{"id":20738,"date":"2016-03-21T11:11:50","date_gmt":"2016-03-21T15:11:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=20738"},"modified":"2016-03-21T11:11:50","modified_gmt":"2016-03-21T15:11:50","slug":"comets-heading-towards-earth-were-all-doomed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=20738","title":{"rendered":"Comets heading towards Earth. WE\u2019RE ALL DOOMED!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Good day all. Friday, in a barely covered story, news came out that a comet is heading towards Earth. This comet will come closer to Earth than any other in centuries. WE\u2019RE ALL GONNA DIE!<\/p>\n

\"shocked-face\"<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Now that I have your attention, (Hey, I can play clickbait with the best of them), here\u2019s what\u2019s really happening according to USA Today<\/a>:<\/p>\n

An emerald-green comet will brush the Earth Monday, followed one day later by a kissing cousin that will swerve closer to the planet than any other comet in nearly 250 years.<\/b><\/p>\n

Oh NO! We\u2019re looking down both barrels of a shotgun!<\/p>\n

The first and bigger of the two comets will be visible Monday to the naked eye in the southern hemisphere, as long as city lights are far away. <\/b><\/p>\n

Southern hemisphere? Say goodbye to Australia, South America and Africa!! Of course, the scientists aren\u2019t seeing anything but the comets. They don\u2019t understand that IT\u2019S THE END OF THE WORLD!!<\/p>\n

\u201cThis is one for the record books,\u201d says Michael Kelley of the University of Maryland, who\u2019s never heard of two comets approaching close to Earth a day apart. \u201cIt\u2019s a fantastic opportunity for professionals to learn more about comets, and if you have a chance to try to find them \u2026 it\u2019s a fantastic chance to see part of history as it happens.\u201d <\/b><\/p>\n

I\u2019m sure Barney the scientist dinosaur said the very same thing just before the Chicxulub asteroid blasted Barney and all his reptilian friends into the fossil record.<\/p>\n

The first member of the pair, known as comet 252P\/LINEAR, is a bright green color from the carbon gas it\u2019s puffing out, says the University of Maryland\u2019s Matthew Knight. 252P will slide past Earth at a distance of roughly 3 million miles. That\u2019s well beyond the moon but near enough to put 252P in the top 10 of closest-approaching comets.<\/b><\/p>\n

OMG! 3 Million miles is Nothing! And green? This isn\u2019t a comet, it\u2019s an alien attack and we are ALL DOOMED.<\/p>\n

Astronomers discovered the trailing member of the pair, P\/2016 BA14, a few months ago. It was shrugged off as yet another asteroid, or space rock. Then astronomers peering through a telescope saw it had a tail \u2013 and was therefore a comet. That means BA14 and its larger companion \u201care among the closest comets to pass by Earth in recorded history,\u201d says Knight, who took the first snapshot revealing BA14 is a comet. <\/b><\/p>\n

Scientists aren\u2019t yet sure of the nature of the relationship between 252P and its hanger-on. Perhaps BA14 broke off 252P decades ago. Both comets could be pieces from an even bigger comet, or they could be unrelated.<\/b><\/p>\n

Does the phrase \u201cFirst strike\/Second strike mean anything to you ivory tower types? The last time we were hit, it ended the Dinosaurs. I have located a video of how that event probably occurred.<\/p>\n

[youtuber youtube=’http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=5qJPTjMnwNk’]<\/p>\n

This will be a double impact. Humanity will DIE! I, for one, do not wish to go through a real life Lucifer\u2019s Hammer<\/a>, thank you very much. I recommend that the United States, Russia and China launch an immediate all out nuclear first strike on these enemy comets. Nuke them out of our orbit. It\u2019s the only way to be sure.<\/p>\n

\"nuclear<\/a><\/p>\n

Thatisall<\/p>\n

~The Angry Webmaster~<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n

[yasr_visitor_votes size=”medium”]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Good day all. Friday, in a barely covered story, news came out that a comet is heading towards Earth. This comet will come closer to Earth than any other in centuries. WE\u2019RE ALL GONNA DIE!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[63,4,32,5,6,71,57],"tags":[4,40,6,101,57,321],"class_list":["post-20738","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-book","category-entertainment","category-general","category-history","category-humor","category-news-of-the-day","category-technology","tag-entertainment","tag-general-housekeeping","tag-humor","tag-news","tag-technology","tag-teotwawki"],"views":712,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":30979,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=30979","url_meta":{"origin":20738,"position":0},"title":"The Great Panicdemic of 2020: Denver orders the post office to close","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"May 30, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. Once again, using the Wuhan Flu as an excuse, we are seeing the great heights of stupidity that some local governments will go to in their quest for absolute power. In this case, we have the moonbats in Denver. The have issued an order to the Post\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Crime"","block_context":{"text":"Crime","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.pinimg.com\/originals\/fb\/7f\/4b\/fb7f4beea9787acd0fe3a770ffd695bb.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":19533,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=19533","url_meta":{"origin":20738,"position":1},"title":"And good night to the Sun","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"November 12, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. 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The storm is really going to slam New York City and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=32"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.pinimg.com\/736x\/39\/8d\/d2\/398dd2b6e7c07d4339978341842937cf.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1169,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=1169","url_meta":{"origin":20738,"position":3},"title":"Al Gore and the Hunt for Heat in October!","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"October 27, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"While checking my RSS feeds, I came across this image from that fine website, the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler. He picked it up from another site, What's Up with That and he has encouraged us to pass it along. So I am. :) Global Warming is one of the biggest hoaxes in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Global Warming"","block_context":{"text":"Global Warming","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=43"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20934,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=20934","url_meta":{"origin":20738,"position":4},"title":"Review: Amazon Fire Stick","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"April 16, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Greetings one and all, this is the Angry Systems Administrator. Today I am going to review the latest addition to the Anger Central Entertainment Center, the Amazon Fire Stick.","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=32"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/e\/ir?t=angersentral&language=en_US&l=li2&o=1&a=B08MQZXN1X","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":19319,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=19319","url_meta":{"origin":20738,"position":5},"title":"Forget Man made Global Warming, Stop Man Made Continental Drift!","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"October 17, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. For almost 20 years, we have been listening to the moonbats screaming about Man Made Global Warming and how we're All Going to DIE!! 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