Passengers

Passengers who check their luggage on to the plane and then change their mind about flying should be strung up and fined $10000. Of course the prick's luggage then has to be offloaded in case it's a bomb (thanks Moslems). Result - lost luggage, missed connections plus two extra hours of cramped seating while the plane is stuck on the runway. Useless bastards.

*Note from Anger Central
As we understand it, if someone should get off the plane, they also get to spend some quality time with our friends from the TSA as well.

Carry on Luggage Assholes 2

You stupid turdheads that insist on slowing down air travel on both ends of the trip. The people that piddlefart around with their goddamned carry on luggage. Put the shit in the overhead fucking bin and sit the fuck down. I hate being shunted down the concourse just to wait until the carry on dumbasses finally have their shit arranged just so. Then, joy of joys, when we arrive at our destination, you fucktards hold up everyone's progress yet again when you are too thick to just grab your shit and go. Thanks for making me miss my connection, shithead.

I propose the No Motherfucking Carry on Luggage Airline. I'll gladly pay extra to get away from you other fuckers.

Obnoxious passengers 3

I am so angry at the behaviour of other passengers on public transport, specifically the London Underground ('Tube').

I have just been to London with the wife and, while walking from Kings Cross mainline station to the Underground via a wide passageway, some brute walking in the opposite direction shoved into her. No apology or anything. A bloke in front of us got the same treatment. Daren't say anything in case these bastards have knives etc.

I am incandescent with rage enough to write a letter to The Times. I am just so angry with the aggression on display in public.

Passengers 4

Fucking airline passengers are the scum of the Earth.

Why is it that if you fly first class or anything fancier than coach/economy, you get decent people with few if any kids who know how to behave on a plane (for the most part, anyway) but the SECOND you set foot in coach you feel like you're surrounded by fucking trailer trash, knuckle-dragging troglodytes?

Call me a classist or whatever you please, but I really think there's a correlation between being monetarily poor and being uncultured, low-life garbage. There may be rude, unruly rich people on planes in the good seats, but I've yet to run into them. Poor people with misbehaving kids who don't know how to behave on a flight though? EVERY FUCKING TIME.

Worst offenders are the cock suckers who let their fucking hell spawn children kick your God damned seat the whole fucking five hours of a flight. Try saying something to them and nothing happens. Dirty looks, nothing happens. Plane is full so it's not like you can move, nor can they be moved, so bitching to the crew is of no use. All you can do is suffer. The last flight I was on, the fucking brat was yapping and yelling most of the time when she wasn't kicking my seat. Then the stupid bitch takes her seat belt apart and starts clapping the two parts of the buckle together like she was playing with pots and pans. This went on for several minutes and happened several times. This kind of thing NEVER happens in pricier sections of any flight I've been on, only in the piss-poor sections where there were no better seats available. Go figure.

Another thing that I'll never understand, which I've seen even in the priciest sections of the planes, is when these assholes have to fuck with their overhead luggage every 10 minutes for the duration of the flight. I've even seen some assholes who take up two or three bins and fuck with the contents of each one at least a handful of times during the flight. What the hell?!

That brings up another one, the people who bring way too much fucking shit onto the plane. I have to pay extra these days to be in the first boarding group if I want any overhead space, otherwise I'm usually fucked because of these assholes. They say only 2 pieces, but they don't enforce it. They say it has to be small enough to fit in their little box thingy by the gate, but they don't enforce it. I see people getting on with two, sometimes three suitcase looking things, on wheels, all belonging to one fucking person. They take up at least two overhead bins and fuck over at least an entire row of people who should be using that space. Stupid assholes also hold up everyone during boarding because they don't realize or don't care that people are waiting behind them. This goes doubly for when the plane has landed, because they always have to fiddle fuck for ages to gather all their shit before the rest of us can get off the damn plane.

I honestly wish they could require an IQ test and a reading comprehension exam before letting people on a fucking plane.

Case in point: I lost count of how many people took off their seat belt before the light went out, or how many people whipped out their cell phones and got on calls before we even left the plane, even though it was an international flight and the crew had just stated we were to leave them off *until we cleared customs*. Fucking morons.

I hate to sound like a snob, but the worst offenders seem to come out of the poorest sections of the flight, almost all the time. They bring the most shit, take the longest to do anything, apparently don't know how to fucking read either. Example: The dipshit who walked past the curtain with a sign on it that says "Economy Restrooms Aft" and used the first-class bathrooms instead. Then he comes and tells his family, "We're supposed to use the bathrooms back there (pointing aft)." NO SHIT YOU FUCKING IDIOT!

I don't have a problem paying out the nose for plane tickets, but I really wish they would put the uneducated trailer trash with too many kids on another fucking flight altogether. I have nothing against poor people in general, but poor airline travelers are the worst, far and away, and I cannot fucking stand the average coach passenger. If I want to be surrounded by brain dead, uncultured, thoughtless, illiterate and arrogant assholes with too many unruly kids, I'll go to fucking Walmart.

Hey wait, maybe there's a solution here, Walmart cna start their own airline and get the trash to fly there, instead of ruining air travel for the rest of us. And yes, I'm going to go further and say that this is 99% a problem with American passengers in coach (being an American it shames me to say that, but it's the truth). People in foreign countries generally control their fucking kids or at least the bastards behave. They have some modesty and respect for other people, at least most of the time. The American passengers? Always the loudest, most obnoxious and always the ones with the screaming kids. Thanks America, you're setting a wonderful example.

If you're one of these people, do me a favor and just stop fucking flying. Take a boat, take a car or a train or something, but leave the fucking airlines to the rest of us who can behave like adults and control our fucking children. You assholes are the scum of the fucking Earth and it's because of people like you that the rest of us have to pay so much to be in first class, just to get away from you pieces of shit. My only solace comes from the fact that you're too fucking poor to EVER afford good seats, so HOPEFULLY you have to suffer the same treatment from your peers once in a while. At least I can opt out when good seats are available, a luxury I hope to God you never have the means to afford. Rot in your own cesspool back there you pieces of shit.