{"id":27779,"date":"2019-01-13T07:58:51","date_gmt":"2019-01-13T12:58:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=27779"},"modified":"2021-11-21T06:17:17","modified_gmt":"2021-11-21T11:17:17","slug":"this-is-not-how-to-do-an-armed-robbery","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=27779","title":{"rendered":"This is NOT how to do an armed robbery"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Good day all. I\u2019m always on the look out for criminals who are just to stupid to be allowed to live. Unfortunately, we can\u2019t just shoot them. The paperwork is horrendous. Still, stupid criminals do make it easier for everyone else.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Stupid-Criminal.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-19769\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Stupid-Criminal-300x289.jpg?resize=120%2C116\" alt=\"\" width=\"120\" height=\"116\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>For instance, we have one from a week ago. The favorite target for criminals, the pizza delivery guy, showed up with a pizza. The stupid criminal pulled out a loaded rifle magazine and threatened the driver. Yes, you read that correctly. Bozo the bonehead didn\u2019t pull out a loaded rifle, just the magazine. Here are the amusing details from <a href=\"https:\/\/web.archive.org\/web\/20190528174824\/https:\/\/www.thetruthaboutguns.com\/2018\/12\/staff-writer\/foolish-man-tries-to-rob-pizza-guy-with-nothing-but-a-rifle-magazine\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><b>The Truth About Guns<\/b><\/a>:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><b>There\u2019s not much to this story, but it\u2019s so absurd that it needs to be on the record. Wednesday night in Rockford, Illinois, a man ordered a pizza from an unnamed restaurant. The non-customer then intercepted the delivery man in the parking lot, attempting to rob him\u2026while pointing a loaded rifle magazine at him. <\/b><\/p>\n<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.pinimg.com\/originals\/d5\/c9\/f5\/d5c9f5a929f2b7bea86cb3b35321ffc0.jpg?resize=290%2C295&#038;ssl=1\" width=\"290\" height=\"295\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><b>Needless to say, this tactic was ineffective. <\/b><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/captain_obvious.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-17187\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/captain_obvious-300x182.jpg?resize=300%2C182\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"182\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/captain_obvious.jpg?resize=300%2C182&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/captain_obvious.jpg?w=370&amp;ssl=1 370w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\"><b>The two men struggled briefly before the magazine-wielder ran off. The delivery man called police to file a report and did not suffer any injuries from the incident. <\/b><b>The suspect is described as a 155-pound 5\u20198? black man in his 20s or 30s, wearing a black hooded sweatshirt and black pants. <\/b><b> <\/b><\/p>\n<p>Obviously, this criminal mastermind was following the Illinois laws regarding firearms. As a law abiding criminal, he felt that he couldn\u2019t use an illegal gun, and had to make due with a magazine instead. However, it was probably one of those evil high capacity standard magazines that can hold a trillion rounds.<\/p>\n<p>Frankly, this blockhead is lucky the delivery driver wasn\u2019t carrying, or he would have been taking a ride in a hearse. If only more criminals could be this conscientiously stupid, we could clean up the streets in no time. Now if he had only posted his stupidity on Faceplant.<\/p>\n<p>Thatisall<\/p>\n<span id=\"post-ratings-27779\" class=\"post-ratings\" data-nonce=\"b53162933e\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" id=\"rating_27779_1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/plugins\/wp-postratings\/images\/stars_crystal\/rating_on.gif?w=640&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"1 Star\" title=\"1 Star\" onmouseover=\"current_rating(27779, 1, '1 Star');\" onmouseout=\"ratings_off(5, 0, 0);\" onclick=\"rate_post();\" onkeypress=\"rate_post();\" style=\"cursor: pointer; border: 0px;\" \/><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" id=\"rating_27779_2\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/plugins\/wp-postratings\/images\/stars_crystal\/rating_on.gif?w=640&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"2 Stars\" title=\"2 Stars\" onmouseover=\"current_rating(27779, 2, '2 Stars');\" onmouseout=\"ratings_off(5, 0, 0);\" onclick=\"rate_post();\" onkeypress=\"rate_post();\" style=\"cursor: pointer; border: 0px;\" \/><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" id=\"rating_27779_3\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/plugins\/wp-postratings\/images\/stars_crystal\/rating_on.gif?w=640&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"3 Stars\" title=\"3 Stars\" onmouseover=\"current_rating(27779, 3, '3 Stars');\" onmouseout=\"ratings_off(5, 0, 0);\" onclick=\"rate_post();\" onkeypress=\"rate_post();\" style=\"cursor: pointer; border: 0px;\" \/><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" id=\"rating_27779_4\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/plugins\/wp-postratings\/images\/stars_crystal\/rating_on.gif?w=640&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"4 Stars\" title=\"4 Stars\" onmouseover=\"current_rating(27779, 4, '4 Stars');\" onmouseout=\"ratings_off(5, 0, 0);\" onclick=\"rate_post();\" onkeypress=\"rate_post();\" style=\"cursor: pointer; border: 0px;\" \/><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" id=\"rating_27779_5\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/plugins\/wp-postratings\/images\/stars_crystal\/rating_on.gif?w=640&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"5 Stars\" title=\"5 Stars\" onmouseover=\"current_rating(27779, 5, '5 Stars');\" onmouseout=\"ratings_off(5, 0, 0);\" onclick=\"rate_post();\" onkeypress=\"rate_post();\" style=\"cursor: pointer; border: 0px;\" \/> (<strong>1<\/strong> votes, average: <strong>5.00<\/strong> out of 5)<br \/><span class=\"post-ratings-text\" id=\"ratings_27779_text\"><\/span><\/span><span id=\"post-ratings-27779-loading\" class=\"post-ratings-loading\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/plugins\/wp-postratings\/images\/loading.gif?resize=16%2C16&#038;ssl=1\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\" class=\"post-ratings-image\" \/>Loading...<\/span>\n<p><i><b>~The Angry Webmaster~<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n<p><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\namzn_assoc_placement = \"adunit0\";\namzn_assoc_search_bar = \"true\";\namzn_assoc_tracking_id = \"angersentral\";\namzn_assoc_search_bar_position = \"bottom\";\namzn_assoc_ad_mode = \"search\";\namzn_assoc_ad_type = \"smart\";\namzn_assoc_marketplace = \"amazon\";\namzn_assoc_region = \"US\";\namzn_assoc_title = \"Shop Related Products\";\namzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = \"stupid criminal\";\namzn_assoc_default_category = \"All\";\namzn_assoc_linkid = \"a95a27ef6d122423f74bc2e28fe99e01\";\namzn_assoc_rows = \"2\";\n<\/script><br \/>\n<script src=\"\/\/z-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/widgets\/onejs?MarketPlace=US\"><\/script><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Good day all. I\u2019m always on the look out for criminals who are just to stupid to be allowed to live. Unfortunately, we can\u2019t just shoot them. The paperwork is horrendous. Still, stupid criminals do make it easier for everyone &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=27779\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3,6,135,71,204,115,219],"tags":[94,3,4,222,15,377,110,34],"class_list":["post-27779","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-crime","category-humor","category-just-desserts","category-news-of-the-day","category-second-amendment-2","category-stupidity-crime","category-the-good-idea-fairy","tag-chump-of-the-week","tag-crime","tag-entertainment","tag-good-idea-fairy","tag-incompetence","tag-maga","tag-scoamf","tag-stupidity"],"views":651,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":19941,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=19941","url_meta":{"origin":27779,"position":0},"title":"Criminals in search of Tacos","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"December 24, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. I'm slowly recovering, and I thought I would post this. It seems that a local taco restaurant in Las Vegas was broken into and robbed. Unbeknownst to the criminals, the security cameras were on and recorded everything.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Crime&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Crime","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"Stupid Criminal","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Stupid-Criminal-300x289.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":21857,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=21857","url_meta":{"origin":27779,"position":1},"title":"The Stupid Criminal of the week is&#8230;","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"July 27, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Not Hillary Clinton, (Unfortunately), but Ronnie Music Jr! Good day all. With all the politics and the continuing saga of the Clinton Crime Family, I\u2019ve been remiss in writing about those criminals who, since they aren\u2019t part of the Ruling Elite, actually get arrested.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Crime&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Crime","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"Stupid Criminal","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Stupid-Criminal-300x289.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":41094,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=41094","url_meta":{"origin":27779,"position":2},"title":"Chicago asks criminals, \u201cPlease shoot each other at night.\u201d","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"August 24, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. Crime in Chicago is out of control and getting worse. Criminals are blasting away at each other 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The problem with this is that criminals are generally really lousy shots and they keep hitting innocent bystanders. One community group has\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Just Desserts&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Just Desserts","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=135"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/BOHICA-300x240.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":25510,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=25510","url_meta":{"origin":27779,"position":3},"title":"Fried criminals to go please","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"January 12, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. The stupidity of criminals never ceases to amuse me. Whether it\u2019s getting stuck in a chimney or getting eaten by alligators, the ways the criminally stupid end their careers will always be entertaining, not to mention a savings for the taxpayers. This time we have two criminal\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Crime&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Crime","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Stupid-Criminal-300x289.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":18006,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=18006","url_meta":{"origin":27779,"position":4},"title":"And the stupid criminal of the week is&#8230;Levi Charles Reardon","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"May 6, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. It's been a hectic week for criminals. We have a pair of Jihadi wannabe's in Texas who ended up as the filling of a Bill of Rights sandwich, (The First Amendment and the Second Amendment), and then we have this idiot.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;News of the Day&quot;","block_context":{"text":"News of the Day","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=71"},"img":{"alt_text":"head_up_ass","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/head_up_ass-266x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":17240,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=17240","url_meta":{"origin":27779,"position":5},"title":"Brazilian prison guards thinking with their nuts","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"February 9, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. It must be tough being a prison guard in Brazil. You have all these women just throwing themselves at you over your manly manliness.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Crime&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Crime","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"double-facepalm","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/08\/double-facepalm-300x240.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27779","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=27779"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27779\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35990,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27779\/revisions\/35990"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=27779"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=27779"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=27779"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}