{"id":16480,"date":"2014-11-18T16:02:14","date_gmt":"2014-11-18T21:02:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=16480"},"modified":"2014-11-18T18:08:02","modified_gmt":"2014-11-18T23:08:02","slug":"an-amusing-end-to-a-criminal-mastermind","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=16480","title":{"rendered":"An amusing end to a criminal mastermind"},"content":{"rendered":"

Good day all. While perusing the latest from Shickel Gruber the Arrogant, I came across this little nugget of happiness and joy regarding a robber who called in sick for gun safety class in criminal school and went to the mall or something.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

The story begins about a year ago when a jewelry store was robbed in New Canaan, Connecticut . He was the only one who wasn\u2019t caught by the police, and had been hiding out. Apparently, this evil genius never considered leaving the area and instead hid out in his apartment in Brooklyn. What happened next makes a hilarious end to the Saga of Ralik Hansen. Here are the details from the New York Post<\/a>:<\/p>\n

A Brooklyn man wanted in January\u2019s brazen robbery of the Midtown Cartier store freaked out and grabbed a gun when a FedEx man rang his buzzer \u2014 then accidentally blew his own brains out trying to hide under a couch, sources said Thursday. <\/i><\/p>\n

\"stupid_meter\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Heeheehee! Haahaahaa! HoHoHo!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!<\/p>\n

Ralik Hansen, 28, believed that the driver, who rang every bell at 360 Snediker Ave. in Brownsville to deliver a package on Oct. 31, was a cop, authorities said. <\/i><\/p>\n

\u201cIn his paranoia, he ran to the bathroom and grabbed a .357 and was trying to shimmy under his couch to hide in his apartment when the gun went off,\u201d a law-enforcement source said. <\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\"nelson2\"<\/a><\/p>\n

He was probably trying to use his \u201cSuper Duper Sekret Escape Hatch\u201d that he had built under his couch.<\/p>\n

\u201cHansen erroneously thought it was the police coming to get him,\u201d added Leon Krolikowski, the police chief in New Canaan, Conn., where Hansen and his crew allegedly hit a jewelry store a year ago <\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I can see it now. Here we have the cunning criminal, hiding in his secret criminal lair when \u201cDing Dong! Hello! FedEx! I need a signature!\u201d \u201cOh My God! It\u2019s the cops! Where\u2019s my gun? I know! I\u2019ll hide under my couch. They will never find m…BOOM! *Thud*<\/p>\n

\"The<\/a><\/p>\n

From what I see on the Post\u2019s article, this wasn\u2019t a suicide, even though Dumbell the Dumbass managed to blow his brains out. I suspect he might have cocked the hammer on the .357, which was probably a revolver and then dropped it. Whatever, I will say he did the citizens of Connecticut a service. Now they won\u2019t have to pony up for a trial, a public defender and prison space for 40 years. Let this be a lesson to criminals everywhere. Always keep the booger hook off the bang button.<\/p>\n

Thatisall<\/p>\n

~The Angry Webmaster~<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n

[yasr_visitor_votes size=”medium”]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Good day all. While perusing the latest from Shickel Gruber the Arrogant, I came across this little nugget of happiness and joy regarding a robber who called in sick for gun safety class in criminal school and went to the mall or something. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3,6,135,71,204,115],"tags":[3,222,6,15,34],"class_list":["post-16480","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-crime","category-humor","category-just-desserts","category-news-of-the-day","category-second-amendment-2","category-stupidity-crime","tag-crime","tag-good-idea-fairy","tag-humor","tag-incompetence","tag-stupidity"],"views":1303,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":19276,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=19276","url_meta":{"origin":16480,"position":0},"title":"The Stupid Criminal of the week? Dashawn Terrell Cochran!","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"October 11, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all, we have a winner in the category of \u201cThe Stupid Criminal of the Week\u201d category. This losers name is Dashawn Terrell Cochran. What makes Dashawn Terrell Cochran a stupid criminal, besides committing a crime? You are going to love this. When Dashawn went to make his escape,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Crime"","block_context":{"text":"Crime","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"The-Good-Idea-Fairy-3","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/The-Good-Idea-Fairy-3-268x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":21061,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=21061","url_meta":{"origin":16480,"position":1},"title":"Store owner to robbers, \u201cBatter UP!\u201d","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"May 2, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. I discovered this over the weekend. This was an attempted robbery that occurred in 2013. A pair of bright boys decided to rob a store using knives. This occurred in Calgary, Canada. Well, the store owner decided he didn\u2019t approve of these impolite individuals.","rel":"","context":"In "Crime"","block_context":{"text":"Crime","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"Stupid Criminal","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Stupid-Criminal-300x289.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":29272,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=29272","url_meta":{"origin":16480,"position":2},"title":"Using Lyft as a getaway vehicle not a good idea","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"August 18, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. The stupidity of the criminal element never ceases to amaze me. Recently, we had some petty thief try to use Lyft as her means of escape. As you might expect, it didn\u2019t end well for the criminal. This took place a couple of weeks ago in Florida.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Crime"","block_context":{"text":"Crime","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Stupid-Criminal-300x289.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":24816,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=24816","url_meta":{"origin":16480,"position":3},"title":"Stupid criminal of the week is?","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"August 28, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Viet Trinh!! Good day all. It\u2019s been a while since I did a Stupid Criminal of the week, but this one showed up and I just had to issue this moron a gold star for stupidity. Trinh\u2019s stupidity didn\u2019t begin with his crime, although that was really stupid in and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Crime"","block_context":{"text":"Crime","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Stupid-Criminal-300x289.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":41011,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=41011","url_meta":{"origin":16480,"position":4},"title":"This is the way to handle a robber","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"August 10, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. Crime under both the Biden Maladministration, the Blue State governors and the Blue City mayors and city councils has exploded over the last three years. In states like Kalifornistan, you have multiple problems for honest people. Soros DA\u2019s and a political class dead set on denying people\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Hero"","block_context":{"text":"Hero","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=181"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/Gunny-Lock-Load-300x285.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":29326,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=29326","url_meta":{"origin":16480,"position":5},"title":"Stupid Criminal of the month!","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"August 30, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. Usually, I will post a story regarding a complete idiot who commits a crime and either gets caught or killed in an incredibly stupid manner. I call this the Stupid Criminal of the week. However, once in a while, I find one who manages to be stupid\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Crime"","block_context":{"text":"Crime","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Stupid-Criminal-300x289.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16480","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=16480"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16480\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16484,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16480\/revisions\/16484"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=16480"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=16480"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=16480"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}