Review: The Avengers

Greetings all, time for a movie review. Last night I saw the new Marvel movie, Avengers. I was not disappointed.

As usual, I went to Chunky’s, my personal favorite theater. I was smart enough to get there a good 40 minutes early since the movie did sell out. I didn’t go to the 3D version since I really don’t like the 3D glasses you have to wear. The additional cost was also a factor. The 2D version was just fine for me.

As usual, I also ordered dinner. I had my usual steak tips and a large 22oz Sam Adams Seasonal. This is usually more than I drink, but since the movie was over 2 hours plus the time I was waiting for it to start, I figured I wouldn’t have any real problems. ((My known low tolerance for Adult Beverages)) As I waited for my order, the theater filled up…FAST! When one of the staff members came by counting open seats, I commented to her that “A full house is a happy bank balance.” She found that amusing and laughed.

The movie started as I was finishing up my meal. I still had half a glass of beer and I nursed that through the movie. Now, be advised there WILL be spoilers and I won’t be bothered from this point forward in noting them. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!

The first thing you need to do is check your logic at the door. The things they do in this movie would normally get everyone killed. Som where to begin? How about at the beginning?

Being the lazy sort, I’m using Wikipedia for a lot of the plot information.

The Asgardian Loki encounters the Other, the leader of a warmongering alien race known as the Chitauri. In exchange for retrieving the Tesseract, a powerful energy source of unknown potential, the Other promises Loki a Chitauri army with which he can subjugate the Earth. Nick Fury, director of the espionage agency S.H.I.E.L.D., arrives at a remote research facility during an evacuation, where physicist Dr. Erik Selvig is leading a research team experimenting on the Tesseract. Agent Maria Hill explains that the object has begun radiating an unusual form of energy. The Tesseract suddenly activates and opens a portal, allowing Loki to reach Earth. Loki takes the Tesseract and uses his staff to enslave Selvig and several agents, including Clint Barton, to aid him in his getaway.

At this point it’s time to start putting together the Avengers team. It starts out with Natalia Romanova, aka Black Widow, strapped to a chair and being interrogated by some bad guys. Natalia was last seen, (and introduced), in Iron Man 2. During the beating, one of the criminal’s cellphone rings. The call is for Natalia and instructs her that she is needed elsewhere. She promptly beats the crap out of everyone there and heads off to her new assignment, getting Dr. David Banner, aka “The Hulk,” who is hiding in India and helping the poor. Natalia convinces him to help locate Loki and the Tesseract even though Banner has some serious anger management issues.

While Natalia was looking for Banner, SHIELD agent Phil Coulson goes to see Tony Stark, aka Iron Man, and gives him the briefing papers about what was happening and asking him to join the Avengers. Stark is rather reticent about this but his assistant/girlfriend Pepper Potts is very please to see Agent Coulson and talks Tony into going.

Director Nick Fury goes to visit Captain Steve Rogers, aka “Captain America,” who has been at loose ends since being revived 70 years out of time. Fury gives him a mission and Rogers, of course, signs up. (Hey, he’s a real hero people) Rogers heads off to Germany with Stark to confront Loki and retrieve the Tesseract. Loki is raising holy hell at some sort of gathering and comes out and demands the crowd bow to him. One man refuses and Loki is about to make an example of him when Captain America arrives.

Loki starts the fun by firing an energy blast at “Cap” which bounces off his shield and knocks Loki for a loop. Cap and Loki go at it and Captain America is not doing well. At this point, Stark, now in his armor arrives and also takes on Loki. His weapons and armor allow him to go toe to toe with Loki. Loki then surrenders and just as he’s about to be taken away, is grabbed by Thor who has just arrived. Stark goes after them and as Thor is telling Loki he has to go back to Asgaard, gets hit by Stark and knocked over.

They start pounding on each other with lots of really cool effects. They finally figure out they shouldn’t be fighting each other and take Loki back to the SHIELD aircraft carrier. Now this carrier is able to fly and takes off and cloaks its self. Loki is locked into a special cell that was originally designed for the Hulk.

Meanwhile, our Heroes are in a lab talking about to deal with Loki and find the Tesseract. They also discover that Fury has been using the technology they’ve discovered from studying the Tesseract to make weapons. The group starts arguing loudly among themselves, (Think massive overdose of testosterone) when Clinton Barton, aka Hawkeye, who had been brainwashed by Loki when he first arrived, leads an attack on the carrier. He fires an arrow with an explosive tip and disables one of the engines.

They then board the carrier and start working their way through to Loki. The Avengers suit up and start moving to deal with the intruders. Natalia is leading David Banner to a safe area in order to keep him from transforming into the Hulk. Unfortunately they are intercepted and both of them were dropped to another deck. This is enough to start Banner’s transformation into the Hulk. He promptly starts rampaging through the carrier, causing even more damage.

Eventually he gets into it with Thor and the Hulk falls out of the carrier. There’s lots more action, with Captain America and Iron Man trying to restart the damaged engine so they don’t crash and die. While all this is going on. Hawkeye frees Loki and Thor ends up trapped in the special cell. Loki bushes the button and drops the cell out of the carrier sending Thor to his doom. (You know that isn’t going to happen) He manages to break out at the last second. Iron man and Captain America manage to get the engine restarted and the carrier lands safely in the water. Hawkeye is beaten senseless by Natalia and captured. She manages to restore his free will.

Agent Phil Coulson confronts Loki with one of the new weapons but is knifed in the back, mortally injuring him. He manages to get a shot off which knocks Loki for a loop. Loki escapes. Fury finds Coulson and tries to keep him alive until medical help arrives, but fails. Fury uses Coulson’s death to unite the Avengers. Stark and Rogers realize that simply defeating them will not be enough for Loki; he needs to overpower them publicly to validate himself as ruler of Earth. Loki uses the Tesseract, in conjunction with a device Selvig built, to open a portal above Stark Tower to the Chitauri fleet in space, launching his invasion.

Stark gets into his damaged suit and heads back to Stark Tower. He spots Loki and rather then try and attack him, lands and removes his armor and heads to the bar. Loki comes in and Stark offers him a drink which Loki turns down. While talking with Loki he slips on a pair of bracelets and in the typical Stark manner, starts insulting Loki. Loki attempts to brainwash Stark with his spear, but when he taps Starks chest, he hits the arc reactor and isn’t able to do so. He then throws Stark out the window and as he flies out, Stark tells his computer to activate the new armor which flies after him. Stark is able to don the suit just before he hits the street.

Now the big battle for New York begins, and it’s a doosey. Aliens come pouring through the now opened portal and the Avengers begin fighting back. Even David Banner joins in by allowing the Hulk to take over. At one point, Captain America turns to the Hulk and says “Hulk? SMASH!” which the Hulk does with great abandon.

At one point, Hulk goes after Loki and confronts him in Stark’s apartment. Loki starts telling the Hulk he is a god and there is nothing anyone can do to stop him. This is where one of the most hilarious parts of the movie happens. The Hulk grabs Loki by one ankle and just starts wailing him back and forth literally pounding him into the cement. During this segment, the theater audience wasn’t so much cheering as laughing hysterically, which I think was the whole idea.

As the battle continues, Natalia reaches the roof with the tesseract generator. She can’t get to it due to the force field surrounding it. Dr. Selvig regains his senses and tells her that he has built in a back door to the device and that Loki’s spear can get through the field and shut down the doorway.

While this is going on, the people running SHIELD, the ones Nick Fury reports to, decide to launch a nuclear strike on New York in hopes of closing the portal and stopping the invasion. Fury is aghast at this and tries to stop it. He refuses the order to launch the strike. The committee relieves him and orders the launch. Fury shoots down one of the planes but the other gets away and launches a missile. Stark, in a badly damaged armor suit races to intercept the missile, grabs it and redirects it through the portal. He aims it at the alien station and watches as it hits and destroys it. The Avengers watdch and wait for Stark to come back through the portal, but his suit has failed and shut down. He is slowly drifting to the portal. Finally the order is given and Natalia pushes Loki’s spear through the field and shuts down the portal. As it collapses, Stark fall through it and is caught by the Hulk.

Basically this is the end of the film, but of course this is a Marvel film so there’s always more aftee the credits. In the first of two post-credits scenes, the Other confers with his master about the attack on Earth. The second scene is of the Avengers eating silently in a shawarma restaurant.

So there you have it. Now, this movie was a bit weak on the plot, but you know what? I don’t care! The logic and science had holes in it so big you could drive a supertanker through it. Guess what? I don’t CARE!! I liked this movie and I heartily recommend it. In fact, it’s now on my list of “MUST BUY” DVD’s, and I will be pre-ordering it as soon as it’s available. Go see this movie. See it now!

Thatisall

~The Angry Webmaster~