Husbands and wives

Over the years. Anger Central has gotten a lot of postings from wive ranting and raving about their husbands. (Almost 300) We have gotten far fewer from husbands ranting about their wives.

One of the things I’ve seen on occasion are wives who are in a really bad situation, mentally and verbally abused and on occasion physically abused as well. Needless to say I detest and despise men who abuse their wives. When a posting comes in like this I usually post a “Note from Anger Central telling the woman in question to get out before something really bad happens.

The notes from Anger Central are all I can do since this site tries to protect the anonymity of people posting here. I have no way to track back a poster unless they put something in to identify themselves to me, or they contact me directly.

This has happened once. The woman in question posted to our site about what a real walking turd she was married to. (See posting 34 under husbands) I wrote a simple “Note from Anger Central” that said:

Leave him. Now. This minute. Pick up your child and walk to a relative or a battered women’s shelter. NOW

Other then that, there wasn’t much else I could do. About a year later I got an email from the woman in question that basically gave me the “Warm and Fuzzies” over my note.

“HI I wanted to say thank you. I wrote the story about husband 34 (something about the title saying he was a baby bitch man).

at the end of my message you wrote a note telling me to leave him.

At the time when u wrote it I was shoked kinda, but then my eyes were opened. It did take me seven more months to leave but I did leave.
I owe part of it to whoever posted that.
Thank you.
My life is going to be much better.
This website although maybe intended to release anger also helped to save this womans happiness.”

As much as I hate to see any marriage break up, there are just some that can’t be saved. Marriage is a 2 way street of course, (As you can see from the men posting about how bad their wives are), but abusive relationships are wrong, period.

On rare occasions, the husband, (or in some cases the wife), will suddenly come to the realization that he or she is really hurting their spouse and either changes his/her ways on their own, or seeks help to do so. In most cases, if both parties really want their marriage to work, they will figure out a way to save it.

I once worked with a guy who was not nice to his wife. He wasn’t physically abusive as far as I could tell, but he would cuss her out over the phone constantly. (I used to get into work just before he did and for a good 30-45 minutes we were alone in our cubes as he tore her apart)

I met his wife and she was the sweetest person you could know. He definitely didn’t deserve her. There was the additional complication of children. At one point, even our manager had to mention something to this clod because he was tearing his wife apart over the phone and others were getting concerned.

Eventually, the clod left and went on to other things as did I. About a year later I heard that his wife had finally decided she had had enough and filed for divorce. The way she served the papers was perfect.

During her birthday party, she looked at her husband and said:

Today is my birthday and this is my present to myself!

With that she handed him the divorce papers and walked out of the house. As far as I was concerned, it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. (Or his very nice now ex-wife)

I’ve been married for almost 5 years now to a wonderful woman. I do everything I can to help her and make her feel good and happy. I’ve never been able to grasp why men abuse women or husbands abuse wives.

Now, why am I bringing this up? Simple really.

My wife is not happy at the moment because she’s out of work. It’s very frustrating for her. She had a job she liked, (Waitress in a Chinese restaurant), but she had to give it up to go back to China to take care of her sick mother. (Who is much better now)

I do what I can for my wife, doing job searches and keeping my ear to the ground. My wife is a very talented and smart lady. She does complain that her English is no good, but she is functional in both spoken and written. She was a teacher for a while back in China and then opened her own store and ran that for a good 6 years. (She closed it when she moved to America)

I’m doing my best to be a good husband. I’m supporting her and giving her moral support as she tries to find something in this horrible job environment. I encourage her and work with her and do what I can to take a load off her shoulders. (She likes foot rubs and she’s getting a lot of those) 😀

So, for all you lunkheads who make the Taliban look like believers in women’s rights, grow up. They are not punching bags nor are they there to cater to your every whim. Marriage is a partnership and it requires both sides to make it work.

And lest you ladies think your getting off easily, think again. I’ve had a few postings from husbands who’s wives make Attila the Hun look laid back. Some of these women will assault their husbands knowing that the men won’t smash their heads through a wall. Oh, and you women who think you can attack your husband and then scream wife beating when he uses a defensive move, think again.

99% of the time this is the man grabbing the woman’s wrists and twisting to avoid the followup knee to the groin. This usually leaves bruises on the woman’s wrists and the police know that this was a defensive move and not an offensive strike. (Like a punch to the head)

In those cases it’s the woman who gets hauled off to jail.

Those cases are very rare of course. Mostly it’s some scumbag pseudo-man who uses his wife for a punching bag. Anything bad that happens to those guys is alright by me.

Well, I’m going to go massage my wife’s feet. Remember that marriage is hard work, and in the immortal words of my father:

Marriage is a 90-10 proposition. You give 90% and your wife takes the remaining 10%. As long as you remember that, you will have a long and happy marriage. 🙂

That is all for now.

~The Angry Webmaster~