have my hair pulling \u201cYOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING?!?! DIDN\u2019T YOU TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT FLIGHT OPS FROM A CARRIER?\u201d moment. The plan is to fly from the carrier in a four engined C-130 to Korea. Now it is impossible to launch a C-130 Hercules transport from a carrier. It\u2019s to damned big, it requires a fairly long runway and if you try to use the catapults, you will fire the front of the plane right into the ocean. It\u2019s not designed for it.<\/p>\n<p>And this is why they used CGI. And here we have another issue. The carrier isn\u2019t moving, and the plane with US NAVY slathered all over it isn\u2019t a C-130. It\u2019s a Russian Antonov AN-12. Then there is the small matter of distance. While a jumbo jet can fly that far, a C-130 or an AN-12 flat out doesn\u2019t have the range. ARRRGGGGHHH!!!<\/p>\n<p>Ok. They fly their magic plane running on Magic airplane pixie fuel which quadruples the range. The land in Korea in the rain at night. Do they wait until it\u2019s light out so that can see more then 20 feet? Hell NO! Here come the zombies for a good long CHOMP. Oh look! There are survivors on the base and they shoot the zombies.<\/p>\n<p>Then there is the inevitable flashbacks about what happened and the information that Israel knew something was happening and was able to secure their borders, so it\u2019s off to Israel in the same plane! Of course, they need to refuel from a tanker filled with more Magic Airplane Pixie Fuel and the slightest sound will cause the zombies to arrive as if the dinner bell has been rung. So, it would make sense to wait until morning so you can see them coming and set up a good defense, right? Yup, so that is exactly what they don\u2019t do. As expected, everyone but Pitt and one pilot get killed and or turned into zombies, but since Pitt has made a dramatic getaway, next stop, Ben Gurion airport.<\/p>\n<p>Once in Israel, Pitt talks to the head of Mossad to find out how they knew something was going to happen. Long story condensed, everyone thought it was nothing, but a rule that one person must always disagree and work from the premise that yes, the Arabs will invade and yes, there are zombies in India. So the Israelis built a 100 foot wall around the country.<\/p>\n<p>And here we have quibble number 45. There are no guard towers! They have a few helicopters flying around, but other then the wall itself, not apparent defenses. Hello? Are you mental? Suddenly, all the survivors break into song and here come the zombies, climbing over each other to get over the wall. The helicopters start shooting at them of course, but all they have are belt fed machineguns. Doesn\u2019t the Israeli Defense Force have any Dillon ((<a href=\"https:\/\/web.archive.org\/web\/20160621011413\/http:\/\/www.dillonaero.com:80\/home.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Dillon Aero<\/a>)) Miniguns? When dealing with zombies massed like that and climbing the walls, you want something that hoses them off and that is exactly what a Dillon does at around 3-4000 rounds per minute.<\/p>\n<p>So the zombies come over the wall and Israel is overrun. Pitt is being escorted to his plane by a group of very hot looking female IDF soldiers. They are attacked and one of the women is bitten on the hand. Pitt chops her hand off, then they wait a minute to see if she will turn. She doesn\u2019t and off to the airport. Pitt\u2019s pilot decides that the best place to be is anywhere else, takes off and leaves him. Pitt and the remaining soldiers stop a Russian airliner that is about to take off, (Amazing what a couple of M16\u2019s and a couple of Tavors ((Tavor TAR-21)) aimed at a cockpit can accomplish), and Pitt and the injured soldier climb on board. (Why the others didn\u2019t is unknown)<\/p>\n<p>Off they go and Pitt reaches his wife on his magic Satphone. (The kind that works indoors and iside steel hulled ships) He talks to his boss and asks where the nearest WHO lab is. He thinks he found something. (Zombies don\u2019t like sick people apparently) He convinces the pilots to fly to England. Then came a bathroom break. (Me. The beer had to go somewhere) When I got back a zombie had shown up on the plane. (Not the IDF soldier) The soldier empties her sidearm into the zombies and Pitt decides to go all in. He pulls a grenade off the soldiers belt and throws it into the oncoming mass of zombies. As expected, the grenade goes off, a hole the size of a barn door is blown in the side of the plane, the zombies are sucked out, then they crash. (Grenades in a plane tend to have that effect)<\/p>\n<p>Low and behold, the only survivors are Pitt and the injured IDF woman. Pit has a chunk of plane through him, but no matter, He must walk miles to the lab. Of course, a would like that is pretty much fatal unless you have a fully equipped and staffed trauma center 20 feet away, but hey! He\u2019s the hero! He can\u2019t die! (Damn it!)<\/p>\n<p>More manure in the lab where the scientists start acting like goons. Pitt gets in tough with the bossman who informs him that his family has been voted off the island, in this case, the ship. They thought he was dead so no reason to keep the wife and kiddies around. Pitt tells the scientists his theory and wants a disease that is fatal unless treated. No problem. Plenty of that in B-wing. Just one small problem. It\u2019s full of zombies.<\/p>\n<p>Oh darn. Well, no matter, the movie must go on! In goes Pitt, the IDF soldier and the head of the lab. They sneak around avoiding the zombies, and as expected, make noise. The IDF woman doesn\u2019t help matters by opening fire with her sidearm. Next comes the running, the screaming and the terror. Pitt separates from the other two and manages to get to the lab with the various diseases. Of course, a zombie arrives and Pitt locks himself in repository. What to do, what to do. Yes, you guess correctly. He picked one of the vials at random and shot up. Once the infection kicks in, he simply strolls back with the remaining vials. The world is SAVED! Pitt\u2019s family is SAVED! *barf*<\/p>\n<p>The end of the movie was obviously set up for the sequel that isn\u2019t going to happen. As expected, the movie is not doing well, which isn\u2019t surprising since they basically reshot at least a third of it do to really bad reviews. To be honest, I think the Resident Evil films were better. (And there\u2019s a massive slam against World War Z)<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/Facebook-stock-value.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-7789\" alt=\"\" src=\"http:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/Facebook-stock-value-300x199.jpg\" width=\"300\" height=\"199\" srcset=\"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/Facebook-stock-value-300x199.jpg 300w, https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/Facebook-stock-value-150x99.jpg 150w, https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/Facebook-stock-value-400x266.jpg 400w, https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/Facebook-stock-value.jpg 800w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Besides the issues I listed, they utterly missed the whole premise of the book. Granted, there really isn\u2019t any way to put that book on the big screen, but as a cable mini-series? It would have worked perfectly. Then there was the level of gore shown. There wasn\u2019t any. They did things to hide the normal zombie effects in order to get their PG-13 rating. In fact, the zombies weren\u2019t even eating their victims. They just wanted the zombie infection to spread, so it was bite and move on. Please, zombies eat people and they don\u2019t wait for the conversion to Soylent Green ((Soylent Green is PEOPLE!)).<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/09\/violinist.gif\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-966\" alt=\"violinist\" src=\"http:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/09\/violinist.gif\" width=\"100\" height=\"120\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>This movie was ok. I wouldn\u2019t bother paying to see it if I were you, at least not full price. It\u2019s a 2 out of 5 stars in my book and isn\u2019t making it on to my \u201cBuy the DVD\u201d list. Instead, I would by the ZK-1 instead, just in case real zombies show up.<\/p>\n<p>Thatisall<\/p>\n<p><i><b>~The Angry Webmaster~<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n<span id=\"wp-postratings-12254\" class=\"wp-postratings\" data-nonce=\"b323db81f5\"><span class=\"wp-postratings-vote wp-postratings-scale wp-postratings-shape-star\" style=\"--wp-postratings-shape:url(data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns=%27http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg%27%20viewBox=%270%200%2024%2024%27%3E%3Cpath%20d=%27M12%202.4l2.95%205.98%206.6.96-4.77%204.65%201.12%206.57L12%2017.46l-5.9%203.1%201.12-6.57L2.45%209.34l6.6-.96z%27\/%3E%3C\/svg%3E)\" data-post-id=\"12254\" role=\"radiogroup\" aria-label=\"Rate this post\"><input type=\"radio\" id=\"wp-postratings-12254-5\" name=\"wp-postratings-12254\" value=\"5\" data-rating=\"5\" \/><label for=\"wp-postratings-12254-5\" style=\"--wp-postratings-step-fill:0%\"><i class=\"wp-postratings-item\"><\/i><span>5 Stars<\/span><\/label><input type=\"radio\" id=\"wp-postratings-12254-4\" name=\"wp-postratings-12254\" value=\"4\" data-rating=\"4\" \/><label for=\"wp-postratings-12254-4\" style=\"--wp-postratings-step-fill:0%\"><i class=\"wp-postratings-item\"><\/i><span>4 Stars<\/span><\/label><input type=\"radio\" id=\"wp-postratings-12254-3\" name=\"wp-postratings-12254\" value=\"3\" data-rating=\"3\" \/><label for=\"wp-postratings-12254-3\" style=\"--wp-postratings-step-fill:0%\"><i class=\"wp-postratings-item\"><\/i><span>3 Stars<\/span><\/label><input type=\"radio\" id=\"wp-postratings-12254-2\" name=\"wp-postratings-12254\" value=\"2\" data-rating=\"2\" \/><label for=\"wp-postratings-12254-2\" style=\"--wp-postratings-step-fill:0%\"><i class=\"wp-postratings-item\"><\/i><span>2 Stars<\/span><\/label><input type=\"radio\" id=\"wp-postratings-12254-1\" name=\"wp-postratings-12254\" value=\"1\" data-rating=\"1\" \/><label for=\"wp-postratings-12254-1\" style=\"--wp-postratings-step-fill:100%\"><i class=\"wp-postratings-item\"><\/i><span>1 Star<\/span><\/label><\/span> (<strong>1<\/strong> votes, average: <strong>1.00<\/strong> out of 5)<br \/><span class=\"wp-postratings-text\" id=\"wp-postratings-12254-text\"><\/span><\/span>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Good day all. Today I\u2019m going to review the new Brad Pitt flop, World War Z. This is going to be a rather snarky review, and there will be spoilers. (Not that it really matters of course) <a href=\"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=12254\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":899,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,32,84,62],"tags":[4,62,34,76],"class_list":["post-12254","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-entertainment","category-general","category-movies","category-reviews","tag-entertainment","tag-reviews","tag-stupidity","tag-zombies"],"views":2076,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4622,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=4622","url_meta":{"origin":12254,"position":0},"title":"Review: Robopocalypse","author":"Angry Systems Administrator","date":"August 21, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all, this is the Angry Systems Administrator with a book review. Today I\u2019m going to review Robopocalypse by Daniel H. Wilson.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Book&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Book","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=63"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4509,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=4509","url_meta":{"origin":12254,"position":1},"title":"Review: Outcasts","author":"Angry Systems Administrator","date":"August 8, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Greetings all, This is the Angry Systems Administrator. Looks like this is the week for reviews. My review is the BBC Television series, Outcasts. The show revolves around a small settlement on the planet Carpathia in the year 2060. It is the home of the people who have left Earth\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Entertainment&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Entertainment","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":33688,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=33688","url_meta":{"origin":12254,"position":2},"title":"It\u2019s SUPERBOWL SUNDAY!!! *yawn*","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"February 7, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. Today is \u201cTHE DAY!\u201d It is Superbowl Sunday, the most important day of the year to millions of Americans. I don\u2019t happen to be one of them. Until I looked it up a few minutes ago, I didn\u2019t know who was actually playing this year. Hmmm, The\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Entertainment&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Entertainment","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.pinimg.com\/originals\/79\/cf\/97\/79cf97a8a1dda3462047cc50a33ffbe8.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":15649,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=15649","url_meta":{"origin":12254,"position":3},"title":"Review: Guardians of the Galaxy","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"August 9, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. As the title says, I saw Guardians Of the Galaxy last Thursday. I\u2019m not, for once, going into my usual detailed style of review. There isn\u2019t any real need.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Entertainment&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Entertainment","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":26157,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=26157","url_meta":{"origin":12254,"position":4},"title":"Review, Avengers: Infinity War","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"April 28, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. It\u2019s been a busy and entertaining day for me. I just came back from the latest Marvel release, Avengers: Infinity War. This isn\u2019t going to be a long review, certainly not as long as the movie. The film runs 2 hours and 30 minutes, plus the previews,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Economy&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Economy","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=176"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.pinimg.com\/originals\/ae\/da\/b8\/aedab8c771a7adf9dd1793ebafb5d383.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":14088,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=14088","url_meta":{"origin":12254,"position":5},"title":"Review: I, Frankenstein","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"February 1, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Greetings all. It\u2019s a new year and a new review. Last night I saw the new movie I, Frankenstein. I had seen the commercials for it and it looked interesting. I was very mistaken.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Entertainment&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Entertainment","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"toilet","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/toilet-289x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/09\/marvin.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12254","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12254"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12254\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":31622,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12254\/revisions\/31622"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/899"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12254"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12254"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12254"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}