I have had the most amazing morning ever. And when I say this I don't say it lightly. Let's just say that my BF went out at 7:30 this morning and found...
A foul-smelling, loud mouthed, obnoxious drunk. Sleeping in my car. The car I just paid $305 for not 24 hours ago!
Of course he was apoplectic -- madder than I have ever seen him before in my life. Madder even than the night he and my ex BF had it out in the Price Chopper. Of course he dragged him out and was chasing him down the driveway across the street. Yours truly got on the phone to dispatch and said "You'd better send the cops to my house. And I mean NOW!!! Otherwise, its going to get very ugly." Of course they sent three police cruisers to my home and threw the guy across the hood and arrested him. (The police dept. did a NICE JOB!!) They found three nickle bags of pot on the guy too. All the while the guy was screaming "IT'S NOT MY POT! I DIDN'T DO NOTHIN WRONG!!! YOU FUCKIN SPIC! ARGH! GET OFF ME! I DIDN'T DO NOTHIN WRONG!!!!!" (ETC ETC. AD NAUSEUM)
i went out to try to start it because the registration is revoked for 41 days, hence no tags and it is tarped. I don't want the gasoline in it to turn to napalm -- i might as well junk the car if that happens. I couldn't even get it to turn over -- and the interior still smells like unwashed ass.
So what's a girl to do. Cry, Scream, Eat a Banana...Why does this shit always happen to me. I'm a nice person. I give my last dollar and the shirt off my back to people. Arrgh.
Drunks think all you want to do is listen to them and their stupid drivel. Last night I was at a Halloween ball in a Roman soldier costume, and a bunch of drunks from a wedding down the hall kept talking about how I looked like the mascot of some sports team they hated. One drunk guy said to his friend, "Should I crush his nuts now?" and a drunk woman shouted repeatedly at me, "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you." Meanwhile, I'm just standing there in my costume, waiting for my wife, who was in the bathroom. These idiots were so drunk they thought it was simply okay and fine to shout abuse at a total stranger. Like most drunks, they just want you to listen to them and THINK about the drunken drivel they say. And it worked, because now it's the next day, and I'm still mad at these idiots.
Me and my Family were at a Christmas Party until Santa Claus showed up completely drunk and he was barefoot and he had fucking toenail fungus on his left foot and here he comes in yelling Ho Ho Ho and then starts singing Christmas Carols very loudly to the annoyance of all of the other guests at the party. Then he goes over to a table where guests were eating their dinner and he climbs on top of the table with his nasty bare feet getting right in their food. The Eaters were telling Santa to get off the table but then Santa started singing Santa Claus is coming to town however Santa came down ass he went right through the table as he was covered in wine and people's food. Then Santa went into the restroom and yes he went inside barefoot and returned 20 minutes later this time wearing only a thong with bells at the croch and worst of all his asscheeks had turd stains smeared on them. Geezz Santa did anybody teach you how to wipe your own ass or to dress and act properly at an event. Then Santa goes over to some Women and asks them to sit on his lap and he can be their Christmas Gift only for a woman to kick him in his jingle balls. Then Santa went over to the Punch table and actually stuck his dirty foot in it and sucked his toes while everyone all groaned in disgust but before someone took Santa's Bag which was full of Coal and beat Santa upside the head as the Elves all dragged Santa's drunk half naked ass back to the North Pole, Christmas has been ruined for me.
*Note from Anger Central
Tis the season to be stupid. Falalala lalala!
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