And the stupid criminals of the month are

Amber Campbell and John Arwood of Florida! Yes, we already have a winner for the month of January and it’s only the second day of the month.

What caused these two criminal masterminds to win was being so stoned on Meth, they couldn’t figure out how to open a door. Here are the details from the Orlando Sentinel:

A Florida couple who were high on drugs spent two days believing they were trapped in a janitors closet and eventually called 911 for help, only to be told by police they could have just opened the door themselves.

How in the world did these idiots manage this?

John Arwood, 31, and Amber Campbell, 25, claimed they were chased into the closet on Sunday, Daytona Beach police said.

The only thing that chased them was the High Balling Crack Creature. Eventually, these two geniuses decided to call 911 for help.

Arwood called 911 from his cell phone, police said. Officers tracked his phone’s location and let him and Campbell out. After two days in a Marine and Environmental Science Center janitor’s closet, where police found human feces and copper scouring pads sometimes used to smoke crack.

The police probably used the GPS tracking function to narrow down the search area, then just followed their noses.

It’s unclear why Arwood didn’t call 911 until Tuesday.

It could be they finally ran out of drugs and panicked. The Daily Mail has both on site pictures as these two morons were taken away and also their mug shots. I would strongly advise not looking at these pictures with a full stomach. Getting back to the article on the Daily Mail, the police wondered how these two managed to lock themselves in the closet.

But an officer, trying to understand what had happened, went into the closet and shut the door. The door did not lock.

They also didn’t find any drugs, probably due to these genetic failures consuming everything they had. They’ve been charged with trespassing and Arwood has been charged with violating probation from an earlier conviction from a 2013 arrest. I don’t know what the courts will do with these two walking clots, but I would suggest sentencing them to community service, cleaning out the alligator droppings in the everglades…with the gators assigned guard duty.

Thatisall

~The Angry Webmaster~

[yasr_visitor_votes size=”medium”]