Good day all. Friday, in a barely covered story, news came out that a comet is heading towards Earth. This comet will come closer to Earth than any other in centuries. WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!
Now that I have your attention, (Hey, I can play clickbait with the best of them), here’s what’s really happening according to USA Today:
An emerald-green comet will brush the Earth Monday, followed one day later by a kissing cousin that will swerve closer to the planet than any other comet in nearly 250 years.
Oh NO! We’re looking down both barrels of a shotgun!
The first and bigger of the two comets will be visible Monday to the naked eye in the southern hemisphere, as long as city lights are far away.
Southern hemisphere? Say goodbye to Australia, South America and Africa!! Of course, the scientists aren’t seeing anything but the comets. They don’t understand that IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD!!
“This is one for the record books,” says Michael Kelley of the University of Maryland, who’s never heard of two comets approaching close to Earth a day apart. “It’s a fantastic opportunity for professionals to learn more about comets, and if you have a chance to try to find them … it’s a fantastic chance to see part of history as it happens.”
I’m sure Barney the scientist dinosaur said the very same thing just before the Chicxulub asteroid blasted Barney and all his reptilian friends into the fossil record.
The first member of the pair, known as comet 252P/LINEAR, is a bright green color from the carbon gas it’s puffing out, says the University of Maryland’s Matthew Knight. 252P will slide past Earth at a distance of roughly 3 million miles. That’s well beyond the moon but near enough to put 252P in the top 10 of closest-approaching comets.
OMG! 3 Million miles is Nothing! And green? This isn’t a comet, it’s an alien attack and we are ALL DOOMED.
Astronomers discovered the trailing member of the pair, P/2016 BA14, a few months ago. It was shrugged off as yet another asteroid, or space rock. Then astronomers peering through a telescope saw it had a tail – and was therefore a comet. That means BA14 and its larger companion “are among the closest comets to pass by Earth in recorded history,” says Knight, who took the first snapshot revealing BA14 is a comet.
Scientists aren’t yet sure of the nature of the relationship between 252P and its hanger-on. Perhaps BA14 broke off 252P decades ago. Both comets could be pieces from an even bigger comet, or they could be unrelated.
Does the phrase “First strike/Second strike mean anything to you ivory tower types? The last time we were hit, it ended the Dinosaurs. I have located a video of how that event probably occurred.
[youtuber youtube=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qJPTjMnwNk’]
This will be a double impact. Humanity will DIE! I, for one, do not wish to go through a real life Lucifer’s Hammer, thank you very much. I recommend that the United States, Russia and China launch an immediate all out nuclear first strike on these enemy comets. Nuke them out of our orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
Thatisall
~The Angry Webmaster~
[yasr_visitor_votes size=”medium”]
Seems not all paleontologists are convinced Chicxulub single-handedly ended the Mesozoic Era.
It was the follow up strikes by the Illegal Alien Strike force!!