Hamilton, Ontario, Canada

Ambitious city? HAH! Hamilton is just a polluted heap of trash with the ambition of a five week old rotting piece of roadkill. The closest thing we have to a zoo is the SPCA, and while they rush out and buy four freakin' street sweepers, destruct a natural habitat they aren't so willing to take care of the public gardens! I live in this city and I cannot wait to move out!


Ottawa, Ontario, Canada 2

I live in a pretty nice city up here, lots of nature spots and festivals, overall not a bad place to live. However, two things about living here piss me off. First, winter...it's not enough that we get snow up to our armpits and get colder than a witch's teat for 4 months out of the year, but the plows have to be so goddamned efficient. There is no such thing as a snow day here, the plows are always out and the rest of us are forced to slog through blizzard conditions or icy roads to get to work or school. Since I moved here there's only been two snow days, both because of a huge ice storm 5 years ago. We already have the fewest holidays in the free world, how about mixing in a snow day here and there? I'm going to save some iceballs for next winter to chuck at the plows so the fuckers will stay off the roads for a few hours at least.

My second beef has to do with the francophone population. About 1% of people up here only speak French, most who speak French as their 1st language can speak English. But if you try to speak English to them, they get all offended. WTF, I'm so sorry we didn't get the educational opportunities you got to learn French...since when does speaking French make you so high and fucking mighty? They bully the spineless politicians here to make all the government jobs have the requirement that candidates be bilingual, but don't be fooled...English people have to speak French fluently, but French people can get away with speaking a few English words. What a fucking crock! Meanwhile on the other side of the river in Quebec, it's French only and fuck the Anglos. On top of all that, they're the worst drivers...if I had a dollar for every time I've seen these cheese-eating surrender monkeys drive 30 mph on the FUCKING SIDEWALK, I could retire. I'd like to tell them to go back to their own side of the river and stay there until they promise not to bully the rest of us around and stop running us over.


Canada 3

In Canada, "offensive" speech is a crime. There is no free speech in their Charter of Rights as there is in the US constitution. There is an Orwellian Human Rights Commission that punishes individuals for speech deemed "offensive". One of their brain dead ministers said that Canada didn't want to have a Free Market of Ideas as exists in the USA. They intensely dislike political debates and call anyone who questions the Liberal Party orthodoxy a "redneck" or "racist". Finally they rave about their health care system, criticize the USA's and then flood American hospitals looking for treatment. As a former Canadian from BC, I am glad I don't live in this country. Only when Chrétien and his cronies are out of office will I return. Boo to the Liberals! Yes for the Canadian Alliance!


Canada 4

I had the opportunity to go to Niagara Falls and the only thing that fell was my idea of what Canada was like. People everywhere was obnoxious, in stores, markets, etc. Every time I asked a clerk for the price of something, is like it bothered them. Also I noticed that people have no personality, is nor USA but is not France either, so, what the hell are you?? , so far I'm glad I came back home and hope I don't have to see this racist, obnoxious people ever again!!!


Canada 5

Ahahahaha!! Canada... they fancy themselves as being an ideal in-between of Europe and America, sort of a "best of both worlds" kinda place. But in reality they're the worst of both worlds: The complete lack of class and culture as is found in the United States, and the same kind of intrusive, tyrannical socialist nightmare government they have in most of Europe. The United States may be full of uncultured redneck scum, but at least Americans value freedom. And Europeans may be sodomized by their governments but those people are sophisticated and educated. Canadians are both ignorant redneck scum, and sodomized by their government! Thats why they are and always will be the laughing stock of the western world.


CANADA/AMERICA 6

IM ANGRY THAT people are angry at canada. canada is the fucking shit... the only reason people want to hate is because they wish they could live in such a sick country. we have a population of 30 some odd million, but the development of any other leading world country. we have free fucking health care, long ass winters, and we couldn't care less about where we fall on the global spectrum, unlike all those dinks in america. fuck everyone who hates on canada, we smeared every single one of you guys in gold medals at the olympics... keep crying about it america you bunch of losers. you live in a country where you pay ten times the price for everything, and fork over your tax money to get nothing in return. you pay how much for college/university?? minimum wage is how much, five dollars? your government is a joke (especially the presidential address, that really gets everyone up here laughing) america thinks we like them. NO. you guys are an overpopulated joke, and its sad that you are constantly jealously hating on canada!! fuck all of you haters!!


Winnipeg 7

The city of Winnipeg, Canada has got to be the asshole of the entire western hemisphere. Here is why this excuse for a city pisses me off to no end:

The Weather: The winters here put Antarctica to shame and they last all the way from November to mid April. And then after that the rivers flood (The moonsoon-like rainstorms from may to july don't help this either) and the city and its outskirts are underwater for the next few months and then all summer there are mosquitoes up the ass. Don't build a city here the aboriginals said. Let the Aboriginals keep it the European settlers said, but no we had to have our fucking Winnipeg Jets merchandise.

The city itself: The government and business owners are notoriously corrupt, lazy and negligent to the point that they let our historic buildings fall into decaying eyesores, and they knock them down to replace them either with a gravel surface level parking lot or with featureless glass metal and concrete square box "modernist" eyesores, because apparently archetecture with character is so Victorian and Edwardian era. "Oh but they are too expensive to maintain." Bullshit. I've been to Russia, a place that endured two world wars and complete economic collapse after the Soviet era and they have 500+ Year old buildings that are in PRISTINE condition. But back on topic, there is the issue of the roads. The roads in this city are crumbling into oblivion and are such bad shape that I wouldn't drive a FUCKING M1 ABRHAMS down them. And our public transportation? Our version of rapid transit is a small stretch of road designated as a bus route, and our method of transit are buses that run once about every hour.

THE ECONOMY: In winnipeg you can land your dream job of working part time in the service industry at minimum wage or work in construction where you will be pounding pavement in shitty weather for the rest of your life, or an oh so exciting job in some unskilled labor position where you will never see a raise the whole time you are there. As for skilled positions, Winnipeg has the lowest wages for skilled workers, so not surprisingly, most of them leave for greener pastures. And here's the good part: The government takes 14% of your paycheque to either line their own pockets or to give to one of our many deadbeat slackers to spend on crack and cheap beer and so that they can lay in bed all day while the crotch monsters they squirt out for the extra baby cheques run around the streets stabbing people, wrecking and stealing shit and starting fires.

THE PEOPLE: Your average winnipegger is your typical blue collar trash. Their favorite thing to do is to run around buying up every piece of Winnipeg Jets merchandise they lay eyes on and then get together with other blue collar trash sit around watching hockey, drinking cheap ass beer and chitter chatting about sports, local politics, and other such inane bullshit. Sometimes they might drag their asses to some dumpy hotel bar and do the same shit. That's excitement for these bores. Other winnipeg archetypes are the aformentioned drunken/doped out welfare case and lame ass yuppies who live in either overpriced condos or subdivisions consiting of rows and rows of identical McMansions.

The people's attitude in this city is fucking atrocious. They yell obscene bullshit at random pedestrians out the windows of their cars, which they drive at 100KPH over the posted speed limit, the young ass punks like to make smart ass comments to try to start shit, they leave their garbage strewn all over the streets. And god forbid there be any sort of alternative/counterculture presence in this city.
The worst part: Many of these assclowns are devoutly loyal to Winnipeg, and will lash out at anyone who brings up the problems concerning the city or how bad it is, and will tell them to pick up and move. Yeah sure. Just let me pack up my whole life, sell my house and move out to some place where I don't know anyone or don't know my way around and then find a new place to live and a new place to work.

ENTERTAINMNET: Finding something to do in this city is a fucking headache if there ever was one. We have NO world class attractions that are considered standard for today's urban living experience like cities with actual significance or even anything that doesn't exist in any other community with a population over 500k. The events we have are not only mediocore at best, but there is only one or so major event, festival, etc every 1-2 months. Some of the locals who actually like this shithole will point out that there is lots to do. Such as take a walk in the park, go bowling, see a movie or other such grass-roots level BULLSHIT. Fuck you asshole. If I wanted grass roots level bullshit I would go move out to some podunk one horse hick town out in the bush. As far as nightlife is concerned, we have a few nightclubs that play the same, done-to-the-death top 40 pop hits as every other club on the planet. The people who go there are young ass little pukes who think they are from Beverley hills or the Jersey shore (and not some dead end industrial city in the middle of Canada) and slutty bimboes who have seen more dicks than a Richard convention. The other option are scuzzy hotel bars where filthy old washed up drunks hang out waiting to die and where the local blue collar trash goes to get pissed up after work. Shopping/retail in this city is appalling. The only stores we have are Giant Tiger (a local low-end discount store that's little better than a dollar store), Dollar stores, Tim Horton's, WalMarts, 7-11s (winnipeggers like to pride themselves on consuming the largest quantities of syrup and crushed ice in the world) and the same boring chain stores you see at every mall in the western hemisphere. Even independant retailers in trendy downtown neighborhoods rarely ever want to carry anything besides lower-upper end women's clothing. Variety? pfft.

Fuck winnipeg. Fuck the blue collar trash that live here. Fuck this boring, frozen shithole.


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