Hello everyone, this is the well caffeinated Angry Systems Administrator, coming to you from the bowels of the Anger Central Data Center. As anyone who works in the information technology field knows. The Internet runs on coffee.
I know, I know, coffee again. Why not the latest in computer hardware or quantum computing you ask? The answer is simple. Without coffee, none of that will even come into existence. It takes long hours, even days of work with minimal sleep. Outside of the I.T. field, only the United States military truly understands that it takes coffee to crush America’s enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women!
In our case, it’s tracking down a bug that some developer insists is hardware related and never his or her code. Real American men and women have always understood the benefits of coffee and now it looks like Science is finding even more reasons to consume the greatest nonalcoholic beverage ever invented. Here are the details from Fox News:
Researchers from APC Microbiome Ireland found that habitual coffee consumption alters the trillions of microbes living in the digestive tract, creating a chemical feedback loop that directly influences mood, stress levels and cognitive sharpness.
The study followed 62 participants to determine how coffee interacts with the microbiome. The group included 31 coffee drinkers and 31 non-coffee drinkers who went through a series of psychological tests and kept detailed journals about their diet and coffee consumption.
I have located a picture of a group of coffee drinkers and non-coffee drinkers. The differences are subtle, but they can be seen in how the two groups present themselves.
The researchers defined “coffee drinkers” as those consuming three to five cups daily, a range the European Food Safety Authority deems safe and moderate.
After people stopped drinking coffee for two weeks and then started drinking it again, the bacteria in their digestive systems behaved differently than the non-drinkers, according to a press release.
“Coffee is more than just caffeine,” study author John Cryan, principal investigator at APC Microbiome Ireland, said in a statement.
“It’s a complex dietary factor that interacts with our gut microbes, our metabolism and even our emotional well-being.”
According to the report, coffee drinkers were found to have higher levels of beneficial bacteria, such as Eggertella and Cryptobacterium curtum. (Yeah, I did copy that from the story, I don’t know anything about them and I don’t care. Now I need to get another cup of coffee)
These microbes play a vital role in releasing gastric acids and creating bile, both of which help the body eliminate harmful bacteria and manage inflammation, the researchers noted.
Good to know.
Both caffeinated and decaf drinkers reported lower levels of perceived stress, depression and impulsivity. This suggests that the non-caffeine components of coffee, like polyphenols and antioxidants, are doing the heavy lifting for mental health.
First of all, I consider decaf coffee to be a crime against the universe. However, there are those poor unfortunates who can’t consume caffeine and must get their daily coffee fix from the decaffeinated variety. At least they’re getting some benefit.
However, the two types of brew offer different perks. Caffeinated coffee was specifically linked to reduced anxiety and better focus, while decaf was shown to lead to significant improvements in learning and episodic memory.
Researchers believe these cognitive gains in decaf drinkers may be tied to better sleep quality and increased physical activity.
Sleep is for the weak. You can sleep when you’re dead, or elected to the United States Congress. Now there are a few caveats. The study group was small. Still, I think it does show promise and I think the EU should continue to fund the study with an eye to increasing the number of people involved. Perhaps half a million coffee drinkers and a few hundred non-coffee drinkers? In any case, this is just one more reason to continue the consumption of the finest beverage known to many.
Now I do have a little technical news. The raging lunatic who runs this place has feigned to give me a new work station. It isn’t a standard computer. In fact, it’s actually steam powered.
Thank you for your time
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~The Angry Systems Administrator~
