Oh Joy, another Storm of the Century

Good day all. Yes, another storm approaches the headquarters of Anger Central. As you might expect, it’s being called a “Potentially historic” storm, possibly the “Storm of the Century!” What it will be is yet another snow storm.

We are expecting between 8-18 inches in our neck of the woods. People are not panicking, the store shelves have not been stripped bare of bread, milk and toilet paper and most people are just annoyed with all the Global Warming we’ve been having this winter. Personally, I’ve moved the Anger Central Limousine and prepared the Anger Central Powered Snow Removal Machine.

Mrs. Webmaster is aware of the coming storm and is really annoyed. She has to go to her Real World Job come rain or shine and will have to drive through the mess. The Angry Systems Administrator will remain in the Data Center and is preparing emergency survival supplies consisting of Mountain Dew, Coffee and Doritos. He has the local pizza shops on speed dial and it’s their problem getting his meals to him.

In other parts of the country, outright panic is the order of the day. According to Infowars Atlanta is acting as if General Sherman is coming to town ((The Atlanta Campaign)).

Atlanta residents ransacked neighborhood grocery stores in frantic preparation for their second major snowstorm of the year, waging fights over food items and leaving destruction and empty shelves in their wake, a stunning precursor to what will ensue once a major crisis impacts the U.S.

And what brought about this panic?

After three inches of snow shut the city down two weeks ago, causing major havoc and leaving miles of cars stranded on immobile roadways, the residents of Atlanta took heed and shopped early.

Three inches? THREE MISERABLE INCHES? Half the time I won’t even bother shoveling such a pitifully small amount of snow! What a pack of useless wimps! As to transportation, I fully expect the roads to be a mess and air travel will be screwed up, but at least nothing is going to stop the trains.

Associated Press: WASHINGTON — Amtrak is suspending some trains as a winter storm threatens the South and the Northeast. Amtrak says the suspensions Wednesday are meant to reduce the exposure of passengers, crews and equipment to extreme weather. The suspensions include trains between New York and several destinations in the South and the auto train between Washington’s northern Virginia suburbs and Orlando, Fla.

Ok, they are suspending trains going south? I thought trains could handle a couple of inches of snow on the rails? Oh, that must be it. There won’t be enough snow for their systems to get it out of the way. (Eye Roll) Continuing to watch the panic, Washington DC and the areas around that cesspool are shutting down. It’s well known that the instant a dusting of snow hits the ground, everyone promptly drives their cars into the nearest ditch. One of the reasons for this is that they only have 5 snowplows for the states of Maryland and Virginia and in Washington, they have some old lady with a broom.

As you might expect, people are getting really tired of all this snow and bad weather. However, a few have gone right around the bend. According to CBS New York:

As CBS 2’s Carolyn Gusoff reported Tuesday, people have found themselves fed up with the hassle of plowing, shoveling and salting. In fact, they have been pushed to the edge, to the point where they have been taking out their frustrations on plow drivers. Eric Ramirez, a snow plow driver on Long Island, said an irate man went so far as to rack a shotgun Sunday and threaten to shoot him because he was piling snow in front of the man’s Manorhaven home.

Ok, that is a little over the top. Lord knows I get really angry when I spend an hour clearing out my driveway only to see some idiot come along and plow 4 feet of snow into the entrance. However I didn’t come out with a shotgun and threaten the plow driver. As you might expect, the “Mental Health Professionals,” (What I call Witch Doctors), have a fancy syndrome ready for them to medicate. (At great expense to us and profits to the witch doctors) According to Dr. Norman E. Rosenthal, M.D.

Seasonal Affective Disorder is a type of depression that occurs regularly, every autumn and winter, when the days get short and dark, though it may occur at other times as well. The reason it occurs mostly during the winter months is that one of the main causes of the condition is a lack of sunlight. Other situations in which people don’t get enough sunlight include cloudy or rainy periods at other times of year, living in dark places and working for long hours in dark offices. Whenever there is insufficient sunlight, those people who are vulnerable to Seasonal Affective Disorder may develop symptoms.

The Doctor has a whole list of recommended treatments including our favorite, antidepressants. Personally, I like this one:

Take Trips to Sunny Places

You know where those sunny places are but, unless you plan in advance, you may feel too tired, unmotivated and down, to plan a trip when you need it the most. Take a look at a trip I took recently to Paradise Island in the Bahamas as “rescue medication” when my usual anti-SAD regimen wasn’t working (refer to blog).

Hey Mrs. Webmaster and I can go for that! A few months in the Bahamas, all expenses paid and I can guarantee our stress levels will drop to zero. Oh wait. It isn’t all expenses paid? I have to pay for it myself? Gee thanks! Now I’m really stressed out. Schmuck!

The only thing missing right now is a troop of acolytes from the Church of Global Warming Climate Change standing around in their Birkenstocks, banging away on their Bongo Drums and demanding that all sources of Carbon Dioxide be shut down NOW or we will ALL BURN TO DEATH AND THE EARTH WILL LOOK LIKE VENUS! With any luck, these idiots will collapse from hypothermia, get buried under a foot of snow, die and not be found until next spring.