Review: Breaking Dawn Part 2

Good day all. I never understood the wild fascination with the Twilight Saga movies. I’ve seen bits and pieces, mostly in the commercials, but never paid to see them in the theaters. Recently, Breaking Dawn part 2, the final installment of the series showed up on Showtime.

Now I know why I never went to see it. Lets start with the acting styles of the cast. I saw a number of different styles. There was Oak, Pine, Maple, Redwood, Birch, and Ceder. In fact, there was an entire forest of acting styles. If you haven’t figured out what I’m saying, allow me to explain. The acting in this film was so wooden the actors, and I use that term very advisedly, would be at risk of death from a swarm of termites.

The cinematography was bloody awful with really to much CGI, Slow motion and closeups. Yes, lets talk about the closeups. On the other hand, lets not! And what the heck was the make up director thinking about? I understand these are supposed to be vampires, and vampires are usually pale. What’s the excuse for the actors who weren’t vampires? Did the production company get a deal on whitewash or something?

And then we come to the big battle sequence. My first question, WHERE WERE THE FANGS??? Vampires have fangs don’t you know, except in the Twilight Saga apparently. The we have the fighting. Hey morons! Haven’t you heard of things like weapons? You know, knives, swords, hammers and bazookas? What is with all this running and jumping around and trying to rip each others heads off? One slash from a sword or a whack from a mallet and POP! That’s it for the opponents. A few flamethrowers wouldn’t have hurt either. Oh wait, that’s right. The big battle was just an illusion of what might happen. It didn’t really occur. To bad. Knocking off most of these twits would have made for a much nicer movie.

Ok, I know that the younger set is all enamored with this version of vampire, but I’m not. I’ll take the blood suckers from True Blood over these losers any day. And the script! Was there one or did they just sort of make it up as the went along? I could have gotten better dialog from the phone book. One written by monkeys!

I’m glad for two things with regards to the Twilight Saga. First, I missed all but one of the movies and second, I have a DVR with fast forward. I practically wore out the fast forward button on my remote. The mute key got a good workout as well. This was the bottom of the barrel. You know what is really sad? All these “Actors” are supposed to be trained professionals. They were horrible. Compare this with the movie “Act of Valor. Most of the actors aren’t actors. They are professional military personnel who stepped into the roles. With very few exceptions, not of them had any acting experience and it showed. When it came to the action scenes though, they were perfect. Why? They were doing what they do every single day. Both films made money. One, Breaking Dawn part 2 because it was the final act in a series that was popular with the “Yoots” of the world and Act of Valor because it hit a patriotic note which people really liked. Now I’m going to find some bleach and pour it into my eyes. Hopefully that will remove the images.

Thatisall

~The Angry Webmaster~

(1 votes, average: -1.00 out of 5)

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