Seven kinds of criminal stupidity

Good day all. We are in the process of winding up 2013 and lo and behold, we have some blithering idiots shooting up Washington DC just down the street from the White House.

Now the only reason the perpetrators weren’t blasted into the next century is only due to the fact that the Obama’s are inflicting their presence on Hawaii. Since they aren’t there, the Secret Service and assorted police forces aren’t as trigger happy as usual. Here are the details as of this moment from the Daily Caller:

Businesses near the White House were riddled with bullets in a two-block drive-by shooting this weekend, prompting a Secret Service investigation.

Well I should HOPE they are investigating. I’m assuming the only reason they aren’t carting the bullet riddled remains away is due to the aforementioned fact that King Putt and his court are not in residence.

The Caribou Coffee at the corner of 17th and Pennsylvania, right across the street from the White House — and normally, a large Secret Service presence — has a wall-length window boarded up. An employee inside Caribou confirmed that a shooting took out the store’s window.

Oh Boy! Now they gone and done it!! These morons shot up the local Secret Service coffee shop! Gitmo ((Guantanamo Bay detention camp)), here you come!

White House staffers have reportedly held meetings at that particular Caribou Coffee to avoid having to record their interactions in White House visitor logs.

Gee, now I’m wondering about the motive for this shooting.

A Secret Service agent investigating the matter Monday told Mark Perlman, the manager of Brewood Engraving, that the incident appears to have been a two-block shooting. No motive is known at this time. The Secret Service does not know how many suspects may have been involved, but believes that the shooters were in a car and were not targeting any specific business.

Accusations by The Obama Department of Propaganda declaring this to be the fault of the Tea Party, Conservatives, Rush Limbaugh and the entire staff of Fox News in 5…4…3..2..1…

A spokesman for the Metropolitan Police Department said 6 properties were damaged by the early morning gunshots and that Secret Service is on the scene.

“Well, on Saturday morning about 2:30, there was a car running down the street and somebody was shooting with a nine-millimeter handgun,” the Brewood Engravers manager told TheDC, relaying his conversation with the Secret Service investigator.” Two bullets hit our window. They hit Caribou Coffee. So they were shooting for about two blocks down Pennsylvania Ave.”

“They’re hoping to get video and hopefully see who perpetrated the crime…No products hit. Just the walls and the window,” Perlman said.

So, this crime happened at 2:30am. This explains why no one saw anything and why no one was hit. It sounds to me like some drunken cops or federal agents. After all, it is well known that ONLY police and federal agents are allowed guns in Washington DC. It can’t be just a regular person now, can it? The Washington city government has decreed that the Constitution does not apply inside the city limits so there is no way a regular person could have done this since they aren’t allowed to have a gun, right?

Now for some reality. While I don’t doubt it was some drunken or stoned morons doing this, I will wager that when, not if they caught, they will find out that they weren’t obeying the ridiculous and blatantly unconstitutional laws in Washington, and that they probably already had a police record and wouldn’t have been allowed to own a gun in the first place, no matter where they lived. I won’t be surprised either if these coked up clowns are also of recent African decent, are aspiring rap artists, have never done an honest days work in their lives, don’t have a clue who their daddy is and have knocked up several girls each, all of whom are on welfare.

These pinheads are lucky that it was the middle of the night and that Der Fubar was out of town. Otherwise they would have been cleaning up their remains with a sponge after their car had been blown apart by an anti-tank missile. I was kidding a bit when I said they were going to win an all expense paid trip to the CIA black site prison of their choice, but they are going to be doing some major league prison time once they are caught. One thing the Secret Service is known for is not taking things like morons shooting up the area near the White House lightly.

I’m quite sure that the soon to be convicted dimwits will throw themselves on the mercy of the court. And I also have no doubt the judge will simply reply “Sorry, fresh out of mercy. Take them away!”

Thatisall

~The Angry Webmaster~

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