newspaper home delivery

who the hell hires these morons anyway?????? mother fuckers keep tossing my paper wherever and the damn thing keeps getting stolen! so last week i called to bitch that the jerkoff who delievers the paper (with an I Q of negative ZERO!) needs to mark my paper with my address and get it closer to my front door. so what the FUCK do i find this morning?????? my damn newspaper strewn out over my front lawn!! HEY GOATFUCKER! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT BY CLOSER TO MY DOOR! go back to fourth grade and learn something asshole! and if i see you delivering in my neighborhood next weekend, i will personally rip you a new asshole, so beware!!


FedEx 2

I am angry at FedEx. They have the worst customer service I have ever seen. I ordered a package that was guaranteed to be at my house in 3 days and it is now day 11. I called the customer service and I am unable to get a damn person to talk to. Instead I get the same message "Your comment is very important to us please stay on the line" that is so sickening. Instead of that blatant lie they should just replace the message with what they really mean: "Sorry, but we just don't give a shit about you or your package, please stay on the line another 30 minutes to hear this fucking recording again." I also tried their damn tracking service and they apparently don't give a fuck about that either because they don't update the damn thing. What a shitty excuse for a company. Holy shit FedEx pisses me off!


UPS Olympics Medal 3

This is all about those motherfuckers at UPS. They come to the fucking house during the middle of the day and of course they can't deliver my fucking package because I am at work making the fucking money I need to order shit and pay for UPS NOT TO FUCKING DELIVER IT!!!!! After they leave a post-it note telling me that (just like Arnold in Terminator) "They'll be back", the bastards come at 8:00 AM on Saturday. The best part of this shit system is how the cocksuckers that supposedly have the job of delivering my packages are in training for the Olympics 100 yard dash. Since I know they are coming on Saturday, I made sure to be awake, dressed, reasonably awake, and at the door to get my package. But instead, the shitwad driver jumps out of the truck, post-it note in hand, runs up to my door, slams the bell once, sticks the post-it note on with the other hand, and runs back to the truck. I come out and shout at him to come back with my fucking package, but no fucking joy. I guess the cocksuckers are all training for speed running in the fucking Olympics and have no interest in weight lifting, not even a little fucking package. Or maybe there is some kind of Guinness world record they are trying to set for undelivered packages. Although I must say, some of these fuckers have got the shot put event down to a science when it comes to delivering fragile shit.

Why the hell do these fucking companies let these assholes deliver their merchandise????? By the second attempted non-delivery, I have to go to their fucking UPS facility (located in the asshole of Egypt or some place equally remote and not on the fucking Yahoo map - also a worthless shit job), and get my own fucking package.

I feel like putting a blob of crazy glue on my fucking door bell so the fucking so called delivery guy can get his finger stuck to my fucking door bell. Maybe that would keep him there long enough for me to wrestle my fucking package out of his hand. The only problem with this is that the bastard would probably choose that day to knock on the damn door instead of ringing the bell. Five minutes later, some Jehovah Witness would ring the bell and I would have to spend the rest of my life listening to their religious shit while they stand there, stuck to my door bell, waiting to be caught up in the rapture at the second coming of Christ. Fuck UPS. Oh by the way, fuck FedEx too. Same shit - different color uniforms.


DHL Sucks 4

DHL Day and a Half Late! I ordered steaks and they were shipped DHL overnight. I paid $17 for this joke. The next day I see they arrived and were loaded on the delivery truck. Day 3 and no fucking package. So I call the meat company and they Call DHL and guess what the fucking morons lost the package. Great so then I get an email and they said the meat will be delivered by noon the next day. So on day 4 the fucks bring me the steaks except it was at 5:00 that evening and the fucking meat was rotten. Fuck DHL! That company now uses UPS so Im glad you assholes lost business.


delivery drivers and customers 5

stupid delivery truck drivers and self centered homeowners.i remember the days when if you were expecting an appliance delivery and pickup you allowed for the box truck access.you moved your vehicles.nowadays people think nothing of unpacking and blocking the entire street. delivery drivers used to unpack behind the truck, now they leave it on the passenger side of truck effectively blocking the street.thanks for nothing you assholes. it is againest the law to block a public street for 15 minutes or more.fuck you all.hope the appliances are defective and burn the house down.


parcel carriers 6

it used to be that once upon a time in this country fed ex ,ups, and the postal service at least made the effort to leave parcels on your porch or covered the item with a bag to prevent water damage. now they leave shipments on your steps, walkway or driveway and do not give a damn as to what happens. what is wrong with the managers or idiots they hire nowadays?


FedEx 7

Man, fuck FedEx! My worn down bedroom chair has finally broken down, so I ordered another one off the internet. The fucking jackasses used FedEx to ship it out. According to the tracking online, they slapped the shipping label on it, then left it in the fucking warehouse for the past couple of days, not shipping it the fuck out. Why the fuck have they not shipped it out? My current chair has further busted up because of the broken base and I just want my new fucking chair. This is fucking bullshit.


UPS Are Idiots 8

I ordered something online for $20 and the delivery was scheduled and it never came they said they got my address mixed up so I called their Customer Service with their infuriating tone deaf prerecorded voice and have some Chinese Fucktard who can't speak English good and you can't understand a word this fucktard is saying. First I left my package in the warehouse for safe keeping and tried to reschedule a delivery but this fucktard said they couldn't do that. REALLY is your lazy ass that goddamn retarded to not reschedule a simple delivery to the right address; i'm not driving all the way to some warehouse on some road that I am unfamiliar with and i'm not wasting the gas for it all because your workers are too goddamn stupid and lazy to get it right the first time. Fuck UPS I will never order from their business ever again and I hope UPS goes out of business.


DoorDash Delivery Service 9

I don't know why restaurants are using Delivery Apps to deliver food to houses when I prefer to use the Drive Thru, I did use the Door Dash App to order food from Wendy's and let's just say when my order got here the Delivery boy Fucking Ate my damn order and he's like where's my money? I told him you ain't getting a dime fro me boy you ate my food now barf it up or get the hell off my property. After the idiot left I called Wendy's and reported what happened and they fired the glutton who ate my order and this time I ordered my food through the drive thru in which i'll be using from now on, no more delivery services not to mention some asshole put his testicles in a customer's salsa, now if some idiot did that to me I would punch him in his balls and make sure he never gets employed anywhere ever again. Don't waste your time with delivery services, just use the drive thru.


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