A Certain Southern Grocery Store Chain

I am so damn angry for the following extremely valid reasons:

In the town where I live, we have these grocery stores which are the worst possible grocery stores in the whole entire history of the world. And, in case you think that's hyperbole, I've studied up on the history of grocery stores, so I know what I'm talking about. I mean, I'll admit, there have been some bad stores down the ages. I once went to a Big Star in Vidalia, MS, that was like shopping in the outer circle of Hades. And, in high school, I worked at a Kroger in Memphis that was staffed mostly by mental defectives and chronic booger eaters. But, the chain I'm angry about these days is the worst ever, by far.

I won't name the store, 'cause I don't want anybody to get sued, even though every single complaint I have is true. I will, however, give you a big fat hint, if you need it. The so-called "head" of this evil chain is a butt-hole who gives giant piles of money to extreme right-wing causes and candidates. Plus he's a terrible photographer (I know this 'cause I once saw an alleged "show" of his pictures at an otherwise legit gallery; guess it's true that the rich can just buy legitimacy when they can't achieve it otherwise). That's enough for googling, if you feel the urge. Although, I bet that if you're from the southwest, you'll know exactly which huge company I'm talking about.

Anyway, these stores are always dirty, disorganized, underlit and understocked. The employees are always cretins, boobs, morons and fools. The produce always looks like it's been grossly abused by a serial molester. The meat always has a yucky greenish hue, a color that might look nice on faux-Vulcan girls at sci-fi conventions, but looks kind of disgusting on a lump of mysteryburger. The milk is always about a half hour away from turning into sour-smelling sludge. The deli counters are always like tenements for gnats and flies and palmetto bugs. The pharmacists are always these ancient old farts who don't know a cream from a salve, and are extra rude to you when you try to explain that you wanted your pills inside a bottle, not dumped into a baggie. And, you know how annoying it is to get the grocery cart with one unsteerable wheel? Well, at this place, all the wheels on all the carts are warped or jammed or bent, so that you can't ever maneuver them down any aisle for purpose, except if your purpose is to thoroughly upset yourself into a coronary episode.

Worst of all, the customer service people are usually about as bright as the glow seen from a cigarette lighter seen from about ten miles away. If you need to deal with them for anything, they treat you like you're something a sick dog deposited on a muddy country road. It makes me very very angry. Especially when it's my money that's going into their till. The knuckleheads. Anyhow, I guess that'll do it for now. I'm tired and have to go lay down.

Publix Nashville TN 2

Working for this whole story is such of a brain washing and complete lies. In orientation they make you feel like it is the greatest job in the world, and that you will be treated with respect if you work hard what a bunch of garbage.

I come to work on time , help the customer, etc everything your supposed to do in the business of retail, and the employees who do nothing are given more slack than me. Sharon is nothing more than power mad crazy woman who does not show appreciation for your work but will find everything you did wrong (sorry but i am not god). One day my car broke down and she knowing i was off the clock, (just throwing weight around) asked me if i was on the clock. It did not matter to her my car was stuck in a left turning lane due to mechanical problems.

As for the new dizty woman chris, its the same drama. i work hard all day, but all she does is find stuff wrong. She bothers me right when i am clocking out. Also a note to management, you might want to do something about the rat problem if you want to keep your customers and the health board at bay. ( i saw the traps)

Supermarket Checkouts 3

Every time you go to the checkout line and put your items on the rubber conveyer, the cashier will roll it until your stuff runs together with the next person's. Then, no matter how unbusy or uncluttered the checkout line was, how far away you put your items from those of the guy in front of you, or how much later you arrived than he did, the cashier will stare at the mess and ask whose stuff is whose.

Yeah, that's what those rubber things are for that you're supposed to put between orders, but there's never one handy when you need it--any more than there's a pen that writes when the guy in front of you wants to pay with a check.

Grocery Stores 4

Visited the store today because I figured you would have this year's Beaujolais Nouveau--NOPE! Hopes dashed to smithereens against the dismal rocks of dismay. Should have gone to suffer at Kroger instead.

Also, I should not have to crouch on the floor getting sideswiped by overstuffed carts to read the tiny label for lentils, then literally lie on the floor and dig dig dig through heaps of bags of navy beans, many busted open, to find one buried bag of lentils in the back.

Then, fifteen minutes wasted in the "express" lane while the cashier figured out the price on some fool's bottle of Obsession perfume. For Pete's Sake, move that guy to the side and get the line moving! The number one problem I have with that store is the checkout lines that move at a geological pace. Doesn't matter how busy the store is; I am guaranteed to spend an twelve centuries at the checkout line every time without fail. GET THE LINES MOVING AT ALL COSTS---this is your new corporate goal to implement over the next four quarters (you're welcome). I don't care if you DOUBLE YOUR PRICES------GET THE LINES MOVING! No one wants to wither away to a dusty skeleton in some dingy queue of Soviet proportions. Especially not after another grueling 12-hour session of dealing with grade-A, class-A knuckleheads at work. GET THE LINES MOVING! Its all about throughput, throughput, throughput! To help in this effort, please ban checks--this activity wastes far too much time. Encourage customers to swipe their cards while the cashier is ringing up items (at a brisk pace, please). Have ample baggers available who are able to stuff more than one item per bag. Open GOBS UPON GOBS of self-checkout lanes, appropriately programmed so as to not lock up and die at the slightest unexpected disturbance. Better yet, Implant RFID in each item and give me a preapproved account so I can just fly out of the store with several tons of food and get my valuable time and life back. Your new catchphrase and "unique selling proposition" could be "At Meijer, Our Lines Are So Fast You'll Freak!" Go ahead and triple your prices---my time is worth it, and I'll be your loyal customer to the bitter end. Please get the lines moving.

Oh, and Bottle Return? God Almighty--I can't even think about that tarpit without hemorrhaging blood out my ears. Please figure out some way to eliminate that particular level of Hell.

Gristedes 5

The worst grocery chain EVER! Slow checkouts (always only one register open, even if there are 100000 people in line), the cashiers are unfriendly, lazy and sometimes don't even bother to bag your purchases, so you have to do it yourself, but the worst- the prices are INSANE! Once I bought a loaf of bread, eggs, and some packaged ham and it came out to $15. Right now, they just tried to sell me a SMALL bottle of Listerine for $6! I told them to fuck off and went to KMart 2 blocks away and bought it for $3.

Supermarket Assholes 6

One trip to the fucking supermarket and you can just kiss any potential good mood of the day goodbye. First, you have to search for a parking place. Usually, you can get a space at the very farthest end of the parking lot. If you pack a lunch and set up a base camp halfway to the goddamn store entrance, you can make the trip from there to your car in two days time, easy.

Next, the search for the items on sale this week. This is like the search for the Holy Grail, except that that item will be found someday. The fucking chop meat on sale is on another planet....right next to the courtesy desk (a contradiction in terms almost as bizarre as the phrase 'civil service'), where you have to go to get a fucking rain check so you can come back next week to be hosed again on over-priced merchandise instead of the shit that is supposed to be on sale.

Finally, you try to figure out which check out line to get on. This is like a trip to Vegas because, no matter what your bet is, the house always wins in the end. The choices of lines to get on are:

LINE NUMBER ONE - Self check out! This does not mean watching people masturbate, only watching them get fucked by the robot that can't figure out the difference between cash or checks or toilet paper. The only sure bet at this line is that the fucking machine will experience technical difficulties just before it's your turn.

LINE NUMBER TWO - Express! This is the line where people who have wallets, money, credit cards, etc., can't read the fucking sign that says 10 FUCKING ITEMS OR LESS!!!! The only things express about this line is how long it takes to lose my fucking temper and how I "express" myself (under my breath of course) while I wait behind that fat woman in the pink exercise jogging suit (who only jogs to the fucking nearest donut shop). You know this woman. She is the one who when she is on the line behind you knows you have 11 items and should get off the express line. She is the same woman who has 20 or more items in her cart when she is in front of you. My other favorite express line assholes are the ones who cram 42 fucking items into one of those hand baskets and think no one will notice.

LINE NUMBER THREE - The regular line! This line is supposed to be operated by a human being. Don't hold your breath. This is the line where the rudest, meanest, shit-faced bitches in the world are in training for the domestic violence victim of the year awards. And if the idiot at the register is wearing a little tag that says "Trainee" . . . YOU ARE DOOMED!!!

The best part of the whole experience is how you are treated to hearing all the songs you once liked, played elevator music style, thereby ruining them forever!

Finally, when you get to your car, it is surrounded by shopping carts, all of which have been cunningly designed to make contact with a dentable part of the car and not the little rubber strip that is supposed to prevent door dings from happening.

MOTHERFUCKERS!!! ASSHOLES!!! SHITHEADS!!! Fuck all supermarkets. If I could, I'd grow all my own fucking food and be done with the whole sorry shit situation.

Valley Market, Angel Fire, New Mexico 7

The former owners of this place are the biggest extorsonists in the world. There is no other grocery store anywhere near Angel fire, so they charged what they want.

Also, they hired all these illegals, paid them less than minium wage and literally praised GOD on a mountain. One of the owners even made a comment that "Niggers and spics" are trash, but they are cheap labor.

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