{"id":17216,"date":"2015-02-07T14:35:38","date_gmt":"2015-02-07T19:35:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=17216"},"modified":"2015-02-07T14:35:38","modified_gmt":"2015-02-07T19:35:38","slug":"review-jupiter-ascending","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=17216","title":{"rendered":"Review: Jupiter Ascending"},"content":{"rendered":"

Good day all. This is the Angry Systems Administrator. Last night I went to the opening of the new Wachowski film, Jupiter Ascending. The movie stars Mila Kunis, Sean Bean and Channing Tatum.<\/p>\n

\"popcorn\"<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

The movie was scheduled for release last year, but something caused it to be delayed, which annoyed me. Lately, it was shown Sundance where a number of snobby, artsy fartsy nitwits criticized the movie and walked out of it. Since these people generally have no relation to humanity, others who have seen it liked it. I’m adding myself to the list that liked it.<\/p>\n

\"snob_che_frame\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It isn’t a film of high art. To be honest, the plot is one that you will recognize. Still, the movie was wild with its effects. (I want a pair of those boots!) The basic plot revolves around Mila Kunis’s character, Jupiter Jones. She is a house cleaner and is introduced bent over a toilet, cleaning it out. She is not happy with her life, as you might expect, and is conned into selling some of her eggs, (Ova), for cash. This is when she finds out that there are forces out in the galaxy that want to kill her.<\/p>\n

She is rescued by Tatum’s character, and finds out that she is a natural genetic copy, (Not a clone), of a now dead queen. She ends up in a city hidden in Jupiter\u2019s Great Red Spot, where she is confirmed as the new queen and given her inheritance. Part of that inheritance is the Earth. It turns out that the Human race did not evolve on Earth, but was \u201cSeeded\u201d there 100,000 years ago, and is one of thousands of such worlds. The purpose of this is to have the population harvested and reduced to a serum that rejuvenates the “Pure” humans running the galaxy as a sort of fountain of youth.<\/p>\n

Obviously, as the new owner of Earth, Jupiter is not going to allow that. This leads to a lot of political shenanigans as well as space battles. Since the plot is very predictable, it isn’t much of a spoiler to guess that Jupiter wins, Channing Tatum’s character saves her and the Earth will never be \u201cHarvested.\u201d Jupiter returns to her home and becomes much happier as a house cleaner.<\/p>\n

Now on a scale of 1-10, I’ll give this film a solid 7. The plot is weak, but the cinematography is excellent. I doubt I will buy this on DVD when it comes out, but I do recommend seeing it in the theaters. Just sit back and enjoy the pretty colors. Just don’t expect any academy awards for this movie.<\/p>\n

~The Angry Systems Administrator~<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n

[yasr_visitor_votes size=”medium”]<\/p>\n

\"The<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Good day all. This is the Angry Systems Administrator. Last night I went to the opening of the new Wachowski film, Jupiter Ascending. The movie stars Mila Kunis, Sean Bean and Channing Tatum. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,32,84,62],"tags":[4,62],"class_list":["post-17216","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-entertainment","category-general","category-movies","category-reviews","tag-entertainment","tag-reviews"],"views":672,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":17291,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=17291","url_meta":{"origin":17216,"position":0},"title":"Review: The Kingsman: The Secret Service","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"February 15, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all, This is the Angry Systems Administrator. I hope you're enjoying the snow. The Angry Webmaster isn't, especially since I dumped a few feet on him \u201cBy accident\u201d the other day. In any case, I went and saw the new movie, The Kingsman: The Secret Service last night.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Entertainment"","block_context":{"text":"Entertainment","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"popcorn","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/popcorn-246x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":14939,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=14939","url_meta":{"origin":17216,"position":1},"title":"Godzilla opening tomorrow","author":"Angry Systems Administrator","date":"May 15, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all, this is the Angry Systems Administrator. Tomorrow, the latest iteration of \u201cGodzilla\u201d will be opening around the country. Early reviews have been positive, or so I have been told.","rel":"","context":"In "Entertainment"","block_context":{"text":"Entertainment","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"The Angry Systems Administrator","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/dr_strangelove_1ed07-150x150.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":17086,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=17086","url_meta":{"origin":17216,"position":2},"title":"Review: The Interview","author":"Angry Systems Administrator","date":"January 24, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. This is the Angry Systems Administrator. the Seth Rogen movie, The Interview, was released today on Netflix. Since it's snowing out and I'm stuck in the Data Center, I logged in to watch it.","rel":"","context":"In "Economy"","block_context":{"text":"Economy","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=176"},"img":{"alt_text":"canceled","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/canceled-300x126.jpeg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":19842,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=19842","url_meta":{"origin":17216,"position":3},"title":"“I felt a great disturbance in the Force”","author":"Angry Systems Administrator","date":"December 13, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Greetings all, this is the Angry Systems Administrator. The latest Star Wars film, The Force Awakens, is scheduled to open this Friday. (December 18th) The anticipation for the latest entry into the franchise, without any input from George Lucas, has gone through the roof.","rel":"","context":"In "Entertainment"","block_context":{"text":"Entertainment","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"Dork Wars","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Dork-Wars.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Dork-Wars.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Dork-Wars.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Dork-Wars.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":7040,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=7040","url_meta":{"origin":17216,"position":4},"title":"Prometheus","author":"Angry Systems Administrator","date":"March 20, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Good morning all. IN a break from the usual tirades from the Angry Webmaster, I thougth I would bring you a trailer from the movie Prometheus. This is the latest film by Ridley Scott and is sort of a prequel to his movie Alien. I don't know to much about\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Entertainment"","block_context":{"text":"Entertainment","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":28281,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=28281","url_meta":{"origin":17216,"position":5},"title":"Review: Captain Marvel","author":"Angry Systems Administrator","date":"March 20, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Hello everyone, this is the Angry Systems Administrator. Since the doofus who runs this place is busy making porn memes of a new representative from New York, (Which I\u2019ve been deleting. Don\u2019t need the hassles), I went to a movie. I saw the latest entry from Marvel Comics, Captain Marvel.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Entertainment"","block_context":{"text":"Entertainment","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.pinimg.com\/originals\/28\/6e\/98\/286e98ff4581d33980455e510c573ae5.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17216","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=17216"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17216\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17218,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17216\/revisions\/17218"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=17216"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=17216"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=17216"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}