{"id":7911,"date":"2012-06-03T08:25:48","date_gmt":"2012-06-03T12:25:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=7911"},"modified":"2014-06-09T16:36:45","modified_gmt":"2014-06-09T20:36:45","slug":"oh-my-god-noooooo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=7911","title":{"rendered":"Oh My GOD NOOOOOO!!!"},"content":{"rendered":"

I just arrived at the datacenter. The coffee machine. It isn’t working. It has water, fresh coffee but the machine will NOT START!!! *shudder*<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I carefully looked at the machine, I tested the “On” button. the machine just clicked and LAUGHED AT ME!!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I am\u00a0weakened, like Sampson after Delilah gave him a buzz cut.\u00a0\u00a0I am not able to function!<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I MUST HAVE COFFEE!<\/p>\n

[youtube]http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=6qdVL54y_ok[\/youtube]<\/p>\n

No, I don’t have any hot water!! That won’t work!! What will I do?????<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I CAN’T DO THIS!! I have CLOGGED SINUSES!!! AAAARRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!<\/p>\n

Kill me please? I can’t go through the day with NO COFFEE! I DEMAND COFFEE! It is my right! It says so in the constitution!<\/p>\n

~The noisily dying a slow and horrifying death Systems Administrator~<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\"1\"2\"3\"4\"5 (4<\/strong> votes, average: 2.50<\/strong> out of 5)
<\/span><\/span>Loading...<\/span>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I just arrived at the datacenter. The coffee machine. It isn’t working. It has water, fresh coffee but the machine will NOT START!!! *shudder* Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[32,6,7,71,57],"tags":[40,6,57],"class_list":["post-7911","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","category-humor","category-medicine","category-news-of-the-day","category-technology","tag-general-housekeeping","tag-humor","tag-technology"],"views":1873,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":276,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=276","url_meta":{"origin":7911,"position":0},"title":"*Grumble* Damn coffee machine!","author":"Angry Webmaster","date":"July 26, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"I have a coffee machine with a timer on it. I set it up the night before and fresh coffee awaits me when I awake. It doesn't work to well when I forget to put the damn POT into the machine! :P","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=32"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":46300,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=46300","url_meta":{"origin":7911,"position":1},"title":"To Perk or not to Perk, a follow up to the ultimate coffee question","author":"Angry Systems Administrator","date":"January 10, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Greetings good people, this is the Angry Systems Administrator coming to you from the darkened caverns of the Anger Central Data center. Back in November, I wrote up a post on the purchase of an old fashioned percolator. I thought that now was the time to provide an update. I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Economy"","block_context":{"text":"Economy","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=176"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.pinimg.com\/736x\/03\/1e\/df\/031edf3a9af627a5864f66aeb5acdaee.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":43856,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=43856","url_meta":{"origin":7911,"position":2},"title":"Happiness is a brand new coffee maker","author":"Angry Systems Administrator","date":"November 2, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Hello everyone, this is the now happily caffeinated Angry Systems Administrator. About a week ago I posted an update on the worst disaster of all time, the Anger Central Coffee Maker had broken. I was able to take care of my caffeine requirements in the short term, but a replacement\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Economy"","block_context":{"text":"Economy","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=176"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.pinimg.com\/736x\/80\/55\/44\/805544ec6a35ca6e864468f554cbf7b6.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":45953,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=45953","url_meta":{"origin":7911,"position":3},"title":"To perk or not to perk, That is the coffeesque question","author":"Angry Systems Administrator","date":"November 7, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Greetings good people, this is the Angry Systems Administrator. I\u2019ve been keeping a low profile of late, slaving away in the Anger Central Data Center. Recently, as I was pouring my 5th cup of coffee for the morning, I had a thought. Would coffee from an old school percolator be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=32"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.pinimg.com\/736x\/03\/1e\/df\/031edf3a9af627a5864f66aeb5acdaee.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":46816,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=46816","url_meta":{"origin":7911,"position":4},"title":"If it\u2019s a day ending in a \u201cY\u201d then it\u2019s time to talk about coffee","author":"Angry Systems Administrator","date":"April 3, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Hello everyone, this is the well caffeinated Angry Systems Administrator, posting from the darkened floor of the Anger Central Data Center. In case you didn\u2019t figure it out from the title, I\u2019m writing about things involving coffee, such as upgrading my preferences in percolators. In my last post on this\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=32"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/i.pinimg.com\/736x\/03\/1e\/df\/031edf3a9af627a5864f66aeb5acdaee.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":43798,"url":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?p=43798","url_meta":{"origin":7911,"position":5},"title":"OMG!! This is horrible! It\u2019s the end of everything!!","author":"Angry Systems Administrator","date":"October 20, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Hello, this is the Angry and caffeine starved Systems Administrator. Yes, you read that correctly. Caffeine starved. The Anger Central coffee maker has suffered a fatal injury. It has been mortally wounded. It will not be down for breakfast. What horror has befallen that must important of systems in the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Hero"","block_context":{"text":"Hero","link":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/?cat=181"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/angry.net\/blog2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/Coffeemaker_gone-300x200.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7911","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7911"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7911\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":15162,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7911\/revisions\/15162"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7911"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7911"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/angry.net\/blog2\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7911"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}