{"id":28738,"date":"2019-05-27T07:17:29","date_gmt":"2019-05-27T11:17:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=28738"},"modified":"2019-05-27T07:17:29","modified_gmt":"2019-05-27T11:17:29","slug":"criminal-shoots-his-own-nuts-off","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=28738","title":{"rendered":"Criminal shoots his own nuts off"},"content":{"rendered":"

Good day all. It\u2019s been a while since our last Criminal of the Week, and I\u2019ve found a beauty. Our winner also managed to win the Darwin Award as well, since children are no longer in his future.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

This criminal mastermind obviously never took a gun safety course, or ever heard of this wonderful invention called \u201cThe Holster.\u201d Here are the details of his complete lack of competence in anything from Fox News<\/b><\/a>:<\/p>\n

A bungling felon from <\/b>Washington <\/b><\/a>state made a series of blunders when he shot himself in the testicles and tried to hide the weapon \u2014 all while storing drugs in his anus, a report said Wednesday. <\/b><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Cameron Jeffrey Wilson, 27, was carrying a pistol in his front pocket while in his Cashmere, Wash., apartment on April 5 when the firearm accidentally discharged and pierced his groin and thigh, according to the Wenatchee World News<\/a>. <\/b><\/p>\n

I\u2019m still trying to figure out how no nuts managed to do this. All I can think of is this pistol didn\u2019t have an external safety, or he hadn\u2019t set it and managed to pull the trigger in some way. Oh, by the way, his genius level planning didn\u2019t stop with this.<\/p>\n

When the ex-con finally went to the hospital, a balloon of marijuana slipped out of his anus while a doctor was operating on the gunshot wound, court records show. <\/b><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

This prize winning idiot apparently thought that he should get rid of the gun, since he really wasn\u2019t supposed to have it.<\/p>\n

Wilson, who is a 13-time convicted felon, told his girlfriend to dispose of the weapon before heading to the hospital, the paper said. <\/b><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Because, of course, no doctor anywhere would recognize a gunshot wound.<\/p>\n

Cops also arrived at the hospital when alerted of the gunshot wound and searched Wilson\u2019s car where they discovered a bag of meth in the blood-stained jeans he was wearing when he shot himself. <\/b><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

So El Stupido not only forgot to crap out the balloon full of pot, he didn\u2019t bother getting rid of the meth he had in his pants? Did he shoot himself in the brain as well as the balls?<\/p>\n

The officers issued an arrest warrant for Wilson and he turned himself in to police on April 18.<\/b><\/p>\n

He probably couldn\u2019t run with the bullethole in his leg, and thought it might help if he \u201cDid the right thing and turned himself in\u201d when he throws himself on the mercy of the court. However, as we all know, stupidity knows no bounds as amply demonstrated by this walking advertisement for retroactive abortion for eugenics purposes.<\/p>\n

As he was being processed at the Chelan County Regional Justice Center, Wilson was strip-searched and another balloon of marijuana slipped from his anus, the paper said. <\/b><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Wilson continued demonstrating his brilliance when he called his girlfriend. (Who, let\u2019s be honest, is probably dumber then Wilson is)<\/p>\n

While in jail, Wilson made a number of calls to his girlfriend and asked her not to cooperate with investigators working on his case. Authorities were listening in on the calls. <\/b><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

The convicted felon was charged with possession of a firearm, unlawful possession of meth, possession of a controlled substance in a correctional facility, and four counts of tampering with a witness.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And I have no doubt that his girlfriend will be happy to provide conjugal visits and be there when he gets out in 15 or so years. No, actually I don\u2019t. I have no doubt that if she isn\u2019t charged with anything, she\u2019s going to move on to the next dumb as a stump criminal. Congratulations to Cameron Wilson, our Stupid Criminal of the Week.<\/p>\n

Thatisall<\/p>\n\"1\"2\"3\"4\"5 (4<\/strong> votes, average: 4.75<\/strong> out of 5)
<\/span><\/span>Loading...<\/span>\n

~The Angry Webmaster~<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Good day all. It\u2019s been a while since our last Criminal of the Week, and I\u2019ve found a beauty. Our winner also managed to win the Darwin Award as well, since children are no longer in his future.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3,4,135,71,204,115,219],"tags":[94,3,515,222,15,101,110,34],"class_list":["post-28738","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-crime","category-entertainment","category-just-desserts","category-news-of-the-day","category-second-amendment-2","category-stupidity-crime","category-the-good-idea-fairy","tag-chump-of-the-week","tag-crime","tag-darwin-award","tag-good-idea-fairy","tag-incompetence","tag-news","tag-scoamf","tag-stupidity"],"views":554,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":25877,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=25877","url_meta":{"origin":28738,"position":0},"title":"How not to impress a judge","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"March 10, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. It\u2019s time for another entry in the \u201cStupid Criminal of the Week!\u201d awards. This time, the criminal mastermind didn\u2019t manage to get himself killed in an interesting way. No, this one decided to show why he should be locked up and the key recycled into razor blades.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Crime"","block_context":{"text":"Crime","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Stupid-Criminal-300x289.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":29326,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=29326","url_meta":{"origin":28738,"position":1},"title":"Stupid Criminal of the month!","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"August 30, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. Usually, I will post a story regarding a complete idiot who commits a crime and either gets caught or killed in an incredibly stupid manner. I call this the Stupid Criminal of the week. However, once in a while, I find one who manages to be stupid\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Crime"","block_context":{"text":"Crime","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Stupid-Criminal-300x289.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":18021,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=18021","url_meta":{"origin":28738,"position":2},"title":"And now we have the Stupid Criminal of the Month!","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"May 7, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. Recently I posted a \u201cStupid Criminal of the Week article regarding one blithering idiot, Levi Charles Reardon. I didn't expect to top that one as quickly as this, but now we have another idiot, and this one makes it to the Criminal of the Month!","rel":"","context":"In "Crime"","block_context":{"text":"Crime","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"JW-Life's tough","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/JW-Lifes-tough-300x169.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":19276,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=19276","url_meta":{"origin":28738,"position":3},"title":"The Stupid Criminal of the week? Dashawn Terrell Cochran!","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"October 11, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all, we have a winner in the category of \u201cThe Stupid Criminal of the Week\u201d category. This losers name is Dashawn Terrell Cochran. What makes Dashawn Terrell Cochran a stupid criminal, besides committing a crime? You are going to love this. When Dashawn went to make his escape,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Crime"","block_context":{"text":"Crime","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"The-Good-Idea-Fairy-3","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/The-Good-Idea-Fairy-3-268x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":15703,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=15703","url_meta":{"origin":28738,"position":4},"title":"And the dumbest criminals of the week are…","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"August 16, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Marcus Kalani Watson and Rogussia Eddie Allen Danielson! Let\u2019s hear it for these to disgraces to the gene pool! These two criminal masterminds, now residing in a comfortable jail are just the sort of criminals law enforcement desires. Dumb and dumber.","rel":"","context":"In "Crime"","block_context":{"text":"Crime","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"The-Good-Idea-Fairy-3","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/The-Good-Idea-Fairy-3-268x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":20503,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=20503","url_meta":{"origin":28738,"position":5},"title":"The Great Rogaine Caper","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"February 26, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. It\u2019s been a while since I\u2019ve done a \u201cStupid Criminal of the Week!\u201d post. Yesterday I came across this beauty out of Ohio. Someone has been robbing pharmacy\u2019s of late.","rel":"","context":"In "Crime"","block_context":{"text":"Crime","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"Stupid Criminal","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/Stupid-Criminal-300x289.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28738","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=28738"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28738\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":28741,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28738\/revisions\/28741"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=28738"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=28738"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=28738"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}