{"id":13559,"date":"2013-12-09T16:06:04","date_gmt":"2013-12-09T21:06:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=13559"},"modified":"2015-10-09T05:47:21","modified_gmt":"2015-10-09T09:47:21","slug":"criminal-geniuss-unique-mode-of-escape","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=13559","title":{"rendered":"Criminal genius\u2019s unique mode of escape"},"content":{"rendered":"

Good day all. Yesterday I wrote about a bunch of idiots<\/a> in Mexico who have probably killed themselves after stealing a load of radioactive waste. Today, we have yet another criminal mastermind with a unique means of escape.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

What did this Moriarty type do? Did it involve a daring escape with a helicopter? Perhaps it was a high speed supercar traveling at 150mph? Not exactly. Try the Long Island Railroad. Here are the details from My Fox NY:<\/p>\n

Police say a New Jersey man has been arrested after he was found carrying a stolen cash register aboard a Long Island Rail Road train. Metropolitan Transit Authority Police responded to a call of a man acting suspiciously on a Penn Station-bound LIRR train on Tuesday morning. The MTA officers approached Cory Ford, 34, of Newark near the Jamaica station and discovered that he was concealing a cash register.<\/p>\n

Detectives discovered that the register was stolen at approximately 9:30 p.m. the night before from Eloisa Beauty Center on Medford Ave. in Patchogue. Ford was charged with burglary. He was to be arraigned on Wednesday in Central Islip. It wasn’t immediately clear if he had a lawyer.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Now, this criminal mastermind obviously had his escape route carefully worked out. I would assume that he didn\u2019t actually work to much on the actual crime, otherwise he wouldn\u2019t have tried to bring a cash register, which probably weighs in at 30-40 pounds onto a train. Why he didn\u2019t bring some tools and simply break into the register escapes me.<\/p>\n

\"double-facepalm\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Perhaps he really wasn\u2019t interested in the contents of the register, but likes to collect cash registers? He may have been in the store and simply couldn\u2019t wait for them to open so he could buy it, and in a fit of impatience<\/i><\/span> gross stupidity, broke into the store and took the register he so desperately desired. Perhaps it was, in his fevered mind, the Mona Lisa of cash registers.<\/p>\n

Naaaaa! He\u2019s just some coked up loser who is almost to stupid to breath on his own. I wonder who ties his shoes for him in the morning and makes sure he doesn\u2019t have his pants on backwards when he leaves the house? I\u2019m also curious as to why he was in a beauty salon in the first place. Looking at his mug shot in the article, about all they could have done was put a $0.10 bag over his head. Although they might have recommended a good plastic bag, taped tightly around the neck. You know, to keep out the mosquitoes and the rain.<\/p>\n

\"stupid_meter\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Well, I\u2019m certain that the district attorney will carefully weigh the evidence and rather then take this case to court, plea bargain it down to a misdemeanor and a small fine. Personally, anyone this stupid should not be allowed to continue to dwell on this planet…Or this plane of reality. I recommend a swift hanging to clean out the gene pool.<\/p>\n

Thatisall<\/p>\n

~The Angry Webmaster~<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n

(Who is wondering if this fool ever heard of a crowbar, of knew how to do anything with one other then beat someone with one)<\/p>\n

[yasr_visitor_votes size=”medium”]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Good day all. Yesterday I wrote about a bunch of idiots in Mexico who have probably killed themselves after stealing a load of radioactive waste. Today, we have yet another criminal mastermind with a unique means of escape. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3,135,71,115],"tags":[94,6,15,34],"class_list":["post-13559","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-crime","category-just-desserts","category-news-of-the-day","category-stupidity-crime","tag-chump-of-the-week","tag-humor","tag-incompetence","tag-stupidity"],"views":1150,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":19276,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=19276","url_meta":{"origin":13559,"position":0},"title":"The Stupid Criminal of the week? Dashawn Terrell Cochran!","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"October 11, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all, we have a winner in the category of \u201cThe Stupid Criminal of the Week\u201d category. This losers name is Dashawn Terrell Cochran. What makes Dashawn Terrell Cochran a stupid criminal, besides committing a crime? You are going to love this. When Dashawn went to make his escape,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Crime"","block_context":{"text":"Crime","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"The-Good-Idea-Fairy-3","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/The-Good-Idea-Fairy-3-268x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":17707,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=17707","url_meta":{"origin":13559,"position":1},"title":"When planning a robbery, don’t Google \u201cHow to escape\u201d","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"April 4, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. This week's entry in the \u201cStupid Criminals of the Week, we have a pair of bright bulbs who were planning on robbing a bank and then googled how they could get away. These two criminal masterminds were, of course, captured. Here are the amusing details from Fox\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Crime"","block_context":{"text":"Crime","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"double-facepalm","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/double-facepalm-300x240.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":29326,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=29326","url_meta":{"origin":13559,"position":2},"title":"Stupid Criminal of the month!","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"August 30, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. Usually, I will post a story regarding a complete idiot who commits a crime and either gets caught or killed in an incredibly stupid manner. I call this the Stupid Criminal of the week. However, once in a while, I find one who manages to be stupid\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Crime"","block_context":{"text":"Crime","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Stupid-Criminal-300x289.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":16480,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=16480","url_meta":{"origin":13559,"position":3},"title":"An amusing end to a criminal mastermind","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"November 18, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. While perusing the latest from Shickel Gruber the Arrogant, I came across this little nugget of happiness and joy regarding a robber who called in sick for gun safety class in criminal school and went to the mall or something.","rel":"","context":"In "Crime"","block_context":{"text":"Crime","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"stupid_meter","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/stupid_meter.gif?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":19798,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=19798","url_meta":{"origin":13559,"position":4},"title":"The Stupid Criminal of the week #50 is…","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"December 8, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Matthew Riggins! Let's hear it for Mr. Riggins, a burglar who gave his all, just not quite the way he had intended to. It seems that when Mr. Riggins and his accomplice were spotted trying to burgle someone's home, they did what criminals always do. Run away and feed some\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Crime"","block_context":{"text":"Crime","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"Stupid Criminal","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Stupid-Criminal-300x289.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":24240,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=24240","url_meta":{"origin":13559,"position":5},"title":"Criminals saving taxpayers money","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"May 27, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. In this week\u2019s episode of \u201cStupid Criminals of the Week\u201d we have a few law breakers who were nice enough to save the taxpayers a significant amount of money. And how did they do this you ask?","rel":"","context":"In "Crime"","block_context":{"text":"Crime","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Stupid-Criminal-300x289.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13559","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=13559"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13559\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19265,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13559\/revisions\/19265"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=13559"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=13559"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=13559"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}