{"id":13118,"date":"2013-10-03T15:46:55","date_gmt":"2013-10-03T19:46:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=13118"},"modified":"2020-11-11T14:49:36","modified_gmt":"2020-11-11T19:49:36","slug":"the-apocalypse-day-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=13118","title":{"rendered":"The Apocalypse, Day 3"},"content":{"rendered":"

We\u2019re in the middle of Day Three of the Apocalypse and so far, the only zombies that have been spotted are furloughed Federal Workers. At this time, they are just milling about, looking for free coffee and donuts.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Currently, our brave leaders are working tirelessly to save us. Why our Dear Leader, President Obama is at this moment in deep talks with the Republican leadership…Correction, we now have it on good authority<\/a> that President Obama has once again fled the Capitol. Current information has him hiding out in Rockville, Maryland where he is ranting and raving about how the Republicans are at fault for not doing what Il Douche is commanding them to do.<\/p>\n

\"Il<\/a><\/p>\n

We have also been given information on the brave forces of the National Park Service being overrun by hordes of octogenarian veterans of World War 2. The Essential Park Service Employees, acting under direct orders of Barack Obama, blocked off the World War 2 Memorial as a cost cutting measure. Irate veterans broke through the defenses using heavily unarmored and unarmed wheelchairs and walkers, forcing the loyal forces of the National Park Service to fall back and regroup. Reports from Reichsmarschall Harry Reid state that these criminals will be dealt with and that reinforcements will be deployed to counterattack and drive back the veterans.<\/p>\n

\"reid-stup2\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Nationally, there have been no reports of Zombies, plagues, locusts or massive earthquakes. Most people are going about their business as usual, and apparently are unaware that the Apocalypse has occurred. The National Propaganda Bureau, nicknamed the \u201cObama Steno Pool\u201d is endeavoring to inform the masses that the world has ended and that sick children are being sacrificed by the \u201cEvil Republicans<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n

There will be further reports on \u201cTHE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!\u201d as new information becomes available.<\/p>\n

Thatisall<\/p>\n

~The Angry Webmaster~<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n\"1\"2\"3\"4\"5 (1<\/strong> votes, average: 1.00<\/strong> out of 5)
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We\u2019re in the middle of Day Three of the Apocalypse and so far, the only zombies that have been spotted are furloughed Federal Workers. At this time, they are just milling about, looking for free coffee and donuts. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":899,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[71,8],"tags":[6,18,110],"class_list":["post-13118","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news-of-the-day","category-politics","tag-humor","tag-obama","tag-scoamf"],"views":709,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/09\/marvin.png?fit=305%2C420&ssl=1","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":13139,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=13139","url_meta":{"origin":13118,"position":0},"title":"93% of EPA employees considered worthless","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"October 6, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. With the federal government sort of shut down, workers considered \u201cNonessential\u201d have been sent home. Of course, they will still get paid later on for not showing up, but that something for another day.","rel":"","context":"In "Jobs"","block_context":{"text":"Jobs","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=141"},"img":{"alt_text":"Der Fubar","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/Der-Fubar-274x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":45847,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=45847","url_meta":{"origin":13118,"position":1},"title":"Federal layoffs begin, IRS hit hard","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"October 24, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. We\u2019re moving into week three of the Schumer Shutdown and the layoffs and riffs have begin. In previous shutdowns, the affected bureaucrats took this as a paid vacation knowing they would get back pay and other benefits. This time, things are different. Many of the jobs are\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Economy"","block_context":{"text":"Economy","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=176"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.pinimg.com\/736x\/3b\/ee\/72\/3bee721dfc6ab4641785e4818debe1a0.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":45849,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=45849","url_meta":{"origin":13118,"position":2},"title":"Unions trying to block layoffs and RIF\u2019s","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"October 16, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. The layoffs and Reduction In Force of federal employees has begun. Tens of Thousands of government employees, unionized government employees are being sent home, and many won\u2019t be coming back. These layoffs and RIF\u2019s are panicking not just the government employees, but also the unions. If all\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Economy"","block_context":{"text":"Economy","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=176"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.pinimg.com\/736x\/6b\/0d\/dd\/6b0dddb274a5b4997aa642ad950cde6f.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":13192,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=13192","url_meta":{"origin":13118,"position":3},"title":"The Apocalypse, Day 15, Horror in the Garden!","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"October 15, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Oh the Horror! The Horror! Due to the shutdown. The White House Garden has been allowed to wither and die! Squirrels have invaded and are devouring everything they can get their buck teeth into! There are rumors of Zombies in the Rose Garden as well! (Oh wait, that was another\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Jobs"","block_context":{"text":"Jobs","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=141"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/Spite-House_zpscaf4acef.jpg?fit=550%2C366&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/Spite-House_zpscaf4acef.jpg?fit=550%2C366&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/Spite-House_zpscaf4acef.jpg?fit=550%2C366&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":45800,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=45800","url_meta":{"origin":13118,"position":4},"title":"And the shutdown is on!","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"October 4, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. As of this post, it\u2019s October 1st, pumpkin spice is replacing cocaine as the preferred recreational substance, and the Federal Government has run out of money again. As of 12:00AM Eastern Time October 1st, the United States Government can no longer borrow money. Additionally, a great deal\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Jobs"","block_context":{"text":"Jobs","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=141"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/2DD21DEC-43FE-11EE-B1A9-021BCE20117F-300x126.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":10298,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=10298","url_meta":{"origin":13118,"position":5},"title":"The Apocalypse has arrived!","author":"Angry Systems Administrator","date":"December 21, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Good morning all. This is the Angry Systems Administrator reporting on The End Of The World! As you probably know, according to the Mayan calendar, today the world is scheduled to end. The Angry Webmaster has locked himself in the Anger Central Secret Bunker, better known as the closet, so\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=6"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/10\/DaffyScrewball.gif?fit=288%2C267&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13118","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13118"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13118\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":32801,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13118\/revisions\/32801"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/899"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13118"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13118"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13118"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}