The Apocalypse, Day 15, Horror in the Garden!

Oh the Horror! The Horror! Due to the shutdown. The White House Garden has been allowed to wither and die! Squirrels have invaded and are devouring everything they can get their buck teeth into! There are rumors of Zombies in the Rose Garden as well! (Oh wait, that was another Obama Press Conference. Those were the reporters)

According the New York Post:

Squirrels are living high on the hog thanks to the government stalemate – feasting on tomatoes from the First Lady’s beloved White House garden while federal gardeners remain idle. With the shutdown entering its third week, the Park Service gardeners who normally tend the mushrooms, peppers, squash and other tasty items have only been permitted to water the plants.

Ok, so what has that lazy cow been doing? Oh, that’s right. Taking vacations on the taxpayer’s back. How about this you worthless slug? Get out there with your two layabout daughters and GET TO WORK! I know this is an alien concept for you, but you should try a little manual labor for once in your misbegotten life. Well, at least the squirrels are happy.

Local squirrels – already a nuisance in D.C. thanks to soft-hearted tourists bearing popcorn and other snacks – have been milking the shutdown as much as camera-hungry politicians.

“The squirrels are always a problem in the garden, eating the berry crop in the summer months,” notes Kohan. “But they’re now kids in a candy store, gorging themselves” on Sungolds and other tomatoes.

Hey! I have an idea. How about shipping all those EBT card holders who looted Walmart’s at taxpayers expense last weekend ((EBT benefit card glitch sparks Walmart shopping sprees in Louisiana)). Those vermin are just like squirrels. They like free stuff too.

I wonder if it even crossed the Obama’s pointed little heads that having Moochelle and the kids out there hoeing, racking and weeding, not to mention harvesting would make a great photo-op. Somehow I doubt it. Working in the garden, doing actual work, is for the little people, not the special people like Moochelle Obama.

Thatisall

~The Angry Webmaster~

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