The Apocalypse, Day 3

We’re in the middle of Day Three of the Apocalypse and so far, the only zombies that have been spotted are furloughed Federal Workers. At this time, they are just milling about, looking for free coffee and donuts.

Currently, our brave leaders are working tirelessly to save us. Why our Dear Leader, President Obama is at this moment in deep talks with the Republican leadership…Correction, we now have it on good authority that President Obama has once again fled the Capitol. Current information has him hiding out in Rockville, Maryland where he is ranting and raving about how the Republicans are at fault for not doing what Il Douche is commanding them to do.

We have also been given information on the brave forces of the National Park Service being overrun by hordes of octogenarian veterans of World War 2. The Essential Park Service Employees, acting under direct orders of Barack Obama, blocked off the World War 2 Memorial as a cost cutting measure. Irate veterans broke through the defenses using heavily unarmored and unarmed wheelchairs and walkers, forcing the loyal forces of the National Park Service to fall back and regroup. Reports from Reichsmarschall Harry Reid state that these criminals will be dealt with and that reinforcements will be deployed to counterattack and drive back the veterans.

Nationally, there have been no reports of Zombies, plagues, locusts or massive earthquakes. Most people are going about their business as usual, and apparently are unaware that the Apocalypse has occurred. The National Propaganda Bureau, nicknamed the “Obama Steno Pool” is endeavoring to inform the masses that the world has ended and that sick children are being sacrificed by the “Evil Republicans.”

There will be further reports on “THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!” as new information becomes available.

Thatisall

~The Angry Webmaster~

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