“You want my job description? You can’t _handle_ my job description!”

The Angry Webmaster recently demanded to know what I actually do here. Well, I found a perfect description. So, do you really want to know what I DO? Well I’ll tell you!

Son, we live in a world that has firewalls and servers. And those firewalls and servers have to be guarded by men with root. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Mr. MBA? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for email and you curse the admins. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that spam’s death, while tragic, probably saved servers. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves time…You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at management retreats, you want me on that server. You need me on that firewall.

We use words like honor, code, loyalty…we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use ’em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who manages and calendars under the blanket of the very service I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way.Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a keyboard and stand a shift. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!

~The Angry Systems Administrator~

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