Good day all. Once again we have some criminal masterminds demonstrating their brilliance. In this case, we have two evil geniuses trying to cut their way into an ATM.
Sadly, they made a slight miscalculation in their planning. Here are the details from Fox News:
Two men who tried to use a blow torch to break into an ATM in Florida “bungled the job” when they instead welded the machine’s hinges shut.
The suspects tried to bust the machine open around 3:15 a.m. on The Boardwalk on Okaloosa Island on Friday morning, officials said.
While one of the men was seen holding a crowbar and keeping watch, the other man took a blow torch to the ATM.
But instead of cutting the machine open with the torch, the bumbling would-be thief welded the metal parts shut — and the pair left with nothing.
What a shame. All that careful planning and preparation and they forgot one small detail. Learning how to use a torch to cut their way into the ATM. I learned how to do some basic welding many moons ago in High School. I was never very good at it, but I did know how to actually cut the metal. It isn’t anything like the movies. It’s actually a slow process.
If these to failures had managed to cut their way in, there would have been a good change they would have incinerated the cash instead of scoring enough scratch for their next Crack and Meth binge. They also neglected to obscure the surveillance cameras, and while the images shown are pretty bad, I have little doubt that other cameras picked these two up from other angles
Another little issue with their cunning plan was estimating just how tough those machines actually are. For all intents and purposes, they’re small safes. I recall a group of morons who had a similar idea years ago near where I live. (It was a few towns over) They didn’t bring a blowtorch with them, they brought a backhoe. They physically pulled the ATM out of the ground and dragged it down the road trying to break it open. They also failed miserably.
So once again, Anger Central has nominees for the Stupidest Criminals of the Week. Of course, it’s early yet and we might find other who are even dumber, like the moron who pulled a gun in a gun shop and announced a robbery. The investigators decided it was easier to ask who didn’t fire than count those who did.
Thatisall
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