{"id":32936,"date":"2020-11-17T05:59:35","date_gmt":"2020-11-17T10:59:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=32936"},"modified":"2020-11-17T05:59:35","modified_gmt":"2020-11-17T10:59:35","slug":"the-coffee-maker-is-broken","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=32936","title":{"rendered":"The coffee maker is broken"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>There is no coffee. The coffee maker is broken. It has failed to produce the nectar of the Gods, that which allows my eyes to open, banishes Morpheus and causes me to be functional. It functions no more. It has ceased to be.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/Coffeemaker_gone.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-7912\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/Coffeemaker_gone-300x200.jpg?resize=300%2C200\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/Coffeemaker_gone.jpg?resize=300%2C200&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/Coffeemaker_gone.jpg?resize=150%2C100&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/Coffeemaker_gone.jpg?resize=400%2C266&amp;ssl=1 400w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/Coffeemaker_gone.jpg?w=842&amp;ssl=1 842w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>There is no coffee.<\/p>\n<p>There is no coffee.<\/p>\n<p>I hate you all<\/p>\n<span id=\"post-ratings-32936\" class=\"post-ratings\" data-nonce=\"9bee7f9a95\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" id=\"rating_32936_1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/plugins\/wp-postratings\/images\/stars_crystal\/rating_on.gif?w=640&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"1 Star\" title=\"1 Star\" onmouseover=\"current_rating(32936, 1, '1 Star');\" onmouseout=\"ratings_off(3.7, 4, 0);\" onclick=\"rate_post();\" onkeypress=\"rate_post();\" style=\"cursor: pointer; border: 0px;\" \/><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" id=\"rating_32936_2\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/plugins\/wp-postratings\/images\/stars_crystal\/rating_on.gif?w=640&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"2 Stars\" title=\"2 Stars\" onmouseover=\"current_rating(32936, 2, '2 Stars');\" onmouseout=\"ratings_off(3.7, 4, 0);\" onclick=\"rate_post();\" onkeypress=\"rate_post();\" style=\"cursor: pointer; border: 0px;\" \/><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" id=\"rating_32936_3\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/plugins\/wp-postratings\/images\/stars_crystal\/rating_on.gif?w=640&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"3 Stars\" title=\"3 Stars\" onmouseover=\"current_rating(32936, 3, '3 Stars');\" onmouseout=\"ratings_off(3.7, 4, 0);\" onclick=\"rate_post();\" onkeypress=\"rate_post();\" style=\"cursor: pointer; border: 0px;\" \/><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" id=\"rating_32936_4\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/plugins\/wp-postratings\/images\/stars_crystal\/rating_half.gif?w=640&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"4 Stars\" title=\"4 Stars\" onmouseover=\"current_rating(32936, 4, '4 Stars');\" onmouseout=\"ratings_off(3.7, 4, 0);\" onclick=\"rate_post();\" onkeypress=\"rate_post();\" style=\"cursor: pointer; border: 0px;\" \/><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" id=\"rating_32936_5\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/plugins\/wp-postratings\/images\/stars_crystal\/rating_off.gif?w=640&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"5 Stars\" title=\"5 Stars\" onmouseover=\"current_rating(32936, 5, '5 Stars');\" onmouseout=\"ratings_off(3.7, 4, 0);\" onclick=\"rate_post();\" onkeypress=\"rate_post();\" style=\"cursor: pointer; border: 0px;\" \/> (<strong>3<\/strong> votes, average: <strong>3.67<\/strong> out of 5)<br \/><span class=\"post-ratings-text\" id=\"ratings_32936_text\"><\/span><\/span><span id=\"post-ratings-32936-loading\" class=\"post-ratings-loading\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/plugins\/wp-postratings\/images\/loading.gif?resize=16%2C16&#038;ssl=1\" width=\"16\" height=\"16\" class=\"post-ratings-image\" \/>Loading...<\/span>\n<p><i><b>~The Angry Webmaster~<\/b><\/i><\/p>\n<p><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\namzn_assoc_placement = \"adunit0\";\namzn_assoc_search_bar = \"true\";\namzn_assoc_tracking_id = \"angersentral\";\namzn_assoc_search_bar_position = \"bottom\";\namzn_assoc_ad_mode = \"search\";\namzn_assoc_ad_type = \"smart\";\namzn_assoc_marketplace = \"amazon\";\namzn_assoc_region = \"US\";\namzn_assoc_title = \"Shop Related Products\";\namzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = \"coffee maker\";\namzn_assoc_default_category = \"All\";\namzn_assoc_linkid = \"8a4ee586683cbc73b2cd769aac465f21\";\namzn_assoc_rows = \"2\";\n<\/script><br \/>\n<script src=\"\/\/z-na.amazon-adsystem.com\/widgets\/onejs?MarketPlace=US\"><\/script><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There is no coffee. The coffee maker is broken. It has failed to produce the nectar of the Gods, that which allows my eyes to open, banishes Morpheus and causes me to be functional. It functions no more. It has &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=32936\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[8],"tags":[3,125,110,57],"class_list":["post-32936","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-politics","tag-crime","tag-epic-fail","tag-scoamf","tag-technology"],"views":405,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":43856,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=43856","url_meta":{"origin":32936,"position":0},"title":"Happiness is a brand new coffee maker","author":"Angry Systems Administrator","date":"November 2, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Hello everyone, this is the now happily caffeinated Angry Systems Administrator. About a week ago I posted an update on the worst disaster of all time, the Anger Central Coffee Maker had broken. I was able to take care of my caffeine requirements in the short term, but a replacement\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Economy&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Economy","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=176"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.pinimg.com\/736x\/80\/55\/44\/805544ec6a35ca6e864468f554cbf7b6.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":46816,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=46816","url_meta":{"origin":32936,"position":1},"title":"If it\u2019s a day ending in a \u201cY\u201d then it\u2019s time to talk about coffee","author":"Angry Systems Administrator","date":"April 3, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Hello everyone, this is the well caffeinated Angry Systems Administrator, posting from the darkened floor of the Anger Central Data Center. In case you didn\u2019t figure it out from the title, I\u2019m writing about things involving coffee, such as upgrading my preferences in percolators. In my last post on this\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;General&quot;","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=32"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.pinimg.com\/736x\/03\/1e\/df\/031edf3a9af627a5864f66aeb5acdaee.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":45953,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=45953","url_meta":{"origin":32936,"position":2},"title":"To perk or not to perk, That is the coffeesque question","author":"Angry Systems Administrator","date":"November 7, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Greetings good people, this is the Angry Systems Administrator. I\u2019ve been keeping a low profile of late, slaving away in the Anger Central Data Center. Recently, as I was pouring my 5th cup of coffee for the morning, I had a thought. Would coffee from an old school percolator be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;General&quot;","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=32"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.pinimg.com\/736x\/03\/1e\/df\/031edf3a9af627a5864f66aeb5acdaee.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":43798,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=43798","url_meta":{"origin":32936,"position":3},"title":"OMG!! This is horrible! It\u2019s the end of everything!!","author":"Angry Systems Administrator","date":"October 20, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Hello, this is the Angry and caffeine starved Systems Administrator. Yes, you read that correctly. Caffeine starved. The Anger Central coffee maker has suffered a fatal injury. It has been mortally wounded. It will not be down for breakfast. What horror has befallen that must important of systems in the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Hero&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Hero","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=181"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/Coffeemaker_gone-300x200.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":276,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=276","url_meta":{"origin":32936,"position":4},"title":"*Grumble* Damn coffee machine!","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"July 26, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"I have a coffee machine with a timer on it. I set it up the night before and fresh coffee awaits me when I awake. It doesn't work to well when I forget to put the damn POT into the machine! :P","rel":"","context":"In &quot;General&quot;","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=32"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":39646,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=39646","url_meta":{"origin":32936,"position":5},"title":"First they came for your cars, then your stoves, now they want your coffee!","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"January 27, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"Good day all. I am sitting here, just starting on my second cup of coffee when I saw that the fanatics from the Church of Global Warming and Climate Change has released yet another study designed to enslave the average person under the yoke of the Ruling Elites. What, pray\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Global Warming&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Global Warming","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=43"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/snob_che_frame-215x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32936","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=32936"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32936\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":32937,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32936\/revisions\/32937"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=32936"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=32936"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=32936"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}