Good day all. Overnight, news came out that North Korea had announced that they had detonated a Hydrogen bomb. However, there have been a number of people saying “Whoa thar pardner! That don’t look like any H-bomb I’ve ever seen!”
The reason people are skeptical is that the underground blast was only about 7 kilotons. If a thermonuclear device is detonated, it’s going to be a lot bigger than that, if it works. Here are some of the details from Fox News:
The world reacted with outrage and skepticism Wednesday after North Korea claimed that it had successfully tested a “miniaturized” hydrogen bomb. The announcement, which could not immediately be confirmed by outside sources, was made by a state television anchor who read a typically propaganda-heavy statement calling the test a “perfect success” that elevated the country’s “nuclear might to the next level” and provided it with a weapon to defend itself against the United States and other enemies.
As I recall, North Korea has done three tests, including this one. The first one was a failure and generated a yield of about 500 tons of TNT. This is called a “fizzle” and means the bomb didn’t go boom. The next one did go boom and was about 8KT as I recall. This one wasn’t even that big.
South Korean lawmaker Lee Cheol Woo told the Associated Press that the country’s National Intelligence Service had expressed in a private briefing that they believed North Korea had tested an atomic bomb, not a hydrogen bomb.
According to Lee, intelligence officials said that an estimated explosive yield of six kilotons and a magnitude-4.8 earthquake were detected Wednesday, a smaller blast than the estimated explosive yield of 7.9 kilotons and magnitude-4.9 quake that were reported after a February 2013 nuclear test by North Korea, and only a fraction of a typical successful hydrogen bomb test’s explosive yield of hundreds of kilotons.
It doesn’t surprise me that North Korea’s dictator, Kim Jung-un, or as he is more commonly known, Bucket Head, would claim they had an H-bomb. However, I’ve been advised by confidential sources that the so called “Nuclear Test” was actually something else. What actually happened was Bucket Head got a bad batch of Kimchee and had the worst case of gastric distress seen in a very long time.
Thanks to my confidential sources, I have acquired a video of Bucket Head as he released the results of his distress.
[youtuber youtube=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UEM541IenE’]
Obviously, we had to make a few changes in order to protect our sources. This is why it sounds like there are Americans talking in the background and that Kim Jung-un appears to be a hippo. We had to make these changes for several reasons. First, Bucket Head’s backside really is a disgusting sight. I will spare you the details, but suffice to say, that toilet paper has never come in contact with that fat ass.
The second reason we altered the footage a bit was to protect the people who filmed Kim Jung-un’s rather explosive flatulence. What we didn’t alter was the multi-kiloton blast that came out of Bucket Head’s ass. That was unaltered and you experienced it, without the attending…”aroma.” We don’t have to worry about a nuclear attack from North Korea, but a few more meals of bad kimchee, and South Korea might be overwhelmed by the noxious fumes.
Thatisall
~The Angry Webmaster~
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