I want to be that perfect guy, and that's the shit that's holding me back. I'm not a fucking idiot. I scored a 2350 on the SATs and I was admitted to Mensa. But what is killing me is school. I don't want to be that person who studies hard for his grades. I want to score straight A's without putting over 10 minutes into studying, then rub it into the faces of my peers to demonstrate my ultimate superiority who probably spent 3 hours of their night working for good marks. I want to rub it in like the smug motherfucker that I am.
Most of you might guess that my plan is not working so well. I'm barely scraping by. Most nights, I don't even open my backpack. The thing is I WANT good grades but I can't seem to give up my perfectionist tendencies and it's PISSING ME OFF TO THE MAX
im angry cause im super fat im 235-245 pounds i stick on a diet for like two days than my very thin sister ruins it w/ nasty fried chicken and shit eeww and i fall for it every time.... and you know what i have no one to blame but myself im a fat tub of lard and i did it to myself i throw up and dont eat i've tried every thing but im still a lardo hhmm one time i droped 30 pounds in a month from barely eating or throwing up and as soon as i droped the last pound i found out i was pregos.... needless to say i gained it back and more so (i stopped my harmfull behavior when i found out i was prego) now a full year later i want to lose it again and i will do it by smoking, barfing, and not eating ....... as mick folley once said "have a nice day!"
I'm a fucking loser. Everytime something starts to go well in my life I fuck it up by not trusting anyone. This has affected me negatively in every relationship that I've ever had. I'm now a single, loser who looks like a fucking skeleton because I've been taking such bad care of myself. I'm trying to get my life on track but I know I'm going to fuck it up again. I give up. I just don't care anymore.
Why am I such an idiot? Yes, yet again I think I'm falling in love with someone online. He 'loves' me too, but I can't tell him because my sister will rip the shit out of me. He lives 2 hours away, which isn't too bad, but he's gone and found himself a girl that lives about 5 minutes away. Yeah, he must really have strong feelings for me, huh? He says he doesn't want to hurt me by dating her, well guess what? IT DOES FUCKING HURT. I just want to be happy for once in my shitty life.
God i hate being short... it sucks when all the girls you like i a whole fucking head taller than you. It's fucking humiliating. I mean I eat my vegetables and I drink milk, well soy unfortunately, and I CAN'T FUCKING GROW!!!!! Do you know how awkward it is when the chick you're with is 6 inches taller than you?! Can you imagine how weird it is kissin a chick taller than you?! It's weird! Man if I were only half a foot taller I'd be so much happier and a how lot less picked on. Being short, AND being a Freshman... horrific.
im angry because i really like this girl ella but she hates me maybe if i wasent such a ugly piece of shit she would like me its not my fault im ugly i didnt fucking choose to be ugly anyway i always dream about her shes always im my thoughts im going fucking crazy because i cant stop thinking about her last year this kid told her that i liked her and she freaked out well fuck it ive failed at everything so far why would this be any different im a failure at life i should probably do everyone the favor and kill myself
I waste every day at my job to essentially surf the net and not get shit done...so I stay late out of guilt and scramble to do enough so I don't get fired.
If I wasn't such a screw-up I could do my job really well and still have time to do what I want in the evenings, but instead I fool around, get tired and don't make any money. Meanwhile, my family is almost broke because I'm such a fuckup and I masterbate multiple times a day from looking at porn.
I'm getting out of shape also because I'm spending too much time "working" and don't have time to exercise. Bullshit. Just a little self discipline and I could be in shape, feel great, and have plenty of money.
I'm pissing my life away on the net. UUUUUGGGGHHHHHH!!!
I'm a musician. I can't get a stupid technique right. I hate it.
I hate it. I hate it.
My private voice teacher is a stupid idiot.
She doesn't pay attention to my struggling, and instead avoids it. Grrrrrrrrrrr..............
I suck at playing sax....grrrr.....
I can't get a good, clean sound.
I'm...just...frustrated. And angry. And...
Listen, I'm truly a piece of shit. Girls don't like me. Everybody likes me but girls. I'm beginning to think that I'm fucking hideous, because I can't get a girlfriend. Oh, I forgot, I'm fucking stupid also. My grades fucking suck, I'm fucking lazy, and have no responsibility. My family is fucking delusional, they think I am just fine, a great kid to have, they're fucking wrong. Fuck, I actually have a good amount of friends, but girls completely fucking ignore me. In my opinion, the only, I repeat, ONLY reason I am on this earth is to play baseball. That is the only thing I am good at. That is the only thing I will ever be good at. That's all I have in my life. I have nothing else in my life to look forward to, but baeball. I won't get married, no girl would ever want to be with me. I know I shouldn't, but I often blame God for making me like this. He made me into a complete waste of a human. I don't understand....
I am angry at myself; well, my body specifically. I am seriously underweight for my height according to the traditional BMI standards. All I see when I look in the mirror is bones and angles and it really upsets me. People have accused me of having such eating disorders as anorexia and bulimia. More creative people have suggested that I may have AIDS or TB. I think I am horrifically ugly. My self-esteem is non-existent. I don't choose to be so thin; I've always eaten well and I do indulge occasionally. For a lot of people it isn't a choice to look this way. I've recently embarked on a sincere weight gain and toning effort. I shall see how it goes.
I have no real friends, I fuck up everything, and apparently I'm fucking worthless until somebody needs money. I fucking suck
I am so *angry* at myself! I hate myself! Every damn day I say that I will start dieting tomorrow and I NEVER FUCKING DO! I just come home, stuff my face until I feel as though I will EXPLODE and say I will start tomorrow. Then, the next day I end up feeling like shit from the day before and I just eat more. It makes me so fucking angry. I hope that some day as I stuff my face, giving up once again, I have a fucking heart attack and die. I'm so ugly and pale and freckled and fat. I have a shitty personality and I hate people, but I hate being alone at the same time. I am in love with this man, but he doesn't love me. I am a worthless scummy piece of shit. All I do is watch t.v. I already gave my virginity to this slut of a man. I'm just going to grow up and contribute to this shit hole of a society by working in an office everyday and coming home to my t.v. again. I'm such a boring space-wasting piece of shit. I hope when I go to sleep tonight, I don't wake up.
Right now my parents could be having the time of their lives with a decent home, five successful children that they could boast to the world, and their only worry would be whether or not they should build a pole barn in the back yard. Unfortunately they still have me. I'm nineteen years old with no job, no vehicle, and going to school full-time with my father paying for two years. I have failed a college course, enraged my father, and have put my mother in emotional jeopardy because I am so utterly dependent. The word hate does not even define how I feel about myself. I shouldn't even exist, and I don't want to if it would make everything better for them.
I can't do anything right. I had a great friend and ruined it in a way I wish I knew what happened because everything was fine, and I even made a visit for a week cross country with nothing said. Don't act like s*t is ok when it's not. Got a friggen problem, TELL ME. Don't sit on it for over a month after I leave, ignore me when I ask if everything is ok, and wonder how to not hurt my feelings by bringing something up. Let me know so I'm not wondering what the hell is going on. I'd rather know than wonder why they're ignoring me. Grow a pair will ya? Good grief. Honesty damnit. Friends should be up front with friends, not pussyfoot around issues. Real friends will understand and go on with the "relationship". F*n spit it out and move on damnit. Seems other than my fiance who I don't see too often, I must turn people off since it seems nobody wants to talk to me. I am a caring person who doesn't ask for much other than friendship and a "hey how are you" and a little conversation every once in awhile and I'm always the one to initiate a conversation with people. Makes me wonder if I'm really friends with these people or they just be nice to me not to hurt my feelings. Again, grow a pair. Wanna be friends or not? Friends usually talk or just say hi how are ya more than once a millennium. After this last event, I'm never getting close to anyone like that ever again. It hurts like hell and now I wish I'd never met this person and they were my best/closest friend. While it is not a fight and we still wanna be friends to a point, but I'm not going outta my way to be there when needed anymore. I give up. I'm sick of hearing "you're a nice and caring person, but..". I try to be a good friend and listener but am sick of getting f*d over. I'm such an idiot for even caring about some people. I never learn. I'm done caring for people as much as I do. Honestly I'm not a complainer, but damn I'm friggen so angry right now I could put my hand thru a wall. Venting here is a better idea. Thanks angry.net. And fml.
don't know which catagory this appropriately fits into:i'm angry that i've always thought and felt younger than my real age and i hung out with younger people than then myself most of my life and dated people younger than myself..i'm actually angry about the fact and depressed as well)that i'm now 54 and still think and act and feel 20 years younger.i don't like hanging with or meeting old fogies my age and discussing stupid things like the new addition to their front porch that they built saturday and stuff like that.gee what a cool life they must have when that's the hilite of their month!by appearance i look to be in my mid late 30's still.sure younger girls hit on me but how long does that last when they find i'm 54!!most people my age can't even climb a fence anymore but i still love going on rides at the theme parks and am into current music like green day,flyleaf,etc(and 80's stuff of course)/.the younger group accepts me only til they find out how old i am.i don't have much in common at all with my own age group!i'm always alone!i'm angry..lonley..and well..that's it.
I cannot stand myself. Infact, I hate myself. I do not feel as if I were an actual person because I cannot relate to myself, I hate almost everything I do, just about all of my actions and I have the feeling I don't even know why I act like I act and do what I do because I have no real connection to myself and I FUCKING hate myself for this confusion. It's as if I had a split personality, an ever-ongoing conflict of two stupid assholes who cannot stand each other one damn bit at all and who are yet forced to forever live together in a crammed room where one person is already almost too much - but TWO of them? I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it and I hate myself for hating it because it all seems so very pointless - I mean, as I said, I can't even relate to myself, I don't even have the feeling that I am something that qualifies as a person, I feel "incoherent" and I also act that way, I shift from one fragmented personality to another constantly. I truly envy people who seem confident with themselves, who can name certain traits of their character which are positive and those that are negative or need improvement or whatever - and I hate THEM, too, for behaving in front of me like it would be completely natural and easy to have opinions, mindsets and outlooks on life of their very own. And of course, it probably is at least natural even if it weren't easy for them and most other people in this world, but it isn't for me and yet it seems that it would make only absolute sense if I could be that way too, yet I am not for reasons I cannot grasp or even try to understand and I hate myself EVEN MORE for that. I hate the fact that I don't know who I am and I hate the fact that all possibilities I've tried until now in my twenty-five years of life to identify myself as a person (and believe me, I tried a lot, from religion to politics to philosophy and whatnot), I REALLY hate it that nothing seems to work (except nothing, which works just fine at being a fathomless pit that I cannot climb out of), I hate it that I have the feeling I'll possibly never really live or develop as a human being while I would LOVE nothing more than having the feeling to be human being with emotions other than a deep and constant feeling of alienation and self-hatred (often I believe that I am not even truly capable of self-pity or the likes as I mostly just feel numb and hollow when I am not aggravated by myself) and envy of my surroundings. The only thing I can do is fake being a person, and so I turn out to be a wholly different person around every other human being (hell, I'm probably not "honest" or "true" at this moment on this anonymous website, I always feel that I am somehow being strangely dishonest or whatever appropriate word there could be for this condition, I feel adrift and as if any outspeaking of my mind has no value because it has no constance and duration whatsoever - or at least that is the way that I perceive it). And see? "As I perceive it": I don't even know if that what I am saying about myself is of any truth or reality at all. And I FUCKING HATE IT. The only thing I am certain of knowing is the frustration which is closely linked to whatever I am.
I fucking hate myself!! I hate that I cant be who I ant to be!! I hate that I have to be responsible. I FUCKING HATE MYSELF... I HATE THESE PPL I LIVE WITH, I HATE HOW THEY'VE MENTALLY FUCKED ME AND THEN LEAVE ME TO CLEAN UP THE PIECES... i HATE THAT IM SO FUCKING DEPRESSED!!!!!! i hate that I cant fucking cry... god help me I fucking wish I could just die! How great would it be if I went to sleep and never woke up? I wish I had the strenth to just fucking end the suffering and die
I will never be good enough. I am smart ( I tested out of my freshmen English class which only 8% of all students do ad scored a 1500 out of 1600 on my SAT ), strong ( I tied my school shot record of 32 ft and almost tied the discus record with 103'9"), and I'm creative ( I won best in show for my school's art show). And yet, my sixteen year old sister is more popular, has had multiple boyfriends, and can get just about any guy that she wants. And me? Well, since she is the "pretty sister", she has had all the attention. And I have been rejected by every guy I've ever asked out except one, who is befitting of the title "complete sociopath". What I want to know is .... WHY THE HELL AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH ?!?
I'm such a shit person, 17 and I have no friends & I've never had a boyfriend, I fell SO ABNORMAL AND WORTHLESS. I would rather experience heartbreak and all that emotional stuff then nothing at all. I'm just a shell of a person with no personality posting at a ridiculous time on some lame website for angry middle-aged losers whilst waiting for LOST to load. I FUCKING HATE MYSELF AND MY SHITTY AWKWARD BEHAVIOUR.
I fucking hate myself. I'm so fucking fat and feel like shit but don't do anything about it because when I get home at night all I do is drink so I don't have to think about how fat I am.
why the fuck am i always such a dickhead to my girlfriend i love her with all my heart but i treat her like shit she dont deserve it she deserves someone much better than me.
Damn! I just hate my fucking life and myself..My life sucks for quite some time and I just hate myself for not being pretty, smart or rich..at least if I have one of these features, it would certainly help me in my life. I cannot help myself comparing what I lack with other people because they are better than me and most importantly they seem to be very happy and comfortable with their life..surrounded by friends and people. I hate myself because I am not pretty and due to constant depression, my body weight too went up and it would not go down despite what I do.At the moment, my chances for romance or marriage prospect are no where to be seen and pretty bleak too..To tell the truth I have surrendered these two prospects to God entirely and I can accept if I do not meet any opportunities at all..probably it's just my fate to spend my entire life alone on this Earth, and this had affected my self-worth and confidence. I feel like a total loser in life because it seems to be that my life is on a stagnant mode and other people that I know are moving progressively in life, career and marriage. I do not have any of these and I am currently STILL studying (it seems to be a constant battle as well because I am not a very bright student and I always give up half way because I am tired and hate my uni life!) I think I am suffering social anxiety due to many bad experiences in the past..I have terrible issues of trusting someone/people because I have been betrayed and being ridiculed many times over in the past and I found it hard to socialize with people, especially current generation where people give priority towards their own prospects and individuality issues-in order words, most people are confined in their own world and perspective. I feel very lonely and bored about my life. I would not dare to kill myself (yet) due to religion belief and family..but depression is taking a firm hold in my life and it is suffocating..I cannot breath! I just do not know what to do anymore and I wonder when ladyluck will smile upon my luck someday? I know people keep on saying that you yourselves must have the initiative to make changes in your life but without luck, how could initiative be carried out to begin with? I hate it!! Opportunities must be created first before anything else happens-I strongly believe in this but unfortunately my luck in such matter are not that strong..so damn pathetic!
i fucking hate my life goddman i'm so fucking angry, i hate life i want to break your face in you fucking retards this is so stupid that i'm posting this on a website obviously i have no ability to express my anger in a healthy way in real life i'm the biggest fucking loser on the planet and you are the second biggest loser for reading this stupid post about nothing i hate you i hate you i'm fucking depressed i'll always be depressed i have the inability to form real relationships with anyone i have a fear of intimacy i let people walk all fucking over me and i dont say anything i'm poor and broke and i only look back on my life with remorse and regret i'm tired of everything i keep hoping things will get better but they never do its just like day after day after day i'm destined for nothingness and more regret i live my life trying to fix the past i hate everything no one likes me as much as i want them to i'm a terrible person and so are you.
Getting stuck with a room mate that you hate is an awful experience. They piss you off, but you have to live with them every day, so you have to deal with them constantly. Now, imagine that that room mate is you, and the room is your head. That about sums it up for me.
I wake up, look in the mirror to brush my teeth, and wonder what blind, deaf, and dumb person could ever love, hell, even like a face like mine. Red as a baboons butt, strewn with acne, beady eyes, a dagger for a chin, a bulbous nose, deformed cheekbones, and hairy friggin' eyebrows. Lets not even get into the fact that my stomach just out father than my tiny friggin' boobs.
I'm absolutely the most selfish person I know. I'm a complete and utter bitch, I'm manipulative and deceitful, rude, obnoxious, immature, annoying, gluttonous, and weak-minded. There is not a single person I cannot stand being around as much as myself.
i'm so fucking irritated at the world right now! why are people so god damn selfish?! all i need is help, i need someone to be there for me, and all that anyone can talk about is THEIR issues, THEIR lives, THEIR problems, or an "i'm sorry, that sucks, but i have blah blah blah, etc. going on" and they just try to compete with me! AM I SERIOUSLY INVISIBLE??? i am tired of being the nice, sweet, friendly girl!! i'm always there for YOU! WHY CAN'T YOU BE THERE FOR ME? you ditched me when my dad died, you make everything about you, you ignore me, insult me and make fun of me, you always compare my problems to yours, is it really that hard to stop being so selfish and just LOVE AND CARE ABOUT THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU??
i can't always be there for you! i can't always be so damn strong all the time! i can't always be NICE AND FRIENDLY AND SWEET. THIS IS ME BEING, OR AT LEAST TRYING, TO GET THROUGH TO YOU! AND YOU, EVEN THE ONE WHOS READING THIS, PROBABLY WON'T EVEN CARE! YOU'LL LAUGH, YOU'LL SAY "I'M SORRY :[" AND THAT'S IT!!!
WHAT ABOUT ME!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHH
*Note from Anger Central
You almost became invisible here. We flipped a coin on whether to include this whine or not.
I am angry at myself because I feel that I am just not living up to be a very compassionate and decent human being. I get too frustrated and overwhelmed at work, and then it spills out on to everyone around me in an ugly demonstration that afterwards leaves me embarrassed and ashamed. There are times that I wish I could just hide from everything and everyone. I am also angry at myself that I cannot seem to overcome the negativity and pissed-off-ness in general that is causing an awful lot of grief and distraction in my life. I have no good friends because of my attitude and outlook, but as much as I try to make substantial changes, I blow it in a moment of just acting totally out of control with my anger. This just sickens me to no end and I feel that there is no hope in changing behavior that has become so ingrained that there just is no reason to even try anymore.
I am angry at not being able to find an old friend. I don't know what she currently looks like or where she lives.
I am angry that I recognized her picture from two of my yearbooks, and it's driving me mad knowing I lost one of my best friends.
If only she hadn't of moved away a decade ago...
It seems like the good old days were in the late 1990's. I was just a kid that moved into a new suburban neighborhood after my parents got divorced.
Life got much better, as I befriended plenty of people. Every day after boring school we would play outside all evening. It seemed like time never existed, a few hours felt like like an endless dream of riding bikes, running down the sidewalk, and catching lightning bugs in the dark.
What happened? At the end of the century, my friends moved away. One killed himself, and another got murdered by a drug dealer. Then 9/11 happened and the entire nation went into a downward spiral.
Can't we all just go back to the good old days? Everybody, please stop being cynical and just go back. No matter it's faults, the 1990's were a billion times better than the cesspool we are wading through today.
I am tired of this bull shit. I am so fat and fucking ugly I'm an old lazy fat fuck. My nose is the size of Mt Everest. I have a pizza face. I don't really think I have an IQ, but if I did it would be very very low. like negative billion. My so called friends always told me my life means nothing. I tried to commmit suicide, but I failed. Who the fuck fails at that. I'm too stupid to even kill myself. So I guess I should have a smart person kill me. I guess I will go now. Goodbye.
I am so fcking angry at my self because I can never do anything right, I'm the laziest worthless piece of nothing that doesn't deserve to be brought into this world, and I'm always the one causing my own problems!!
I get angry all the time so I eat and eat but I've been trying not to overeat so much, but I just do it anyway which makes me feel so weak and pathetic and WORTHLESS that I get angry all over again! WTF!! I'm going to be 300 lbs by the end of this year!!
I have a huge chunk of an essay due this week, and I had my whole 2-week Christmas break to do it and I did basically nothing. What did I do? I sat around playing games online and ate chocolate and other junk!!! why do I have the least amount of willpower out of everyone in this entire fcking world?!!
I'm angry with myself because I have so much potential to be a good person but instead decide to make shitty ass decisions. I've lost so many opportunities. I am such an awkward loser when I talk with people that I even have a hard time ordering in a drive through, let alone talking to girls.. I can tell they're interested in getting to know one another but I freeze up and stumble over my thoughts/words like a moron. Golly, what I'd give to have a normal convo w/ someone. I tell myself not to worry so much, but its getting to be too damn hard and embarrasing. WTF do i do!!?!
I hate that I am an asshole. I cheated on my wife, and I don't have a good excuse other than that I'm a selfish prick. My wife has decided to stay with me. She's angry with me but says that she still loves me. I don't know how she can. I hate myself for what I did. I hate that I'm selfish. I'm 31 and this is not where I planned to be in my life. I feel like I have nothing but really good aquintances, but no real friends. I haven't felt like I have had anyone to talk to about how I really feel. I can't keep confiding in my wife because it's making it hard for her to cope. My wife has a lot of friends that are there for her. I'm jealous of what she has. I hate living this way. I wish that my wife never married me so she wouldn't have to go through what I've put her through. Part of me wishes that she would have left me so she could just move on and have me out of her life. I feel like I have nothing good to offer anyone. I wish that I never existed in the first place. I know that is something that teenagers say to get back at their parents, but I really wish that I could just go to sleep-never wake up-and not have anyone notice. I wish my wife could just be happy. I don't think that I can make her happy. I'm angry with myself and nothing else.
I'm fourteen years old. I'm a freshman in high school. Now let me tell you why I suck so much.
I listen to what other people say about being yourself, but when I am myself people call me annoying, say I talk too much, and tell me to shut up and hate me. What did I do to them? What did I do to you? Being sensitive doesn't help either, because one insult can bring my mood down completely and I'll sit there holding back tears for the rest of the day. As a matter of fact, it happened just today. One of my closest friends told me that "You need to stop being so hyper. When you are, you're so fucking annoying. It's like... God!" It didn't help when I got picked up from school by my dad that day, he asked me why I looked so mad. I don't want to talk about it, dad. Just drop it. Don't bitch at me about how we 'never talk' because you're too busy, always downstairs watching your stupid TV and yelling at mom to cook dinner.
There's another thing: my family. My mom is an alcoholic. Oh boo hoo, poor me. Yeah, well it doesn't help with my socially awkwardness either. I probably inherited some of her psycho mental illnesses, which is why she drinks anyways. I hate it when she's drunk. All she does is bitch at me about how much of a failure I am in school (that's another thing to rant about), about how horrible her life is, about how much we mistreat her, and a whole bunch of other crap.
Now, school. Ever since third grade, I've been a complete failure. I would always tell myself that I would do better in school, but I never fall through. I don't like homework. Fuck homework. I don't even like going to school. I'd rather go to cyber school. At least there I won't have to worry about people thinking I'm an annoying brat. Sometimes, you know, I just don't GET it! I can sit there and actually be listening to what the teacher is saying but it just doesn't process. But I'm so concerned about what other people think about me, I'm afraid that I'll look like an idiot if I ask for help. Who gives a shit about what others think? I do. Way too much. Don't even tell me not to care because it's in my nature and it has been since birth. Now, I'm in high school, and everything actually MATTERS. It's not like in middle school where, even if you failed, the school wouldn't care and would push you forward anyways. I have to work harder but I just can't. I don't have motivation. Looking to the future and seeing myself as some homeless bum doesn't motivate me either.
Now one of my biggest problem... relationships. Oh, yes... love is such a bullshit emotion. I'm only fourteen. I don't know what love is, but I already feel like giving up on it. I don't date people I've actually met. I look to the internet for people, because that seems to be where all the people who I can actually connect with are. I know, I'm such a loser. But every guy I've met wouldn't date me anyways, remember? I'm annoying. I've only had one relationship and it only lasted two weeks because the guy couldn't control his temper and got my friends all pissed off. I didn't even want to break up with him. Then, I had this other guy telling me he thought he loved me. I started having feelings for him too. He was sweet and he made me feel happy when I was in the unhappiest of moods. Then, I find out today that he got back together with an ex of his. No wonder he stopped talking to me two days ago. Well, thanks, asshole. I'm gonna go build a concrete wall around my heart so I can keep people like you OUT, so you can stop making me hurt so much.
I can just hear people screaming, "Go cry, emo kid!" from their computer screens. Ah, fuck my life.
I'm just pissed off with things going great for everyone else except me. I'm pissed at myself for failing and having to repeat the year. I'm pissed at my uni for allowing this to happen and not offering me counseling once it did (cause I got fucking depressed as I expect anyone else in my position would) and I fucking hate having to be continually told I'm ugly, fat and stupid by my mother who actually is all of these things. I'm a medical student. I've done modeling and my BMI is 23 (which is freaking healthy). She's just a bitch but I'm angry with myself for sometimes taking her seriously. And yeah, I know the world doesn't owe me anything but I'm still fucking angry with all you motherfuckers out there. I hope you all die (which history suggests you will)
I am angry at myself for not being able to let go and more on! Why do I still care? and why can I not let go?! Every day I think of you and when I dream of you I wake up and feel sick, I know that you won't be feeling the same, you told me after a few weeks that you were moving on, its 6 years later and my life is stuck and can not move on! I never fell out of love with you, I never lost respect for you and I never stopped caring for you, I needed you to see me, speak to me, be my friend but you told me you wanted to have a clean break. I lost ox mind, I lost my best friend, I just wanted to see if you were well, but you just ignored me! You told me you had never loved someone like this before, you said I was the one, you wanted me in your life forever,a s soon as I showed you my weakness you ran away from me, as I fell apart you fell out of love, as my heart broke yours looked elsewhere when my hair fell out you ignored my messages, I Don't blame you, I don't hate you, I just Don't understand you! you chose your band and have gone far you look happy as you are, I wish my heart would let me move on as I feel like my future has gone! I am so scared that I will be old and alone with all to think about was the lost love of my life.
I HATE MYSELF! Most of the time I'm eatings, i'm insanely overweight, but somehow not obese yet, I have ache, and fucked up teeth, I have a motherfucking eye disease and need classes too see clearly, my mom says i'm beautiful, but that's only because she's my mom. Nobody loves me except my parents, and i'm not so sure about that, i'm laughed at and picked on literally 60 times a day, whenever I stand up for myself they laugh. I have NO self esteem and always fantisize about being somebody else! KILL ME NOW!
im 14. that should mean i have a decent life, right? WRONG! im worthless. all i do is sleep in until 4pm, and play xbox. or watch tv. or use a computer. i have no friends to hang with. i actually want to go back to school and be off this damn break. the only thing im really good at is making music on my computer, but ive hit a brick wall with that. id love to spend a day or 2 in san diego, but my folks are so swamped with work to pay for our basics and give 35000 dollars a year to my dad's bitch of an ex wife. we are literally millimeters away from relying on the government, which my folks dont want. im so sick of being a lazy good-for-nothing, but dont have it in me to commit suicide, because i know how much money, time, and love my family has put into me, and i just couldn't do that to them. mabye i just want to do something more worthwile with my time, or mabye i want to do something with my folks. but right now all i want to do is die. blegh.
Everytime I think my ideas are dumb! Everytime I speak I am wrong! Everytime I try something I fail!
I have never known someone who can so consistently screw up no matter how fool proof something is or how many times I have been warned to stop what I'm doing before I get myself into trouble.
I now watch as the money my parents set up for college runs out because I continue to fail classes, I watch as the company I have tried to start fail, I watch as my friends all begin to settle down with someone and we drift farther apart.
Alas but all is not lost, I still pursue my impossible dreams.
I am an angry, depressed, and pessimistic 16 year old boy who feels like he fucks up everything. I am 6'3" and alright weight-wise, but my face is fucking ugly. And i think that's one of the reasons women turn me down all the time. I am also the nice guy who gets walked over by everyone, and women obviously don't find that attractive, but i don't know how the hell to change that. If i do try to change, i might get a plan together but it never lasts long, i don't stick with it, and nothing ends up changing. I lack motivation to do anything, so how the hell am i supposed to change? Everything i do just feels.. pointless to me so i don't want to do it. I have final exams all next week and i haven't studied at all, and i should be studying right now, but im so fucking stupid and self-destructive that i waste my time ranting to people on the internet that more than likely could care less about my life. I tell myself i'll do stuff and i never do it. I could have a 4.5 GPA if i tried, but i just don't care at all.. My work ethic is nearly nonexistent. I'm ruining my future slowly, but its just that i don't care. I lack the desire to do anything about it.. Im afraid that as soon as i get out of highschool im just gonna be lonely and miserable forever because quite honestly, im lonely and miserable right now.
I try really hard to get a girlfriend, but i always end up disappointed and rejected. And im so sick and tired of being lonely and depressed, but what the hell am i supposed to do about it? I was actually told by a girl, that i was crazy in love with, that any girl would be lucky to have me because im so special. This was literally the the only beacon of light in the darkness that is my life. But the next fucking day, she tells me to back off a little because she's dating someone. That someone happened to be one of my close friends. So i not only lost a girl i thought i loved, i lost one of my few actual friends. (I recently moved to a new state..again.. so it's very difficult for me to keep making friends.) Thanks a whole fucking lot for getting my hopes up to destroy them and leave me devastated and even more depressed than before.
To be honest, i'm completely tired of living altogether. I feel like literally nothing i do matters, so why bother? I have no motivation, no hope, nothing. I dont care about my future. I dont care about anything i dont think. All i do is sit here and feel sorry for myself, which only makes things worse. The only thing keeping me from killing myself is my family.. and it's not because they love me a lot, it's just because I'm too loyal and caring to kill myself because my family would be saddened, and i don't want to inflict pain on them. I don't want to inflict pain on anyone because i sure as hell am tired of having pain inflicted on me every day of my damn life.
I am perpetually discontent with life, and i've been depressed for a long time. I kinda want to kill myself, but i don't want to inflict pain on my family.. I just don't what the hell i can do other than stay living this miserable life and be sad and lonely forever. What am i supposed to do?..
Im so damn angry because I cannot appreciate life. I have an amazing girlfriend, and some good friends, but I still manage to have attractions to other girls and I always think people are laughing at me. I get drunk too much and people think I'm a complete dick. I cannot work out why, but I hate myself. Why am I feeling this way?
Things seem to be falling apart for me. My depression is coming back, I can't find a job, and the love of my life doubts I can help her through her depression. It hurts me to know she thinks that, but she's probably right. It seems as if I can't do anything right, and that I'm a worthless sack of shit. I found out recently that I have anxiety problems. I promised myself I'd stop drinking and taking drugs, but I can't keep that much longer. Looks like I'll be crying myself to sleep tonight because I'm a huge pussy. Thank you, to those who cared enough to read this. Goodnight.
I seem to have it all: a college degree in the sciences, a great career, and the respect of many. I am responsible, proactive, empathetic and well-read. Even with all of the good qualities I know I have, I am married to a man who takes me for granted; his children take me for granted as well. His daughter gives me attitude constantly, but when I say something that "hurts her feelings" one time, I am the worst step mother ever. My husband, his kids, and their mother vilify me because they can't see that their behavior is completely unacceptable, though impartial outside observers have voiced this to me AND to them.
I've done a lifetime of good and I try my best to live by the Golden Rule and teach this to the children. But I make ONE mistake and I am the most evil person to walk this Earth in their eyes. The reason I hate myself and not them? Because I LET THIS HAPPEN.
My girlfriend pointed out that I'm a self centered prick. I thought about it and shes right. When the hell did I become such a douche? It pisses me off that Ive become the very thing I hate about society. At times I'm completely oblivious of the world around me. How long have I been like this?
I am so mad. I have try to open three Businesses. Not one DAM phone call. I am tried. I went to school for real estate . I did not pass the test. I took the test like 4 times. I am so tried of begin broke. I guess i really just want to die. I am tried of living in this world. It is to hard for me. I am just tried. NO one cares. about me.
I want to rant because I'm always feeling bad about myself, comparing myself to others and it ends up in a vicious circle. Whenever I see someone prettier than me, better at what I like ( drawing for example) than me, it drives me mad with envy. I hate myself for having these feelings that seem to pile up. I feel really dirty.
I could feel like hating a pretty girl just because I'm not as pretty myself. And when that happens, I think that I should get hurt, I should get punished for being like that. I feel like making my skin bleed and destroying my body anyway I could. Because it would be easier to feel hurt than keeping feelings bad like that all the time about myself. I am fucking disgusted with myself for just a stupid reason, I can't accept not to be as good as I wish to be.
I'm only 20 years old and I already wish I was dead. The only good thing in my life is my baby girl, but she'd probably be better off without my anyway. I don't want her to turn out as screwed up as I am. I hate my life. I'm trapped in this house 24/7 with nothing to do. I have no friends. At all. I'm so depressed all the time and I don't have any money for therapy or medication so I started smoking. It helped for like a month but now I'm right back where I started. I can't even talk to my husband about my problems because he always blows me offf like it's just all in my head and I'll get over it, like I'm just being dramatic for attention. No. You have no idea what I go through every freaking day. There have been so many times where I've tried to end it and you just pretend like nothing's happened. Like you can see my scars you insensitive f*cking jerk.
I'm just so tried of trying I don't know what to do anymore. I can't lose any weight no matter what I do. I don't have money to buy clothes that fit me right so I don't look like a disgusting pig. I just feel empty all of the time. I don't enjoy anything anymore...fml.
*Note from Anger Central
We can't do to much other than to observe and make some suggestions. It sounds like you have a classic case of postpartum depression. Please understand that you are not alone in this. Also, there is no way your husband can understand this. We only know about it because the Webmaster likes to read about everything. Please look this up on the Internet. Look at Brooke Shields. She had a horrible case after her first child was born. There should be support groups out there that can help you and it won't cost anything.
Oh, give up the cigarettes. They really aren't good for you are your baby. :)
Im fat. I am angry because I am fat. I dont blame anyone for my condition but my own fat self. and even if i was a fat child that grandma would stuff cookies down my throat, im old enough now to where i could do something about it! Im tired of crying becaue i cant find a man who will love me for me, but who wants my fat ass? Im angry because most of you are right about hating us, why should we even be allowed to walk this earth, taking up so much space, huh? well..guess what? Jesus loves me, just the way that I am. and if you dont like it, then take it up with him. Thank you for reading my rant....GOD BLESS.
Unfortunately the majority of my sophomore year of high school was me going through that cliche phase of self discovery, but the best part was what I found.
Self destruction can really take you places. You might soon find yourself failing your classes, destroying relationships (yours and others's), losing friends, alienating your parents - oh and alienating yourself.
I'm a fucking narcissist is what I found. I'm only nice to people because of the reciprocal effect - which I often take advantage of. I can't help hating myself because I'm so easy to hate. And this isn't even the kind of weepy dramatic self loathing where you're upset with yourself for not being good enough because you won't apply yourself. No, this is reasonable.
I'm just a horrible person. Just can't try to combat my nature anymore. That's where the self destruction came in. I tried to be good for my girlfriend, parents, friends; I tried to become something I am not and it tore me apart. I lost control. I got angry and lost and paranoid and delusional and stupid. Take a circle and try to bend it into a square - it breaks.
But now that I'm just being myself.
I've applied myself, I'm getting good grades, I'm using my time to study things I'm interested in...
And everyone hates me.
I'm stuck with a job i hate so fucking much, a high stress, low paying job. Guys don't think i am worthy enough to have a relationship with just good for meaningless sex then after makes it clear thats all they wanted. I hate myself with a fucking passion, I am so ugly and people aren't shy about letting me know, I wear tons of makeup but it doesn't help whatsoever,I mostly keep my head down in public and don't look anyone in the eye. If I was smart maybe being ugly wouldn't be so bad but I'm not, not even average, I'm afraid to talk to people because I'm scared I might say something dumb so I keep to myself, I'm just a waste of life, to cope with my worthlessness I down alcohol like water everytime I find the opportunity, just a sad waste of an existence.
Every little thing has conspired to piss me the FUCK OFF as of late. Just a few examples...
1. hubby went into the hospital for the 9,523,643,832nd time since late June 2009. I barely ate, barely slept, and ended up getting hounded by some guy I barely fucking knew off the Internet, to let him come over and help clean my house. Being in the state of mind that I was in, if I had been living in Antarctica, you could have sold me a goddamn snow cone. I let him come over, and I ended up getting raped. I reported it to the police after getting my wits together. Guess what? Over 5 hours, Officer Friendly badgered me to say it was consensual and then he would take me home (hubby had checked himself out by this time) Now, I get to stand trial for falsifying a police report. Guess they just didn't feel like doing their fucking jobs >:(
2. my kids, have always been a handful, but now they are just really fucking mouthy and disrespectful. I can't believe my son telling me to say I was sorry for taking away the puppy after he was caught abusing it. Oh man I was enraged, I got up and smacked him right upside the head while yelling "I'M SORRY!!!!" Can't wait to see what its going to be like when he enters Jr. High. argh.
3. The dog had her puppies finally but my roommate thinks I owe him a puppy!!! eh??? what the fuck gave you that impression? Especially considering that not once have you ever volunteered to pick up one chunk of dog crap, or clean one puddle of dog vomit, or feed the dogs, water the dogs, walk the dogs, let them out, let them in, bathe them etc. etc. etc. ad nauseam... and you don't even have a permanent place to call your own. I owe you a puppy... WHY??!? and the reason your pompous ass is dating my 17 year old is because.... NO ADULT WOMAN WILL PUT UP WITH YOUR SHIT. Yes, I know, fuck you, the truth hurts don't it.
Well anyway there is much more but I am really tired now. Old age and terminal illness is really beginning to catch up with me. Must smoke another cigarette, pop open the beer, and ponder my end. Thank you.
Me, I'm 17. I fucking hate me. I've never had any kind of positive impact on this world. I've been a scrawny weak little fuck since I could speak. (6'3", and 132 lbs) I've never had a good friend... I let people push me, walk on me, put me down, and I try to tell myself that I don't care, but If that were true, then why the fuck would I care about all the stupid little things I let get to me? I can't do anything in front of a group of people without turning into a shaky little retarded nervous fuck. If a pretty girl even looks at me I get nervous. I like to think that I will soon change, but I fucking doubt it. I'm a complete fuck up. I've been getting F's in school since 6th grade. I don't believe I've made my parents proud since elementary school. Shit, I'm pretty sure I've made my mom cry more times than I've made her really smile. I'm a stupid, fuck ugly, disrespectful little waste. No girl has ever wanted to be anything more than just a friend with me. And if they have, well I fucked it up. I've never had sex, never had a girlfriend... hell, I've never even kissed a girl. Don't take this as self pity. I don't want help, I don't feel sad, I'm not even sure why I'm writing this on here, but... Hm, I guess the only thing that stops me from putting a bullet in my head, is that I can't do that to my mom. Yeah,I'm only 17, and could have so much more to do in my life and live for, but nah. I'm a waste of food, time, money, energy, and oxygen... My friend, well, he probably didn't consider me a friend, so, this guy I knew shot himself Last Tuesday. I really don't know why... He was cool, good looking, had a beautiful girlfriend, shit loads of friends, an awesome job... just an all around awesome guy. I just keep thinking that should have been me. Trade my life for his? The thought of that really happening actually kinda makes me feel good.
No matter what I turn my hand to, I seem to fuck it up at some point.
I've failed my driving test three times now. Twice it was because of an unfair, bias tutor failing me for no real reason (trust me on this, it was validated) and another time I fucked it up.
I just took it today, again.
Everyone was behind me, saying I'd pass.
I'd done everything I going to prepare.
But did I pass?
No I fucking didn't.
I failed again.
I let people down I wasted ALOT of fucking money and the time and effort gone into it was futile because I can't drive fucking perfectly.
So yes. I hate myself for it. I feel like shit.
I would like nothing more than my head to be slammed into a brick wall until there is nothing left.
The sad fact is that I know suicide is selfish and I probably don't have the balls for it anyway. So how the fuck do I cope exactly?
I'm not doing the test again, I've decided that much. No point. At least most of my failures aren't at such an expense so if I can save hundreds by giving up, I will.
I already hated myself after the past three failures and every time, on top of everything else, It just gets worse.
There are literally no words for how much I hate myself for being such a hopeless pathetic fucking failure who can't do anything right.
And I've no fucking clue how to deal with that.
The vicious circle keeps coming around for various reasons and it's just unbearable. I don't deserve fucking anything and I can't deal with it.
*Note from Anger Central
Was this the written or the road test? Mrs. Webmaster aced her written test but failed the road test 3 times before finally passing. On the other hand, if you're that bad, we all feel safer with you not on the road. ;)
I'm angry cause at 33 I'm completely worthless. I'm fairly intelligent & look halfway decent but years of being an underachiever have set me on the wrong track. I had a failed relationship that lasted 10 years. In it, I became an abusive man who took he depression out on the one person who I could depend on. I ruined all that and turner her into an angry demon of a woman who now mentally abusive to our 10 year old daughter. I'm unemployed with no skills, no degree, no nothing.
I'm so disconnected from everyone, my family doesn't even like me & I feel my anti social behavior is rubbing off onto my daughter. I smoke a ton of weed & starve myself. I'm never really happy, the weed just makes me think I am for a short amount of time. The only joy in my life comes from my daughter. Too bad I'm such a fuck up I can never be the kind of father she deserves. I end most of nights crying myself to sleep thinking I'd prolly hurt alot less if I was dead. But I can't leave my daughter alone with a mother who doesn't know how to love her.
I am SO god damn ANGRY at myself!! I hate that I let my grades fall down from A's and now I can't seem to get back there. I waste all my time watching animes and don't study till it's too late. My parents have provided with everything I've ever asked for, then WHY am I like this?! I know I can do better but I just can't find the will to do so. And that's what makes me angry. I'm ruining my life!! I BLOODY HATE MYSELF!! FUCK ME!
I am a totally worthless person. All I can do is sit on my ass and wine and cry. And I do that because I don't want to live since I don't see ane sence in life at all. I got accepted to a chemistry college this year, and I pretty much hate most of my classes. Not because I think that the teachers are bad. Or chem is a bad science. No. I'm just fucking stupid. I was always told that I wasn't - having the best grades at school made me believe that I'm actually worth something. Stupid cow, I only made it through high school because of my parents who are intelligent and amazing and helped me with homework and don't deserve such a child. It didn't even come to my mind before I started college and realized what a shitty fucking person I actually am on my own.
Not to mention, I study for free, which means that my government is actually paying for that piece of shit that I am. What a horrible mistake. And I can't even get enough courage to quit because I can never make any significant decisions.
Last week a girl from the college of mine was hit by a car. She was beautiful, played sports and was socially relevant. I'm sure that she liked chem much more than I do. It's a horrible mistake, again. I HAD TO BE THERE instead of her! I wish I could turn the time back and switch places! She's the one who has to be alive; she's a gift to her parents and friends, she had fun in life and things she was good at. I am good at nothing, and I don't want to try anything because I'm tired of trying and even thinking and living because it always brings me to realising the fact of who I am. I can never be useful to anyone; I wish my parents forgot that I exist and I could take a bunch of sleeping pills and end that mess.
P.S. sorry for any mistakes in english that i did, as i said, i suck in everything including foreign languages
*Note from Anger Central
Your English is better then a lot of native speakers.
Why must I be so pathetic at everything I do!? I'm incredibly weak, idiotic, lazy, stupid, fat, ugly, irresponsible. No one likes me. I'll never become anything worthwhile. I'll never be good enough for anyone to notice. Why do I even bother trying?
I don't know I'm fat and I know I am I don't look it but I am over weight. My friends have lives that i desperately cling my self on to the some what social life I do have is all a lie. I go every day putting on a fake smile just wishing this life of a useless fat ass would finally come to an end but to no avail. I try to lose the fat but no matter what I just lose my motivation some times I wonder if I were to die would anyone really notice would my so called friends grumpy shed a tear...I tell my self yes but deep down I know that I'm nothing more then a useless waist of there time. I hate my self so much it hurts but i just don't know what to do or how to deal so untill death comes I'm nothing more then a sack of meat wasteing the oxygen everyone else really needs.
Wasted 5 years of my life, earning a 3 year diploma in 2 years while I wasted another 3 years learning a course I loved but couldn't get anywhere because of how shitty the study environment was, no friends, not a teacher I liked. Was a pretty good student, earning only A and A+, taking my time to help others whenever they were in a pinch, for what? spending months looking for a job, getting in a job/useless internship where 90% of the stuff I learned ain't used, stuff that I am forgetting as the day go by. I am not sure what the hell I'm doing anymore, wake up, go to work, do almost nothing all day long, when i do get something to do, i fuck up.
Love, infatuation, fuck all of that. Hell, i wish i was fucking asexual. Every single girl during high school, woman during college I was infatuated with already have someone else probably better than me in every possible way. Now I am infatuated again, with a woman i admire greatly for every single one of her qualities, funny even, she is not the pretty girls i am usually attracted to, worst even, we are friends, yet I can't even do anything to protect her from the problems she ran into. I am a powerless fool, who can't stand up for his friends in time of needs. I am a waste of space.
I hate myself for being a dumbass and a waste of space.
Because I'm stupid. I want to be smart but I'm too dumb. I want to be loved, but I keep being whorish. I let him walk all over me. I don't know who I am. I only know what I want to be. I'd be better off dead.
Im so damn angry, I just keep losing poker, i cant win because im a cunt. Ive lost so much money on poker and betting sites it unbelievable. Im just shit. Cant do anything. Anything i do turns out shit. Im fucking cursed. And those damn lucky Indians dont work
*Note from Anger Central
How about taking the hint and STOP PLAYING?
I always fucking lose or brake everything i've got! I've had my ipod replaced countless times to the point they won't replace it anymore, i've now lost my fucking new ipod for the second time in two days. I can't fucking find it anywhere! I've been searching for two hours and ended up crying in anger with myself.
i am 22, but i no longer have any will to keep living my life, i would never be able to kill myself but i wish i was never put here in the first place, my entire life especially starting in high school, i neglected everything that could have made a future for myself, instead i dropped out of school, used drugs everyday eventually lead to me becoming a severe addict towards opiates, and then eventually cocaine, now at present day i am a full blown coke/opiate addict, with no girlfriend and no friends, on a subconcious level i know there is no want to keep going, but that is not what i want, or i tell myself that's not what i want... but my life has no sign of getting any better, and there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel, except my death, i sleep everyday, for as long as i possibly can, like almost the entire day. When i am awake i do nothing but stare into space, or looking for drugs to numb my pain of faliur, loneliness, incompetence, and worthlessness as a human being, my guilt for things i never done, and all the things i did do, which hardly seem to be anything that was good but all bad, all i am is useless and i dont think things will ever get better, i havent had a job since almost a year, and every job i ever had i lost, because i was selfish and lazy. the fact that i have no real life, and im always alone... it just hurts, but at the end of the night its nobody's fault but my own, and that makes me hurt even more, because i dont understand how i could have did this to myself, and as everyday goes by every month , and every year, it gets harder and harder... at this rate i already threw away 7 years and i think now its at 8 or 9,
Who i am-
No love life
No motivation, or drive
depressed and mentally damaged
on the verge of not having a home
Life at home is a living hell
parents are in a horrific marriage with a horrific son (me)
frustration because i know that nothing will ever get better
i threw it away and its near impossible because i dont have any strength in mysself
iI FUCKED UP BAD, REAL BAD, when in life all aspects are fucked it truly is better of dead...so for me i hope not to see another day (even if i wished it could have been different)
Okay I hate my ugly pig self. I am barely 16, I am fat ugly, unhealthy, and I fail at everything. I am just so ugly as hell though...even flies move away from me. I go to a charter school because I have social anxiety, and I can't even stand being at a charter school! I wish I was isolated in my own little school. People at school think I'm hideous...my teacher always takes a fucking break during classes (I'm in her class two periods.) whenever she takes a break she makes her students that are in their leave and wait in the hall where I have to look into other people faces with my fucking ugly as shot face. I am unhealthy, have heartburn, I miss too much school, never hass a girlfriend, fuck everything up. One time my mom told me to put gas for her so I put ten dollars and went to pump the gas and I held it wrong so a lot just poured out into the street, and I even took the pump out a little early too, and she ended up getting only a little bit fucking gas because my ugly retarded stupid piece of shit self. I want to kill myself but I'll miss eating, drinking, video games, and other useless shit. I am a weirdo and I feel sorry for food and other objects left in the open. For example if I drop something, and it's just their alone I tell it " I'm sorry, I'll get you somewhere safe don't worry." as I am typing I have heartburn at 5:38 in the morning, and shit I might not go to school AGAIN! Ha what an ugly stupid lard ass loser fuckface. I want to do a school shooting but I'm too much of a coward and I don't want to go to hell. I think I'm going to hell anyways for thinking of it. Haha oh man I hate my ugly loser faggot self. Help. Help my fat shit self. Ha just kidding no one can help this worthless pig here I might as well blow my damn brains out.
i messed up my jobs applications....not 1 but 4....bloody hell whats wrong with me...im so angry at myself....jesus crist....seriously 4???.....n i wait around thininkin why dont i get an interview call...im qulified for the jobs i applied to.....i dont want my boyfreind to think ima worthless loser....
Im a failure at my job. Everyone back at home thinks I'm the bees knees when I'm actually a huge letdown. I'm thick as fuc, unattractive, completely useless at everything I do. The sad fact is I thought that this job I've got would actually improve my standing in general yet everyone around me considers me as just one huge joke. If that's all I am than therefore logicall I should die off like a joke does.
everybody makes me feel like i am a nothing i am only 11 every day people pushing me hitting me. one day a couple of 7th graders push me dowen the stairs. now everyday i want to kill myself but i cant. now everyday i have tp keep my head down if i put it they beat me up and leave me there suffering. I am short and skinny people will throw food at. then i ask myself, why? why do they torcher me everyday. why dose it have to happen to me ? now after school when i get home i just keep asking myself should i kill myself?
*Note from Anger Central
Short answer? NO! At 11, you don't know anything yet.
I am unemployed, overweight and feeling like I am going nowhere....I am paranoid that my boyfriend is not interested in me anymore and also of the women that come around. I have ugly feet, back fat, short hair and I have to make myself get up everyday because I feel less like a complete loser when I'm sitting on my couch then just laying in bed. I have a big problem with my image and I don't see my life getting any better. I have no ambition, no drive, no one to talk to and nowhere to go, I am a procrastinator and I have no one who can help me through all the dark, lonely things I feel. HELP ME....oh yea no one can hear me.
Fuck I can't get my own shit together, I'm on the verge of failing High School not because I'm incapable but for lack of a better description I just don't seem to give a fuck and do anything above and beyond what I'm required to do. If I pass its gonna be by the hair off my chin because I'm so close to completely failing. And did I mention I'm in love? Oh yeah how fair of life to strike me with something so trivial and virtually meaningless that would become the only thing I really care about. I hate the world we live in of having to fight to live decently... Fuck its terrible...
My life sucks the chrome off a damn trailer hitch. i just left my husband and now i'm trying to find a place to live... on social security disability. i had one apartment lined up but the bitch decided to rent to someone else at the last minute (their income was higher) Well thank you very much. i hate imposing on my friends, i hate that more than you could know, hate it hate it hate it dammit. but they are like oh everything's just hunky fuckin dory. its ok we're here for you. I don't think so, not if you could look and see what was in my head. I wish I was fucking dead right now but at least I don't have to listen to an asshole call me a whore while carrying on multiple affairs with online women one of whom calls him "Master". Oh that's very rich no doubt. thank you for listen ing to me rant...
Ah! I am such a horrible procrastinator! I hate how long it takes me to get motivated to do anything that requires work and one of these days its gonna hit me hard! I'm in college on a scholarship and I've been so busy since my grandpa died that I haven't been able to concentrate on school. I just wish I could just buckle down and get the next paper done and study for my exam tomorrow. Ugh. I just want summer to come so I can relax and to finally grow up and get more organized.
My life I have been normal weight until I got to about 4 grade then I notice I wear guys clothes instead of girlie firly Shit everyone wears. I got to 8th grade and that is when my life just smacked my fat useless face straight into a wall. I got fat, struggled with school, had few friends. One day I was at a drinking fountain at school and a grade younger kid asks me rude, are you a guy or girl? What the fuck do I say. I respond, are you gay. And walk away and he yells ARE YOu? Ever since that day I have never been the same. I went from what I thought was normal (guess not) to an anti social anxiety filled fucker up stupid girl. Well 2 years later I end up with type 1 diabetes and I started to turn my life around...right when I was 16 I got my CNA degree and got straight A in hard classes, And wanted to go to med school. But then as I go into my junior year of college, I just gave up. I look in the mirror and see a fat ugly cabbage sack of Shit. Now I am a senior but I had to drop out of school because I got so anxious I couldn't even enter school and if I did go I would just sleep or ditch. So now I am in an alternative school trying to graduate but I am still faced with my same fucking problems. I try so hard to learn and remember things but no matter what I always fuck it up. I can't make any friends anymore since I am so shy and anxious and I am still overweight because I get anxiety attacks JUST THINKING ABOUT EXERCISING. what the fuck person am I? My family doesn't give a Shit about me. I have tried to kill myself twice Nd they still don't get the fucking picture that I need to be locked up in a god damn nut house so I can go function in the real world. Oh ya, I can't get a job either so I have no money to do anything. Why would God or anyone allow such a waste of a person on me. I am pathetic and ugly no one will ever love me. My fat loves me I guess . I feel so lonely and crave any type of drug. If there was a needle of heroin, I would inject it without fucking thinking. I am such a pansy though. I try to kill myself buy never suceceed bc I am afraid of thinkijg there will be pain. Who thinks like this. How much more low can an 18 year old girl get? I give up I have no purpose in life
because i hate myself and i;m disgustingly fat and no one likes me. people have literally told me to fuck off because i'm so annoying and i want to die. i can't hold on to any friends because i'm a bitch, and now due to my stupid fucking brain i'm being attracted to my best friends ex boyfriend, who she still loves and cares about. the world would be so much fucking better without me.
I'm full of anger towards myself and in fact most people around me. My mum just died of cancer. I'm lonely. I'm a useless single mother. I'm poor, I'm fat. My kids nursery thinks that there is something wrong with him. My brother is a alcoholic. I was having therapy but the funding has run out. I'm bored and tired and exhausted and fed up with the ongoing stress of my life. i can't even get laid or do drugs to numb the tedium because I have to keep doing laundry and cooking dinners and dealing with my kid all the time. the kids dad is bi polar and useless but actually feel he is probably a better parent that me.
I have turned into a bit fat nothing.
I have spots as well.
I am a total loser. I have a stalker who has an ugly stupid girlfriend that looks like a man and together they are trying to make my life hell. They got me fired from my job (my stalker knows my ex-boss), kicked out of my condo essentially because of having no money, make fun of my weight on twitter and probably facebook too (I deleted my account). The problem is I cannot defend myself against them, I have no job prospects because my resume now sucks, I am like 80 lbs overweight, I'm depressed and wish I was dead... I only wish I could take them with me for doing this. A month ago I was fine and now I'm like the biggest loser alive living with my parents who want to send me to rehab because they don't believe me about the stalkers.
I have been involved with a girl for about a year and I'm now starting to think that she doesn't actually love me, just what I do for her, I feel that using me and has been doing so right from the start. All I do is spend money on her, I feel like I'm buying her love...like a frigging loser. I should have known that no one in their right mind would seriously want to be in a relationship with me. I'm too much of a goddamn pushover, I'm not all that good looking or intelligent...being stupid is very expensive, I'm proof of that.
I'm fucking angry and tired. In my mid thirties now. The whole time I was growing up I thought I was a writer, somebody who would be published and rich and famous. In my early twenties bipolar 2 hit me hard, wrecked my college efforts 2 years in. I am so so angry at myself 12 years later. I feel like a pointless, worthless nothing. I hate my writing. I feel like it just sucks. I keep trying to fix my life to something stable, but it always falls apart and I just keep coming back to anger and sadness at having not become a writer. Fuck my life.
At the time I began dating a guy a few months ago, he had just broken up with his ex after they were together for the past few years and sadly, it didn't end well...
I realized that he had been struggling to get over her but little did I know he was using me to help do that...
He doesn't appreciate everything I do for him, he's not very affectionate with me and he complains that I don't spend enough time with him during the week, what does he want from me?? I work long hours all week! It's not like I'm doing this on purpose! Recently, he's been hanging out more and more with his friends, especially on the weekends, when I can actually spend more time with him...I also think that he's interested in another girl but ,of course, I can't prove it...
It's pretty pathetic when you become the third wheel in your own relationship...I'm such a fucking loser...
Im a stupid stupid kid i never think things through except for
suicide which i could even do!! Im to stupid to even take the safty off a 12
gauge shotgun and blow my brains all over the wall. I tried hanging myself with
a dog chock chain that didnt work at all. Im mad at god fpr creating me and
making me the way i am. All i want to do is play russian roulette with myself i
cut upside down crosses on my legs so people could see a cross and see what kind
of a monstrosty god can make i read about jeffrey dahmer and have so many
I think if i finally butchered someone tied thdm down and ripped there intestines out i would be perfectly normal noy the freak retard that i am. So what do you prefer guys a shot to the head hanging or sliting your throat cause im up for all 3. Listen to me complain another fault of me. I dont know how ill survive highschool and if i say i want to kill myself my parents yell at me call me selfish and say im stupid im on suicide watch by my parents. Just someone or somthing end this
I am a weak and pliable bastard (literally) who was abandoned by his fuck of a suicidal father at five years old. Everything I do leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I don't know what the fuck I am doing. I have my own children now and I wonder what the chances are that I will leave darkness in them after I go. I accepted Jesus as my savior cause I was scared of going to hell, and realized what a mess I was as a person. In doing so I left behind a wonderful girl who really did like me. In exchange, I am now ex-Christian/fallen, married to a bitch that doesn't even know me nor like me half the time. Life is a huge fucking waste of time, and all the shit i used to believe in makes me both weep and laugh.
Fuck you world, all you other pieces of shit out there that have no problem walking on others, fuck you. I wish I could see your pitiful faces when we stand before God in Judgement, your prideful ignorant stupid fucking faces. Hate has filled me. The Devil makes sense. I never asked to be born, and certainly never asked to play the part of such a worthless pawn in God's chess set. I hope demons rip my existence to pieces down there, I hope Satan shits out my soul.
ok im 20 and fuck i dont know if im angry depressed or just plain fucked up i have felt like this for as long as i can remember even as a child id sit at primary school and dig at my arms with sharp stick. iv been heavily into drugs for the past 5 years. i stop taking them i feel shit then i do more and repeat... my father was a criminal and an all round fucked cunt man i havent seen him since i was 11 and my mother i think i drove here to the brink of insanity we cant talk about anything of importance. i finished (dropped out) of high school 2 years ago i have never had a job i live off welfare i feel like im waiting for something that will never come. about a year back when i was fuck on lsd (its been my drug of choice for a long time now) i was so exited about the prospect of the world ending (and that was me "happy") i have told all my friends to fuck off and pushed them all away i cant trust anyone i feel like people just want to use me. i feel so alone i cant sleep and when i do im plauged with discomfort and bad dreams im scared and cold what point is there i want to rip every organ from my body i want to bleed! and on top of all that im a virgin i was always to fucked and shy to express myself wich makes me feel so weak. i feel burntout my passion is dead and im alone waiting to die...
Why do I have to agree to work extra? I hate my boss, dislike my job and feel totally braindead and bored throughout the day. Even 3 hours there is shit, so why the hell have I agreed to do a full day? When will I learn to say NO to extra hours? Each fucking time I say to myself "that's the last time" yet I'm still making that stupid mistake 8 months later!
Im a piece of shit who can do anything. Im never gonna be anything and am just a fuck up. I can never win in wrestling life or school. Why cant i just die its the only true way to make yourself happy. Whenever i cause self harm to myself my parents just yell and punish me. why cant i just die mabye im so worthless God just wants to play with me a worthless puppet..
Im a fucking failure and I hate myself so I try to fuck other peoples lives over to try get them to hate as much as myself and to make sure that im not the only one that suffers. Fuck life if i could kill myself I would, im a hopeless piece of shit.
I'm an ugly failure not worthy of living . I hate my fucking parents stupid religious fucks . All I do is work out all day while people I know party and get girls while I'm just a hateful peice of shit becoming more angry at the world and myself day by day . It's come to the point where I just don't give
A shit , I just expect to be humiliated and made fun of an looked down upon . I'm so angry and cunfused why was I given this life where everyday I look in to the mirror disguseted at what I see , just a pathetic angry loser with nothing to
Do but except my life for what it is a sad joke.
1.) I have had a pilonidal cyst problem for five years straight and it is still a problem. I've had five separate surgeries on there and it still didn't close!! I kept treating it and everything but it just kept opening up! Right now it's not as bad, but if I even take one running step, it either hurts, or it will open up randomly and start bleeding a shit-ton.
2.) My grades are slowly becoming F's. I study every single night and complete all my homework just to realize that I get a C or a D on a test, maybe even lower. While all the stupider kids (didn't mean to offend anyone) are getting higher grades than me, and my best subject, math, I HAVE A FUCKING F!!!!
3.) I have no true friends. All the friends I have either treat me badly, talk cr@p behind my back, or sometimes they would hang out with me one day, write down all of my responses to things, and they would use that against me (I've caught them doing that before). The only people I talk to now are other gamers online whom I don't know in real life and this one person in school who is moving to another school next year. Forever alone fucking David.
4.) I don't have many talents. I can't swim, I can't make music, I won't take apart a broken computer to discover the pieces inside, I won't do any of those stuff because I'm the most idiotic loser in the entire world and maybe even other worlds.
5.) People use ANYTHING to put me down in depression. If I post a status on Facebook saying my life sucks or "FML" then one of my "friends" types of "stop crying" and over 50 people click "like" on that comment. STILL DO!
6.) STUDENTS ONLY USE ME FOR MY EXPERTISE IN MATHEMATICS. I have been known to excell in math, so my "friends" ask for help and when I help them they don't even say thank you, and they don't respond to me after that, except when they need more help with something related to math. BUT NOW THAT MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO SEE MY BAD GRADE IN MATH, I AM NOW CONSIDERED A FOREVER ALONE "F" STUDENT THAT ALSO HAPPENS TO BE A FAT UGLY PIECE OF SHIT.
7.) I've been called too many names. Fatty, Fat nerd, ugly piece of SH*t, desperate fat@$$, turd, more than u can imagine. No matter what they all say, any name immediately upsets me, and I get suicidal thoughts.
8.) I'm really really fat. Actually, I'm obese and currently on a diet, and some of the kids say "haha u can't lose weight u fat turd, go to mommy and suck milk from her brea$t$ saying 'mommie mommie! Milkie milkie!'' THAT has upset me the most.
9.) I have an emotionally abusive father. Whenever I do something wrong or something accidentally or even something the way he doesn't want things to go, he starts to yell at me, sometimes yank on my ears, and rarely throw a few things of mine across the room so that they would break. I'm forced to go with him outside and if I say "No", then he will say "You are the most useless child a father can ever have" or something related to that
10.) Almost 2 years ago, one bully has been cheating work in my computer class off of my computer. I didn't realize this and his paper was exactly like mine except he had his name on it. Now I have a permanent cheating record (THEY THINK I CHEATED), and I cant do anything about it. The kid moved to a different high school since he had too many bad records in my school, and my teacher that accused me of cheating probably threw away the work we did on our computers. He had his own document in his own computer! I tried telling my teacher about how I didn't cheat but instead he said "I don't have time for this and if you talk back to me, I'm going to reward you with a suspension and possibly an expulsion." So now I have a cheating record that i didn't do.
11.) I've never had a girlfriend or even kissed or hugged a girl, no girl wants to ever talk to me, and if some of them get close they say "EWW?" and walk fast away from me, so there is no chance I'll ever have a gf or be with anyone, BECAUSE IM A SELFISH IMPATIENT FAT JERK!!!!!
12.) I realized a few days ago that me not reading books daily is very very bad for my mental thinking. I have a good enough vocabulary and can keep a conversation going, but I don't read books, unless I have to. I need someone to tell me something that will motivate me to read books.
13.) My hope for becoming a lawyer is slowly fading. Since I keep thinking to myself "I'm just getting stupider by the schoolyear, why not just get a simple job and suffer?" and that leads to another reason why I should kill myself. But it's ok, I'm too retarded for that job anyway. So I decided to become an engineer, BUT MY MATH SKILLS ARE BECOMING CRAP!!! SO WHAT THE FUCK WILL I BE? A HOBO!
14.) Whenever I get really angry or pissed at something, I immediately take my right or left hand, and bite it with all my force. Half of the times, blood gushes out but not too much, and that immediately makes me calm. Someone please tell me how to stop doing this...fortunately I stopped doing this quite a while ago, by force.
15.) Since I'm bullied so much in school, one little insult can immediately hurt my feelings and then sometimes I just go somewhere quiet and cry my eyes out during lunch time, or if I get insulted through facebook I post a status about how my life sucks, I bite my arm really hard again, and then go cry as I wipe the blood from my arm...stopped doing this too, but I start having horrific suicidal thoughts as a replacement.
16.) Since my dad is so overly emotionally abusive, when someone tries to pat my back or when someone give me a handshake, or even when they want to do a knuckle touch, i immediately back away, shaking from fear, and the nerves in my arm suddenly hold still for 2 seconds. That's partly why I don't have "true friends", AND ALL MY BULLIES PRETEND TO BACKHAND ME AND WHEN I FLINCH REALLY QUICK, THEY ALL HAVE A GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD FUCKING LAUGH?!!!!!
17.) I get very very sick so easily! As soon as cold air is blown on me from a windy day or something, I immediately start to sneeze a few times, and then my throat starts to itch and I get a very heavy desire to just spit it all out. I don't know what's wrong with me, has God punished me? Is it an allergy to cold air? I doubt it....
18.) Most of the insults that the kids in my school say are true, and they took a wild guess saying that insult. They say I have a tiny * * * * , and it's true. They say I'm extremely ugly, and it's true to 90% of my friends, etc etc etc there are alot of insults they say that are true
19.) While on my diet, for breakfast I just eat a plate of different healthy nuts, including raw peanuts, raw almonds, raw cashews, prunes, and sunflower seeds. The thing is I don't lose weight, I'm actually gaining 0.5 pounds each day. I don't eat dinners, and for lunch I have a small portion of chicken with rice, and a bowl of salad with olive oil on it. All those things prevent constipation and aren't fattening. They may have fat but it's the good type of fat that fights off bad fat. Even after all that, I gain pounds!! This is why I stopped this fucking useless diet. I don't know how to fucking diet normally or study like a normal fucking person, I have BRAIN DAMAGE!!
20.) My sister and my dad always harass my mom emotionally and there's nothing I can do about it. When I go up to my dad and sister, I yell at them, instead they just laugh and push me really hard so that I fall face-first to the ground. My mom is the only one I trust and I'm the only one she trusts, when I take a look at her vein-filled skinny arms I just want to cry! OH MY GOD!??!?!?!?!
21.) I'm also not the type of person to take revenge, which means whenever someone insults me with something, or physically hurts me, they get away with it. No I will not change who I am because it won't matter anymore, I want to change the worlds way of thinking, I want the world to be much nicer than it is now, BUT APPARENTLY IM AN EMOTIONALFAG AND TAKE EVERYTHING UP THE ASS, SO I GET PISSED OFF TOO FREQUENTLY NOW!!!! IM A JERK NOW!!!!!! THE GOOD SIDE OF ME IS GONE!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO DIE!!!!!!!!!
22.) Whenever I talk to a school psychiatrist, they just explain to me my problems, they don't bother telling me how to solve them, and then tell me "I hope everything works out for you". Yeah, no that will not happen - this is why I don't trust these kinds of people, specially normal psychiatrists where you pay money. You fucking waste your money when you visit the psychiatrists
23.) Whenever a kid bullies me, and I retaliate, and we both get in trouble, the assistant principal always takes his side and I get punished, when he was the first person to insult me. I was just using self-defense...Karma has hit me pretty hard
24.) I have a terrible hatred towards all the faggots in my school who cheat their way through everything, and they think they can get away with it along with insulting me and having a good laugh at it. I get a lower grade because they cheated and they laugh at me and call me a retard, I've even had one kid say "no wonder you got a lower grade, you're so fat from eating all the poop you shit out that it has gone to your brain", then a bunch of kids that I know AND don't know get a good laugh. That right there just showed to me that I have a couple hundred more enemies to try and ignore and hide from. What the fuck is wrong with this generation?
25.) My kindness is fading away...I'm slowly getting meaner and meaner....God, please, I want to start being nice again to people, I don't want to be rude like this, I want my anger and hatred to stop! It's gotten me too far! Many people hate me now for this!! I NEED SOME HELP!!! OH MY GOD!!!!
26.) MY BREATH STINKS AND IS IMPOSSIBLE TO MAKE IT CLEAN BREATH. I have no idea how it's like this, or how it turned out to be this horrible, but...oh god, it's horrible. Mouthwash won't drain it away, nor brushing my teeth. My mom yells at me for having a bad breath and for not making my breath clean. The reason it was my mom was because my dad doesn't know, or else he would have injured me by now for "not getting girls because of this problem".
27.) My parents clearly cannot understand how much I'm crying and getting angry from my problems - when I ask to get depression pills so I can force myself to not cry or get angry or sad or anything like that even to the littlest things, they automatically insult me and then say no, along with another insult. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!?!?
So tell me, you think after all of this you can say I shouldn't kill myself?
i am from asia and i can't speak and write english properly and my dream is to live in america,what the fuck!!! (even though i can't speak the mothertongue of america) i always want to learn english but i never get time for that out of my fucking nonsense studies.but again shit happens to me,instead of studies (because i fed up with studies) i do every fucking shit around like making website,(i mean making website for no reason????WHAT THE FUCK!),watching stupid shows on T.V,surfing internet for porns,masturbating,etc... I mean everything that a fucking dick head of dead penis can do.i hate myself,i am a waste of human,nobody likes me ,i have no talent,i look like an old pig,i am a anti- social element, i am pain for my parents, i just sleep , eat, do shit ,and again i go to sleep.i used to be a good student upto 8th grade but as i reached 11th i just messed everything. I just want to die ,i have no live, i don't exists.plz help or i have second plan of sucide. I can't write anymore because i have go for another fucking tution class where i sit like a dumb , understanding nothing.
*Note from Anger Central
Your written English looks ok considering the errors in spacing. (We see that a lot in posts so don't worry about it) Mrs. Webmaster didn't speak very much English when she first arrived. She enrolled in a school that teaches English as a second language. Actually, according to the Webmaster, she all but moved into the class. ;)
Now she is functional if not fluent and we all see her thinking in English when she is taking to us. When she is talking to someone in Chinese, she switches back. Not bad for someone who started learning late in life. You might also start the Immigration stuff now since it will take a while.
I'm angry because every fucking day my parents work their asses off to provide me with this fucking amazing life that I have and I feel like all I doe is fuck things up. I'm angry because I can't do a god damn thing right. I'm in college and I made really good grades in high school, but, I've always been a rebel. not by choice, but because I can't help how I feel about things. I can't choose my psychological temperament, and if I could I would be a good fucking person. but no, I can't, instead i'm the kind of person that does drugs, and lives to be fucked up all the time, not to mention I say fuck way too much. sure I'm in college and still make satisfactory grades, but hell, my college tuition is burden enough on my parents, not to mention the fucking outrageous car/insurance payment they make because of my ass every month. why? because they bought me a brand new car for making good grades in high school. I was prepared to buy a shitty car of my own, but instead they surprised me with a brand new car. what i'm getting at here is they go above and beyond to make my life great and I feel as if all i do is make their lives hell. My parents are amazing and wonderful people. My father is the smartest man I have ever met in my life. He deserves a son much better than me. For fucks sake I am 20 years old and i'm crying my fucking eyes out. I don't even know why I am here. I am such an odd person that I am positive I will never have a reason to live outside of my family members. what the hell am I going to do when they're gone? I will have nothing, sure I will have tons of things from inheritance and a nice job that pays well that my college degree will get me, and I will probably even have my own laboratory for my personal experiments with photonics and chemistry. but what good is all of these material desires if I don't have my family? the ones that got me to that point. My parents aren't too computer savvy, but if they were ever to read this I would hope that they know I am sorry for all the hell i've put them through growing up and even now. I feel like a really shitty son and I hope that one day I can find a way to repay you guys for all the things you've done for me.
Okay...I hate myself. I don't have a single real life friend. I am kinda fat and I fucking hate it! I go to the gym for about 1 month but I'm still out of shape. The gym lady knows I'm ugly too I can tell, especially because there is this bright fucking light right above me while I sign in. Everyone on my Facebook hates me. 3 or 4 of my Facebook friends that I though actually liked me deleted and blocked me for some damn reason. My own cousin won't even accept my request, she denied it twice already. The only people to like my pics are my mom. I message people, but right when they see it they sign off, as if I'm some killer that everyone hides from. In public I say hi to random strangers trying to be friendly but they just look at me and ignore me. I'm a failure, and I go to a charter school. I'm a virgin, and I have never had a girlfriend. Why the fuck am
I so ugly and messed up? Why the hell is everything so shitty for me!? Sometimes I want to die becausey life is repeated. Everyday is the same, on the weekends my dad picks me up, and that process is repeated and has been for the last 14 years. Can you fucking believe that? Plus I never hang out with any one....I can't believe how socially fucked I am. Bye guys I'm
Going to cry myself to sleep like a faggot.
Well first off...let me start by saying I'm the ugliest, unhealthiest, weakest, dumbest, weirdest faggot bitch on this planet. I don't know why I am do ugly and out of shape. I go to the gym but I'm still fat and unhealthy. I think I have every disease known to man and I am probably carrying new deadly plague like viruses within. Everyone..and I mean EVERYONE knows I am ugly, even my family. I am short and out of shape...fat stomach, ugly eyes and nose, ugly mouth, fat neck. I see some loners who are decent looking or at least tall and smart, but I'm ugly short dumb and fat. Everyone at school and on every social network ignores me. Even when I comment on someone's photo or wall they just scroll right past it because I'm maggot food and trash. I'm as good as a dead faggot. Every girl on earth thinks I'm ugly, I swear on everything. I message every girl on facebook numerous times and they sign off because they see my annoying name and pic. I can't exchange 4 words without being a retarded fatass. I just say any thing that sometimes doesn't even matter or make sense or I talk to low. I can't look anyone in the eyes either for obvious reasons. My vision is fucked up and I'm barely 17; who knows I might be a cancer strikes fatass lowlife blind asshole in the near future. What am exciting future to look forward to. I've never had a girlfriend or sex. I'm poor, and live in the worst state and the hottest one. I miss too much school, but when I do to this fucking short fat wetback kid intimidates me, and I'm a pussy so I let him, even if he had a shotgun in my face I'd probably just let him blow my faggot brain out. My cute girl cousin doesn't accept my friend request on Facebook, but my ugly fat poor cousins add me and obsess over me...WHY? Why does everything have to go the direct opposite all the time???? The cousin I actually care for and like is hard to get a hold of and plus she's the best and everyone knows it. She probably doesn't accept me because I'm an ugly poor fat faggot loser. Just looking at my face gives people a stroke. I try to wear masks to make it easier on people that need to look at me, but I just can't and it tortures them. I want to go to college after high school but first off my parents spent all that money to send my older brother to college, so I'm the left over. So I'm to poor to go to college. Who cares though, since when does an ugly fatass weirdo go to college? College is for hot girls and tall handsome men, not weird fat short ugly beasts. So no friendship from my fav cousin, no college, no girlfriend, no car, no job, no money, no friends, no sex, no phone, no gun (to kill myself), I'm going blind, I'm sickly, I'm stupid, I'm weird shaped, I'm short, im unhealthy, and no one on earth wants to befriend me. So don't worry guys, I'll be dead soon so just bear with me. Bye, I'm going to stuff my face with fat foods, and just watch TV (not cable though, I'm to poor and ugly for that). Bye guys! I'm going to crawl under my comfy covers and just think about living a normal nice life...how soothing to be a loser.
i can't do anything. i have nothing. i'll study all week for a midterm, maybe gloss over a few sections, but then guess what? the only thing on the midterm, are those two fucking sections i ignored, with maybe some insanely difficult problems from those other sections i THOUGHT i understood, thrown in. i'm so worried i'm going to fail. not even that, i'm worried about what i'm going to do after i fail. i'm so sick of trying so hard and having nothing to show. last year, i got a 50 in physics, twice, which is a D- at my school. i've never been so happy to get a D-... probably because i've never gotten a D- before. i graduated 6th in my class in high school. i didn't talk to anyone there. i probably have social anxiety.. or just anxiety in general. people regarded me as that smart girl who never talks to anyone. then i started smoking pot senior year, still got all A's, still regarded as that smart girl, cause since i didn't talk to anyone, no one knew the drug reliant piece of shit i was turning into. get to college, my hair is dyed, people assume i smoke weed. i'm no longer regarded as that smart girl; i'm regarded as the retarded stoner who can't go a day without getting high. well, i go to a pretty smart school, so it makes sense that they'd be able to judge me more accurately than the retards at high school.
i can't go a week without having a break down and getting so anxious about my future that i really just wish i was dead already. i'm so pathetic. i've always had anger problems; someone can say something trivial and i'll take it personally, i feel the anger boiling in my stomach, i lash out. i used to be better at keeping it in. i don't know what the fuck happened. i feel like i keep getting worse at everything. i keep getting dumber, more reliant on drugs, worse at controlling myself. i used to think i didn't need anyone, that i didn't want to get married. now, i can hardly stand to be alone. when my boyfriend doesn't give me enough attention, i freak, i go mad, i yell and scream at him until he starts crying, forcing me to snap out of my rage and finally calm down. i think i'm only dating him because he seems so much more normal than me, and more promising. he'll probably pass college and get a great job as an engineer and make a great salary so logically i should stay with him. he makes me happy a lot of the time, i still get butterflies when we kiss, it must be love, right? except for the fact that i'm so fucking horny all the fucking time, it's a miracle i haven't cheated on him. he doesn't even seem to like sex that much. he doesn't seem to like pleasing me, as much as i like pleasing him. he gets tired so quickly, he doesn't want sex all the time. me on the other hand, if i could be having sex right now, i would. i love sex. i wish i could just be constantly having sex. fuck, do i just have an addictive personality? i get a taste of something, and i want more and more and more and more of it until i get sick of it, which usually takes a while, because my attention span is definitely long as fuck. i want to fuck strangers. i want to have sex with a girl. i want to fuck my lab partner from last year and he knows it and he said he's wanted to fuck me at times too. i want all of those things, but i want my boyfriend too. i want him forever, i'm afraid to let go of him, i feel like i'll never find anyone better. i took his virginity and i hate knowing that. i wish we had met in 2 years, after we'd each had enough sexual exploits to satisfy our needs (though apparently his needs aren't as much as mine, or he'd be willing to fuck me 2, 3, 10 times a day).
so, what is the object of my anger? i guess i've kind of talked around that. i'm mad at myself. i'm a worthless piece of shit person and i really just wish i didn't exist. not that i was dead; i don't want to hurt those that love me. i just wish i never existed in the first place. i'm stuck here, with my stupid self, i can't do anything. i don't want to do anything. i just want to feel good and do drugs and have sex and frolic in the fucking sunshine. i feel like i have no control over my emotions. i feel like i have depression. i'm too afraid to go talk to anyone who could diagnose me with depression, and what would be the point anyway? probably the only thing i have strong feelings about is that prescription depression medication is complete bullshit and just a way for some people to make a living. there is no hope for me. i'm going to be miserable for the rest of my life. i'm going to die angry. i'm going to die angry with a failing gpa and so much THC in my blood stream that the person that finds me bleeding out on the sidewalk will get a high just from the stench of my blood. i'm not fat, in fact i'm too skinny. i probably have a fine IQ, i'm strong enough to lift things, i'm decent at drawing, i have so much fucking potential, but no willpower, no passion, to put it to any use. I AM THE DEFINITION OF PATHETIC. the world would be better off without retarded people like me, who have everything going for them but still manage to fuck it up royally. i'm probably the angriest pot head you'll ever meet. i hope someone reads this, and i hope you feel the urge to blow my fucking head off for being so whiny and dumb, cause i'm sure if my pre-drug self read this, that's exactly what i'd want to do.
I hate myself I have been trying to find a job for months now and no fucking luck it's like they sense the stupidity before I walk in and judge me and they know to immediately reject me I just want to die I want to end it I don't want to I can't anymore and my family see's how pathetic I am too I'm homeless im incredibly useless I want to die and end my life bye
I don't now where to begin... maybe that I'm ugly, fat, lazy, and depressed. (I bet you could figure out the last one :).) Somehow I can make friends but the worst part is I can't keep them. Yep, I'm one of THOSE people, I'm just so messed up that its impossible for me to freaking keep a friend longer than a year! Today, I just lost my best friend because in her song notebook, she hinted that I was ugly and wrote how since I'm "jacked up on prozac" she can't "talk" to me anymore. WTF?! First off, it's not like this was her diary. Secondly, I ASKED her if I could look at it. Maybe that was her giving the hint, I don't want you in my life.
I'm so depressed right now, even on the prozac... I just got to accept I'll be one of those people that will alway be by themselves.
P.S- my parents dislike me to so obviously something's wrong with me.
I am angry at myself because i am doing things that's not right for me, and i am fully aware of that, but still i can't stop myself doing such things like not studying, not bathing properly, etc. It's like I've started hating myself. I know that the most important thing for me at this time is studying and nothing else, but even though i don't study. I think the main reason of my sorrow is, not doing those things which i ought to do. Its pretty much like a damn circle of sorrows of non-sense stuffs. Now, i am trying to overcome this, but whenever i try to take a good start, something wrong happens to me every time, and that causes declination in my self-confidence every time. There is no one around me to cheer me up, no one is there to boost me up, instead there are people who scold me, they make me more worried. My parents! Oh god! they think that their child is a study machine, if i am regularly going to school, that's ok, if i am studying inform of them, that's even more ok, but if i am not going to school , that's bother them a lot, but their child's sad face never bothers them. why?.,shouldn't they ask why i can't concentrate on my studies? Why going school is like pain for me?, They think providing stuffs is taking good care and loving, or may be they are such an idot to know about what love actually means.Their own behavior is that good for a student/child to be happy and studious? Oh! I don't wana discuss about that but i can say that there behaviour is very very cheap!.They want me to study but they never support me, motivate me for that, they want me to be happy but they do not provide environment for that, i think they regret to have a son. They did(still doing) the things i can't forget,its like god damn fucking black memories for me and trauma forever.They never emotionally attached with me. My life is a waste, there is nothing much to do in this damn world.This world is full of idiots who raise and live fucking restless,unjoyful life and die, without even knowing what is the main purpose of there life, what is the need of life in this hollow universe created by unknown famous GODs and devils.I'v heard many stories of the people who were very poor, but by their hardwork and firm determination they are now living a better life, earning alot, but according to me, they did hard work just to live the better part of this world which itself is a part of hell, so overall they did hardwork for nothing but to live a purposeless life a bit easily.God gave me everything but i am the one who have to explore all those gifts to make my life better and purposefull, but i think exploring them will take my entire life, and after then those gifts will be useless because you no more require it, since you don't have life after death.I don't like anything about my life, me , my place of birth, people of this place, my body, my look, my school, my teachers, my home, my parents, my family and my greedy country and continent too. But only thing i love in this world is the AMERICA (U.S.A: THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA), even though i never visited AMERICA, i love the AMERICA, because i love the way the americans live their lives, the way they work, the way they explore the world, the way they study, the way they celebrate, the way they party, etc. magnificent! i love almost everything about AMERICA.There is not even a single day when i don't dream about living in AMERICA and marry (an) american girl(s) ;), since i got to know about America. I want to go there and live the best life possible on earth. But if i fail to go there, then i will die.
I hate myself so god damn much! I can't do shit for anyone- not even myself... I can't do anything right. I'm so fucking retarded. I want to die and stay out of this world. Not gonna deal with this painful bullshit anymore. Kill me, please. I never, ever deserved this life anyway. Goodbye cruel world. Such a crappy ass place. I was basically born for nothing. I suck. Badly. *goes to emo corner and cries* <¦'(
I can't do anything right. I am 43. I've been unable to have children, Unable to do anything worthwhile towards getting educated. -- although I have been trying to finish a particular program, IT seems the small 'failures" I tend to gather up and hoard like they are nuggets of gold are going to be my demise. Today, in particular, I really wish I could just DIE of some natural cause -- This is becaues I feel that if I were to commit suicide, y husband would be more devastated than he would be if I just died of some other health-related thing. Seriously - I have contacted a few friends and since they all have relatively good and happy lives, not a single one has been able to attempt to rescue me from what feels like being drowned in a pit of THICK liquid. This is liquid so thick that a human body would be inable to float within it and I am going down. At some point my arms and legs will be exhausted and I will simply sink to the bottom, then it will be over. For ever, For good.
I hate how incredibly stupid I am; I don't take social cues well, and I am always trying to show off, but I always fail when I do and I know I am nothing special. The worst part is I keep doing it. I wish I were something like Data from Star Trek. Cold, emotionless, and stunningly knowledgeable and efficient, but not a show off. I am so sick of myself.
I'm so pissed at myself now. My life sucks and there is nothing I can do to change it. I'm 25 years, still live with my mom, I don't have a job, I have never had a girlfriend, I'm mentally retarded, I'm spineless, I'm talentless, oh hey nearly forgot to mention I look hideous. There absolutely no hope for me since I can't even keep a simple job due to my stupidity. I'm so dumb that I cannot perform basic tasks. I'm doomed for life that's a fact and there is only one thing To do.
I hate myself. I hate all of these rants against fat people. I have a disease that makes me gain weight uncontrollably despite how much exercise I put in. I swallow eleven pills a day to control my insulin and other body parts that don't work because of this disease. All I get in return is being shot down by society, told that I need to kill myself because of my weight, told that I don't deserve to live like the rest of humanity. Thank you society. I'm doing all I can to help myself live, and even my doctor says that no matter what I do, I won't be like the rest of you. Piss off, learn someone's story before you tell them to kill themselves.
Imagine waking up to realize... "I'm trapped". Seriously, how the @#%$ did I get trapped in this mud? Bible calls it flesh. Peep this. So there I was whooping the -seaweed- green in color buhggars out of life's nose when all of a sudden..."BLAM" now my crack is in the air, naked, getting chewed out like a zebra's throat in a lion's teeth. Man... Where's the reset button? This ain't how I programed my life to go. Somebody cheated. I am not supposed to be that ugly reflection looking at me opposite the mirror. Put it this way... Why is my dookey hole where my face should be and my face right below my back? That's right... When I talk people stare at my butt. You guessed it, i'm so ugly that the dude on fat albert with the big lips and heavy turtle neck look at me and shake his head. Why do I have to be the dude who sincerely believes ape plaque spread on bread makes for a deliciouslly balanced snack? I tell you, when I die i'm gonna kill myself again... And again. How can something as ugly as me have muscles by the mouth that can cause a smile? I get beat up at funerals and all I hear are voices screaming, "Get cho @#$ back in that casket!". Man i'm so scrubby my OWN foot keeps kickin my @$#. Just tell the giant in jack and the beanstalk to grab my ankles, shove my head in his pencil sharpener and crank away. How can I want death when death is unwanted? This life sucks.
I submitted my witty rant and I forgot to copy paste so that I could fap off to how clever I am later.
God, sometimes I am such a self-involved dicknut.
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