The Hipster is the most odious societal fragment in San Francisco. I have had it UP TO FUCKING HERE with the San Francisco Hipster.
Take your skinny jeans, your Western shirts and cowboy boots (you assholes have no business wearing anything Western because you are pussified little punks and my dad was a real cowboy, so suck it), your American Apparel hoodies, your 80's stirrup pants, your hideous ugly giant retro glasses, your bicycles zooming haughtily past me in TRAFFIC LANES, your lame tattoos, your Cat Power (fuck that bitch, she can't sing worth a dime) bangs, your JOANNA NEWSOM, Sufjan Stevens, and any pseudo-country albums, your Harmony Korine DVDs and EAT them. You could get more nutrition out of your ironic accessories than you do from your raw kale salad at Cafe Gratitude.
Oh and while we're at it, you fuckin hipsters need to understand this: being rail-thin DOES NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD BE WEARING JEANS THAT FIT LIKE LEGGINGS. If ANYTHING you should be wearing jeans that don't make me think that I have stepped into a wormhole and been thrown into either Auschwitz or a Vincent Gallo movie (Vincent Gallo is a fuckhead and if you love him you are a hipster, sorry). And this bony look (and I'm not talking a slender, slim person, I am talking about 'I can see your hip bones poking through your True Religion jeans' person) is not relegated to the Hipster females. Hipster men are just as guilty. And if you are a STRAIGHT hipster guy wearing skinny jeans, well then all I can say is that sex with you would be like having a coat hanger on top of me. Not good, fellas, not good.
Essentially, what I hate is your pretentious, obnoxious personality and your pathetic, outrageously ambitious desire to constantly be 'interesting.' People who are actually INTERESTING don't need to affect these qualities by dressing the part every day and meticulously planning out an outfit with the perfect amount of irony in order to show people, "hey, I know I am wearing something exceedingly ugly and out of date, but I only do that because I am so cool and far ahead of you that I ALREADY REALIZED IT WAS AN UGLY OUTFIT AND WORE IT ANYWAY! JOKES ON YOU! HAAAAAAAAAAH!" Well no, fucker, the joke is on you. Because in 5 years (yeah, time is getting shorter) you will look at yourself in your fringed slouchy boots and your sunglasses with the neon-green frames and think "wow, I looked like a fuckin idiot." You did. You do. So stop. Thanks.
Okay, I usually don't get this pissed off at a person but seriously, why do the majority of black people have to act like they're from the ghetto!? I'm just walking to class and this dude bumps into me and starts exploding into a mess of insults and spit in my face. One, get the hell out of my face before I drop you. Two, you bumped into ME, don't get pissy, and don't go crying about how you're get your 'homies' to kick my ass, because they don't exist, because nobody wants to hang out with someone as obnoxious and rube as yourself. Make sure you put some ice on that eye when you get home. ;)
I cannot stand these hipsters including my in denial sister. They litter the streets with bikes but dont follow the traffic laws like they are supposed to, they just blow right through the lights. they run around the art school and use their parents money. they think they can be rude because they are better than everyone else.. well your not. they all swear to me they are not hipsters ahaahahaha. if it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck...
are you annoying as hell to a jury of 3 or more normal people?
do you wear tight pants every day of your life?
do you wear a fanny pack?
do you often look sweaty and dirty? hair often unkept?
do you ride a bike everywhere so much that it is annoying and also dangerous?
ignore traffic laws on your annoying skinny bike?
intentionally try to make people puke with your disgusting clothes and glasses?
act so annoying?
go to dumb little coffee shops even if you cant afford it?
for philly- live in fishtown, northern liberties, or south philly, or whatever neighborhood is trendy with your kind?
go to bars in those places?
want to be a vegan?
maybe think you are an artist?
if you can answer yes to 3 or more... you are probably a hipster, so you need to stop living in denial and GET SOME HELP
Hipsters are the most intentionally ugly pieces of shit on the planet, and they mock popular fashion from decades ago that actually look better than this shit. They wear the most retarded giant hats sideways, and oversized plaid shirts that are buttoned every other button and sloppily NOT tucked in. The colors completely clash and these hipsters look like complete tools, but they think they look great and will shit on everybody else who dresses different. They will post a picture of themselves looking ugly, and then start making fun of people that actually look good, especially if it's an old picture of somebody wearing something from decades ago. They will even mock kids.
Fuck these soy bean latte drinking dumb fucks with a superiority complex. The hipster shit is the ultimate garbage fad that started in the 60s with their fucking whining about conservatives, and now it's cool again. Funny how they tried to ruin the lives of Vietnam veterans. Now they condemn how bad that was, but they continue the same thing by starting violence at Trump rallys and mock anybody with a right wing opinion. May these fucks go the fuck away forever! Older fads may be dead, but they are more classy than the hipster trash that never goes away. Shove the nasty, judgemental attitude up your skinny brainless ass, along with your soy bean latte!
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