{"id":413,"date":"2009-08-22T19:56:33","date_gmt":"2009-08-22T19:56:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=413"},"modified":"2009-08-22T19:57:13","modified_gmt":"2009-08-22T19:57:13","slug":"obamas-new-cash-for-codgers-program","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=413","title":{"rendered":"Obama’s new “Cash for Codgers” program"},"content":{"rendered":"

Democrats, realizing the success of the President\u2019s \u201cCash For Clunkers\u201d rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan.<\/p>\n

President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named \u201cCASH FOR CODGERS\u201d and it works like this\u2026<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u201cCouples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person. The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription-dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts.<\/p>\n

Special \u201cBonuses\u201d will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their government-prescribed weight, and any member of the Republican Party.<\/p>\n

Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, dairy products, bacon, Brussels sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies.<\/p>\n

All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to keep other codgers in repair.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

H\/T to Patterico’s Pontifications<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Democrats, realizing the success of the President\u2019s \u201cCash For Clunkers\u201d rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[32,6,7],"tags":[6,7,18,34],"class_list":["post-413","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","category-humor","category-medicine","tag-humor","tag-medicine","tag-obama","tag-stupidity"],"views":1685,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":321,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=321","url_meta":{"origin":413,"position":0},"title":"Obama: Goal Is to Eliminate Private Health Insurance","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"August 10, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"In his own words, Obama states he wants to eliminate Private health insurance.","rel":"","context":"In "medicine"","block_context":{"text":"medicine","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5248,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=5248","url_meta":{"origin":413,"position":1},"title":"Obama and the CLASS Act","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"October 17, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Good evening all. Angry Webmaster here. Last week the first tissue paper wall in Obamacare was torn open and the Obama Administration gave up on the CLASS Act. There is one small problem though. No one told Obama.","rel":"","context":"In "medicine"","block_context":{"text":"medicine","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":18181,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=18181","url_meta":{"origin":413,"position":2},"title":"Health insurance costs to jump massively","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"June 3, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"In the \u201cwater is wet\u201d and \u201cit's dark at night\u201d category comes news that health insurance premiums under Obamacare are about to skyrocket. Remember when we had the freedom to choose what types of health insurance we would buy, or not buy? Good times, good times. Then came the Age\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Economy"","block_context":{"text":"Economy","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=176"},"img":{"alt_text":"rationing","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/rationing.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":13322,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=13322","url_meta":{"origin":413,"position":3},"title":"Doctors won\u2019t take Medicaid? No Problem!","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"November 4, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"One of the disasters now coming to the front with Obama 404Care is a shortage of doctors who will take Medicade and Medicare patients. Because the compensation rates are so low, more and more doctors are refusing to take anyone who is on either Medicare or Medicade. Thanks to Obama\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "medicine"","block_context":{"text":"medicine","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"computerskeleton","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/computerskeleton.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":10199,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=10199","url_meta":{"origin":413,"position":4},"title":"About those Obamacare savings?","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"December 13, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Never mind, they won\u2019t be happening. In fact, your insurance rates are going to skyrocket as much as 100%. Already companies are looking to increase rates thanks to Obamacare\u2019s mandates.","rel":"","context":"In "liberty"","block_context":{"text":"liberty","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=37"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/600026_560399050642360_1124628221_n.jpg?fit=634%2C600&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/600026_560399050642360_1124628221_n.jpg?fit=634%2C600&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/600026_560399050642360_1124628221_n.jpg?fit=634%2C600&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":12702,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=12702","url_meta":{"origin":413,"position":5},"title":"Congress fixes Obamacare issues","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"August 6, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"For itself, not for the rest of the serfs and peons out here in flyover country. 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