OMG! Marco Rubio has broken traffic laws!

Good day all. Senator Marco Rubio proved to be a bit of a disappointment, what with his backing of amnesty for criminal aliens. Still, he’s head and shoulders above the current occupant of the White House, and has announced that he is running for President.

I have not decided if I want him in the White House, partly due to his Immigration stance, and partly due to the tendency of people being elected President straight out of the Senate not being all that great. (John Kennedy came straight from the senate and almost caused a nuclear war. Obama? ‘Nuff said) In any case, he is throwing a scare into the Democrats, which is always a good thing.

Because the Democrats think there is a possibility that Rubio might win the nomination, they have started digging into his past to find some dirt on him. Well, they have just found a major scandal. What is this horrible things Rubio has done? He broke the speed limit. Here are the details from the New York Slimes:

Senator Marco Rubio has been in a hurry to get to the top, rising from state legislator to United States senator in the span of a decade and now running for president at age 44. But politics is not the only area where Mr. Rubio, a Republican from Florida, has an affinity for the fast track. He and his wife, Jeanette, have also shown a tendency to be in a rush on the road.

Oh No! This is a family scandal! Call Olivia Pope ASAP!!

According to a search of the Miami-Dade and Duval County court dockets, the Rubios have been cited for numerous infractions over the years for incidents that included speeding, driving through red lights and careless driving. A review of records dating back to 1997 shows that the couple had a combined 17 citations: Mr. Rubio with four and his wife with 13. On four separate occasions they agreed to attend remedial driving school after a violation.

That’s it! We need a special prosecutor to investigate the driving skills of the Rubios!

Mr. Rubio’s troubles behind the wheel predate his days in politics. In 1997, when he was cited for careless driving by a Florida Highway Patrol officer, he was fined and took voluntary driving classes. A dozen years later, in 2009, he was ticketed for speeding on a highway in Duval County and found himself back in driver improvement school.

Things got more complicated in 2011 when Mr. Rubio was alerted to the fact that his license was facing suspension after a traffic camera caught him failing to stop at a red light in his beige Buick. His lawyer, Alex Hanna, paid a $16 fee to delay the suspension and eventually it was dismissed.

Oh Ho! Now we can add buying his way out of trouble to the mix. Obviously, both the Rubios need to be sent to a maximum security federal prison RIGHT THIS MINUTE!

“Senator Rubio’s license has always been in good standing,” Mr. Hanna said in a statement provided by Mr. Rubio’s campaign. “This matter was resolved by the court system and at no point was the license suspended by the D.M.V.”

A likely story! Obviously we have some quid pro quo here. We may need TWO special prosecutors for this one!

That was not the last time Mr. Rubio was ticketed. In 2012 he was caught failing to obey a stop sign, but the infraction was dismissed.

I see we have a classic case of “Do you know who I am?” going on here. Rubio must have used his office to get out of this grave offense to public order. And what about his co-conspirator?

Ms. Rubio’s driving record is even messier. According to the records, her driver’s license faced suspension on three occasions, including after a 2009 episode where she was driving a white Cadillac at 58 miles per hour on a road in West Miami with a speed limit of 35 m.p.h. She paid a $302 fine and agreed to attend a four-hour course at a local traffic school.

My God! The horror!

However, Ms. Rubio, who also took a four-hour basic driver improvement course after a careless driving incident in 2000, failed to complete the class and had to pay another $34 penalty. The lessons apparently did not stick. A year later, in 2010, she was stopped for driving 23 m.p.h. in a school zone where the speed limit was 15 m.p.h. She was fined $185.

That’s it. She’s obviously worse than Ted Bundy. Send her to the electric chair now! It’s for the children after all.

The Rubios have spent more than $1,000 paying traffic penalties over the years, but after Mr. Rubio was elected to the Senate in 2010 they took a different approach to handling their tickets.

Ah Ha! We have a smoking gun!

Mr. Rubio hired Mr. Hanna, a Miami-based lawyer and donor, whose website sales pitch says, “Have you received a traffic ticket? Don’t pay it.” With Mr. Hanna’s help, Mr. Rubio’s last two citations were dismissed and seven of Ms. Rubio’s last eight were cleared.

Obviously, some palms had to have been greased. There can be no other explanation. No doubt the special prosecutors will get to the bottom of this and indictments and long prison sentences will be handed down against this Florida crime family. Why they make the Mafia look like saints!

Alright, this whole thing was written in jest, but you just know that some idiotic moonbat of a Social Justice Warrior is going to make the exact same accusations. The fact is that Senator Rubio’s traffic record is about typical for many people. Now his wife? Her excuse is simple. Woman driver.

If this is all they can come up with, then the New York Times should just shut down and go out of business. They can’t even do a decent slime job any longer. Whatever happened to the old standby, “Senator Rubio! Have you stopped beating your wife?”

Thatisall

~The Angry Webmaster~

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