Good day all. There is a hurricane, (Or is it a typhoon since it’s in the Pacific?), taking aim at Southern Kalifornistan. The storm has been named “Hurricane Hillary.”
Normally, hurricanes don’t really hit Kalifornistan for a number of reasons. This one, Hurricane Felonia von Pantsuit, (What? Did you think I wasn’t going to take a shot at Hillary Clinton?), will probably drop to tropical storm status. Here are those details from the Orange County Register:
Hurricane Hilary churned off Mexico’s Pacific coast Friday as a powerful Category 4 storm threatening to unleash torrential rains on the mudslide-prone border city of Tijuana before heading into Southern California as the first tropical storm there in 84 years.
I’m sure Bill Clinton is happy that Kalifornistan is the target for Felonia for once.
Forecasters warned the storm could cause extreme flooding, mudslides and even tornadoes across the region.
Tornadoes? Tornadoes tearing through Los Angeles? Ripping up Beverly Hills? Please! Don’t get our hopes up.
Hillary grew rapidly in strength early Friday before losing some steam in the afternoon, with sustained winds falling from 145 mph to 130 mph. Nevertheless, it was forecast to still be a hurricane when approaching Mexico’s Baja California peninsula on Saturday night and a tropical storm when approaching Southern California on Sunday.
That sounds like the typical presidential campaign of Felonia. Rapidly gain strength, and then end up getting tossed into the back seat by the secret service because you had one dozen to many martinis at lunch.
No tropical storm has made landfall in Southern California since Sept. 25, 1939, according to the National Weather Service. The watch was posted for a wide swath of Southern California from the coast to interior mountains and deserts. The U.S. National Hurricane Center warned of potential threats to life and property.
Hurricane officials said the storm could bring heavy rainfall to the southwestern United States, dumping 3 to 6 inches in places, with isolated amounts of up to 10 inches, in portions of Southern California and southern Nevada.
I guess that will be the ultimate power washing Los Angeles County, something it’s desperately needed for the lat 30 years or so.
President Joe Biden said the Federal Emergency Management Agency had pre-positioned staff and supplies in the region.
“I urge everyone, everyone in the path of this storm, to take precautions and listen to the guidance of state and local officials,” Biden told reporters Friday at Camp David, where he is meeting with the leaders of Japan and South Korea.
What actually happened is that Biden’s staffers gave him a card to read, he managed to get through it without going off on his usual tangents, then he retired for the day and watched reruns of Murder she wrote.
In the mean time, Kalifornistan is going into full panic mode. They are offering people sandbags, (They are charging for the actual sand of course), and will soon issue stay at home orders and instruct everyone to maintain at least six feet of separation between people and mandate that masks will be worn. All business will be closed indefinitely.
Govno Newsom has announced that these measures are needed until Big Pharma produces the anti-hurricane vaccines, and everyone will be required to get the vaccines before being allowed to evacuate to a place of safety.
Normally these storms blow out to sea, and I don’t expect this to be much different. It’s certainly not like the Gulf or Atlantic coasts where they can be hit with category 5 storms that can flat out level entire counties. For a potential tropical storm? The response from Floridians will be:
Thatisall
(6 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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~The Angry Webmaster~
