Review: The Kingsman: The Secret Service

Good day all, This is the Angry Systems Administrator. I hope you’re enjoying the snow. The Angry Webmaster isn’t, especially since I dumped a few feet on him “By accident” the other day. In any case, I went and saw the new movie, The Kingsman: The Secret Service last night.

I didn’t let a little thing like more snow stop me. (Four Wheel Drive, when used properly, is your friend) I was determined to see the movie and I did. I can safely say it was worth the risk. As always, there will be spoilers. Leave now or suffer the consequences. Still here? Good.

The story revolves around a secret intelligence agency called the Kingsmen. It opens when one of the agents is killed during a raid in 1997. The agent in charge, Harry Hart, delivers the bad news to the dead agents family and leaves them with a medal for bravery and a code to use of they ever need help. 17 years later, the son of the dead agent, Eggsy, gets into a spot of trouble and calls the number on the medal and gives the code phrase.

Eggsy is released and as he walks out of the police station meets Harry Hart. Harry recruits him into the Secret Service and a fair portion of the movie is Eggsy and the other recruits going through training. The training is very tough and only one will be selected to be a Kingsman. The rest are sent home. Eggsy develops a friendship with another recruit, a young woman named Roxy.

One by one the recruits are weeded out and sent home, eventually leaving only Eggsy and Roxy. Their final test is to kill the dogs they have been assigned during training. Roxy was able to pull the trigger, but Eggsy couldn’t and was sent home, much to Harry’s disappointment. Roxy is then made a Kingsman.

While all this is going on, Harry is investigating an internet billionaire, Richmond Valentine, (Played by Samuel L. Jackson) Valentine is a firm believer in human caused global warming and has decided to do something about it. His plan is to kill most of the human race, with the exception of a chosen few. He plans to do this using a signal sent out over cell phones using a free SIM card that he is giving away.

Harry, who has been investigating Valentine, follows a lead to a church in the United States. Unbeknownst to him, Valentine plans on using the church, who’s members are right out of the Westboro Church, as a testing ground for his plan. All the members phones start sending out a signal and begin killing each other. Even Harry is affected and he ends up killing most of the members. When he recovers, he leaves the church and is confronted by Valentine who then kills him.

Eggsy, who was watching this in Harry’s flat, goes to the Kingsmen headquarters to get back in. He meets with “Arthur” the head of the Kingsmen. He discovers that Arthur is part of Valentine’s plan. Arthur asks Eggsy to join them, but he refuses. Arthur then tells him that he will now die due to the poison he has just drunk, (A toast to Harry). Suddenly Arthur starts gasping and Eggsy tells him he had switched the drinks once he realized that Arthur was working with Valentine. Eggsy joins up with Roxy and their training officer, Merlin, who then proceed to Valentine’s secret lair to stop him from killing off the human race.

Now that’s it for the basic plot. If you want to know more, you are going to need to see this movie. I found it fun to watch, with terrific action sequences. Samuel Jackson played his character with a very heavy lisp, (which I’m still chuckling over. I keep picturing him as Director Fury in the Avengers and using that lisp), and was happily going over the top with the role. Harry Hart, played by Colin Firth, was just the opposite. He acted in a calm manner, being the perfect gentleman right up until he killed you.

The action sequences were completely over the top of course, but they just worked. Sofia Boutella, who played Gazelle, a double amputee who wore special “blade” prosthetic legs with blades built in was magnificent in her sequences, slicing and dicing in a fine evil manner. (FYI, the prosthetics were done with CGI I think. Ms. Boutella is not an amputee, but is a dancer)

Throughout the film, I felt that the producers had decided to go after the Global Warming and progressive elites. I would say that political correctness was not high on the agenda here, and that making fun of the people who think that global warming is real is going to hit the mark. Exploding the head off Barack Obama, (Even if you don’t see his face, it’s implied), is going to really tork off the Obama sycophants. For the rest of us, we’re just going to smile and enjoy the show. The timing of the release of the movie couldn’t be better, right in the middle of the worst snow season in living memory.

Last week I saw Jupiter Ascending and said it was the best film I had seen this year. (And at the time, the only film) I now put Kingsman: The Secret Service above Jupiter Ascending. Go see the movie, I don’t think you will be disappointed.

Thank you

~The Angry Systems Administrator~

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