Look! I can fly!!! *Splat!*

Good day all. I don’t know about you, but I’m all politics’d out. Instead I found a story of a man who is going to skydive from 25,000 feet. Why is this a big deal? Simple. When it comes to a parachute, he’s saying “Parachute? I don’t need no stinkin’ parachute!”

Yes, some genius is going to attempt to skydive without a parachute and land…safely. Oh, he WILL land, the only question is, will there be a crater at the spot after he touches down. Here are the details from Fox News:

He’s made 18,000 parachute jumps, helped train some of the world’s most elite skydivers, done some of the stunts for “Ironman 3.” But the plunge Luke Aikins knows he’ll be remembered for is the one he’s making without a parachute. Or a wingsuit.

Or anything, really, other than the clothes he’ll be wearing when he jumps out of an airplane at 25,000 feet this weekend, attempting to become the first person to land safely on the ground in a net.

A net? He’s going to try and land in a net? They should take that net and throw it over him.

The Fox network will broadcast the two-minute jump live at 8 p.m. EDT (5 p.m. PDT) Saturday, (July 30), as part of an hour-long TV special called “Heaven Sent.”

Oh I have to see this!

And, no, you don’t have to tell Aikins it sounds crazy. He knows that. He said as much to his wife after a couple Hollywood guys looking to create the all-time-greatest reality TV stunt floated the idea by him a couple years ago.

And that idea should have kept on floating, right out to sea.

“I said, ‘You won’t believe these guys,'” the affable skydiver recalls with a robust laugh. “‘They want me to jump out without a parachute.’ She said, ‘Oh, with a wingsuit.’ I said, ‘No, they want me to do it with nothing.’ We both had a good laugh about that.”

And then, the really cool drugs must have kicked in.

But in the weeks that followed he couldn’t shake one persistent thought: Could anybody actually do this and live to tell the tale?

I would say, ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME? Needless to say, they have done some testing on this really stupid idea.

Nearby, a pair of huge cranes defines the boundaries where the net in which Aikins expects to land is being erected. It will be about one-third the size of a football field and 20 stories high, providing enough space to cushion his fall, he says, without allowing him to bounce out of it. The landing target, which has been described as similar to a fishing trawler net, has been tested repeatedly using dummies.

And how did that work out?

One of those 200-pound (91-kilogram) dummies didn’t bounce out. It crashed right through.

“That was not a good thing to see,” recalled Jimmy Smith, the veteran Hollywood public relations man who, with his partner Bobby Ware, sold Fox on the idea of having someone skydive without a parachute.

Fox has had little to say about the stunt other than it will be broadcast on a tape delay, as is the case with all its live broadcasts, says network spokesman Les Eisner.

Why? Are you going to cut the feed in case of major blood spatter? Or are you concerned about potential bad language getting through when Aikins realizes he won’t be home for dinner?

It contains a warning not to try this at home.

I don’t think you have to worry to much on that score. Anyone stupid enough to try this at home deserves to be removed from the gene pool. I might just watch this to see if this idiot somehow survives. Jumping from 25,000 feet means he will need an oxygen mask on the way down. What will he do if he starts drifting away from the bulls-eye…impact zone…net? Most likely, die. So, are you going to watch this suicide attempt? I’m sure his life insurance company will and be there to deny any payouts to his survivors. Vote in my poll and let everyone know.

****UPDATE****

I tuned in for a few minutes at the beginning and saw Aikins talking to the host and wearing a parachute. The claim they made was the Screen Actors Guild had forced him to wear it. I switched over to another show since a chute meant that if he drifted to far, he could still avoid cratering…literally.

[youtuber youtube=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdEQmpVIE4A’]

I just read on the Drudge Report that he made the jumped, and as the plane climbed to altitude, he took the chute off, managed to hit the net, and live. I’ll check my DVR later to see how it looked.

He’s still a few bricks shy of a full load though.

****UPDATE 2****

There’s a Youtube video of the lunatic jumping.

[youtuber youtube=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgkhAysnRNY’]zmqWc’]

Thatisall

~The Angry Webmaster~

[yasr_visitor_votes size=”large”]

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