Since the webmaster is a major reader of Science Fiction, we like to \t\tperuse the forum known as Baen’s Bar. This little gem was posted by a gentleman poster. Here \t\tis a lesson on why you should never send him unsolicited anything. \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n
FYI. We lost the original posting and pulled this from another site: \t\tThe \t\tNaughty Corner<\/a><\/p>\n From Steve Yee, over at Baen’s bar.\u00a0 (He said it could be cross posted.\u00a0 “Go for it. \t\tAttribute it if you want – I don’t mind.<\/p>\n -Steve “)<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Just what I need.\u00a0 It’s bad enough that my son’s drooling over Princess \t\tLeia in the bikini – I don’t need magazines full of cheerleaders \t\tbouncing and tumbling everywhere.<\/p>\n Anyhow – All I have to do is either go to this web page or dial a toll \t\tfree number, enter this code, fill out a form, and I get this magazine \t\tfull of flashing legs and pretty faces.<\/p>\n You all know where this is going….I decide to do some fun stuff for a \t\tchange.\u00a0 Especially since I didn’t ask for the magazine.<\/p>\n I go into the phone switch in the office where I’m at and I program my \t\textension’s caller ID to show I’m calling from the \t\t Towers Jail Facility of Maricopa County.\u00a0 Then I dial the number.\u00a0 \t\tIt connects to some magazine aggregator.<\/p>\n “Hello – SynapseConnect, can I get your subscription code?”<\/p>\n “Sure – its” (insert code here).<\/p>\n “Okay – it shows you get one year of American Cheerleading for free. “<\/p>\n “Great!\u00a0 What do you need from me?”<\/p>\n “Let’s start with your last name”<\/p>\n “Hornei – spelled H-O-R-N-E-I, it’s pronounced horn-neigh”<\/p>\n “Is that French?”<\/p>\n “Yes, it is”. (Yeah, I’m as french as I can get..)<\/p>\n “Alright – first name?”<\/p>\n “Henri, spelled H-E-N-R-I”<\/p>\n (She gets a bit excited here)<\/p>\n “Oh, that is very french.\u00a0 And is the phone number on my caller I’d \t\tdisplay here correct?”<\/p>\n “Yes, it is”<\/p>\n “Great! I see it’s to the tower jail…..oh.\u00a0 Do you work there?”<\/p>\n “Sort of. I get paid 45 cents an hour when I’m in the mechanics garage”<\/p>\n “……I see. Uhhh”<\/p>\n (Long pause here)<\/p>\n “Are you an inmate there?”<\/p>\n “Yes.\u00a0 But we have mail and email privileges here.”. (Yeah, right.<\/p>\n Sheriff Joe doesn’t give crap to the prisoners here).<\/p>\n “Oh. And what are you in for, Henri?”<\/p>\n “I was caught babysitting my neighbor’s daughter in the wrong way”.<\/p>\n “What do you mean?”<\/p>\n “Know what an underage Lewinsky is??”<\/p>\n What came next was shocking.\u00a0 I got a 2 minute stream of invectives that \t\twould make Gunny Ermey<\/a> blush.\u00a0 \t\tThen….<\/p>\n “What do you have to say for yourself?”<\/p>\n “Well, her dad is my cell mate…”<\/p>\n More silence.\u00a0 \u00a0Another volcano was brewing on the other end of the \t\tline.\u00a0 I’ve got the phone on mute laughing my ass off.<\/p>\n “I can’t believe you’re on our subscription list”<\/p>\n “I’m not. I’m trying to accept your offer of a free year of the \t\tmagazine”.<\/p>\n “Well, you won’t get it you…..you….”<\/p>\n And then there’s more invectives and colorful idioms.\u00a0 Wow. I’m \t\timpressed. She would make a great DI.<\/p>\n “You are a sick bastard. I hope you rot”<\/p>\n “Well, when I get out, can we have a date?\u00a0 Gives me something to look \t\tforward to.\u00a0 Besides, if you all didn’t put me on the mailing list, I \t\twouldn’t be calling”<\/p>\n “Oh, I’ll make sure you’re off our list….you sicko….”<\/p>\n (More silence)<\/p>\n “I can’t find you on the list.\u00a0 How did you get the subscrption code \t\tagain?”<\/p>\n “Oh….my….God”<\/p>\n (Click)<\/p>\n Welcome to the real world, sweetie. Mass emailers – you never know who \t\tyou send things to.\u00a0 And I guess she figured out she was being punk’d.<\/p>\n Ahh.\u00a0 I feel better now.\u00a0 Gotta go reprogram the phone switch back to my \t\tnormal number.\u00a0 \u00a0I guess I can’t get the magazine now.\u00a0 \u00a0<\/p>\n -Steve<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Since the webmaster is a major reader of Science Fiction, we like to peruse the forum known as Baen’s Bar. This little gem was posted by a gentleman poster. Here is a lesson on why you should never send him unsolicited anything. \ud83d\ude09 Continue reading