{"id":24171,"date":"2017-05-07T11:17:22","date_gmt":"2017-05-07T15:17:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=24171"},"modified":"2017-05-07T11:17:22","modified_gmt":"2017-05-07T15:17:22","slug":"how-are-mcconnell-and-ryan-remaining-upright","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=24171","title":{"rendered":"How are McConnell and Ryan remaining upright?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Good day all. I saw a story in the New Yorker<\/a> regarding Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan and their ability to stand upright without a spine.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Many scientists are now looking into this \u201cmiracle\u201d trying to find a scientific reason for these two spineless creatures having the ability to stand upright. Here are the details from The New Yorker<\/a>:<\/p>\n

Calling it a \u201cmedical mystery of the first order,\u201d scientists are baffled by the ability of Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and House Speaker Paul Ryan to stand upright without the benefit of spines. <\/b><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Doctors at the University of Minnesota Medical School, who have been studying the skeletal structures of both Republicans for months, believe that their ability to stand, walk, and even break into a brisk trot when confronted by reporters\u2019 questions is \u201cvirtually inexplicable.\u201d <\/b><\/p>\n

\u201cThe fact that they can do these things without the aid of spines makes McConnell and Ryan anomalies in the animal kingdom,\u201d said Dr. Davis Logsdon. \u201cAccording to everything medical science teaches us, their bodies should be collapsing to the ground in two heaps.\u201d <\/b><\/p>\n

Of course, there is a theory regarding how these two spineless creatures can maintain an upright position.<\/p>\n

As the Minnesota scientists have struggled to solve the medical conundrum presented by the two invertebrate leaders, one theory that has gained traction is what Logsdon calls \u201cthe startled-deer hypothesis.\u201d <\/b><\/p>\n

\u201cJust as a deer freezes in the headlights of a car and briefly appears statue-like, we believe that Ryan and McConnell\u2019s bodies may retain their rigid structure out of terror alone,\u201d he said. \u201cIn other words, fear is performing the function that a spine performs in other people.\u201d <\/b><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Calling it \u201cjust a theory,\u201d Logsdon said that the anatomies of McConnell and Ryan require further study, and that there was growing public support for both men to be dissected.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Now that is an excellent idea. I think we should start a petition at Whitehouse.gov<\/a> asking that both Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell be dissected in the interests of science. If the scientists can\u2019t determine how these two spineless politicians are able to maintain an upright posture, there are many others in the House of Representatives and the Senate that could also stand to be dissected.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

All in the interests of science of course.<\/p>\n

Thatisall<\/p>\n

~The Angry Webmaster~<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n

[yasr_visitor_votes size=”large”]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Good day all. I saw a story in the New Yorker regarding Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan and their ability to stand upright without a spine. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4,6,135,71,151,57,219],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24171","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-entertainment","category-humor","category-just-desserts","category-news-of-the-day","category-rino","category-technology","category-the-good-idea-fairy"],"views":638,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":25993,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=25993","url_meta":{"origin":24171,"position":0},"title":"The Cronybus spending bill","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"March 27, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. Last week, President Trump made a mistake. A big one. Rather then risk another shutdown of the Government, he signed what has to be one of the worst spending bills in a long time. This load of manure for all intents and purposes, puts paid to to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Moonbat"","block_context":{"text":"Moonbat","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=100"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/Manure-300x200.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":38854,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=38854","url_meta":{"origin":24171,"position":1},"title":"Once again, Cocaine Mitch shows he is a slimy Uniparty swamp dweller","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"November 1, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. With the Republicans poised to retake both houses of Congress, you would think that the party would be working overtime to get all the candidates elected. Many members of the GOP are doing just that. Then we have Cocaine Mitch McConnell. There is no truth to the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Economy"","block_context":{"text":"Economy","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=176"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.pinimg.com\/originals\/b7\/6a\/5c\/b76a5cb7f8aa6dbf421f03b514021a46.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":42336,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=42336","url_meta":{"origin":24171,"position":2},"title":"McConnell finally takes the hint and is stepping down","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"February 28, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. This story just broke, so the 72 hour rule applies. Cocaine Mitch \u201cBrainfreeze\u201d McConnell has announced he is stepping down as the minority leader in the Senate. McConnell is not liked by the Republican base. They consider him the reason the Senate is in the hands of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Just Desserts"","block_context":{"text":"Just Desserts","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=135"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/schadenboner-246x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":39524,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=39524","url_meta":{"origin":24171,"position":3},"title":"Do you need another reason to not trust Cocaine Mitch? Dementia Joe trusts him","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"January 17, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. We have been watching Senate minority leader and all around scumbag, Mitch McConnell, (RINO-KY), screw over the Republican base, conservatives and those who want to Make America Great Again. McConnell is now despised by pretty much the entire Republican party after his antics in the Midterms. McConnell\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Moonbat"","block_context":{"text":"Moonbat","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=100"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.pinimg.com\/originals\/b7\/6a\/5c\/b76a5cb7f8aa6dbf421f03b514021a46.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":24731,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=24731","url_meta":{"origin":24171,"position":4},"title":"Paul Ryan\u2019s dream job finally happening?","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"August 11, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. Representative and speaker of the House of Representatives, Paul Ryan, has proven to be a dismal failure. The only member of Congress even more of a failure is Senator and Majority Leader, Mitch \u201cthe Turtle\u201d McConnell. Well now we have some good news for Paul Ryan! Ryan\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Entertainment"","block_context":{"text":"Entertainment","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=4"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/Donald-Trump-300x214.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":43061,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=43061","url_meta":{"origin":24171,"position":5},"title":"Do you need another reason to not like Mitch McConnell? He likes Biden","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"July 10, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. Hot on the heels of the train wreck that was Dementia Joe Biden\u2019s recent debate performance, Mitch \u201cBrain Freeze\u201d McConnell decided to jump in and in true Uniparty style, throw Biden a lifeline. Mitch McConnell is the current Senate minority leader. 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