Can’t drive a stick? Don’t steal a car with a standard transmission

Good day all. We have another chapter of “Stupid Criminals in the News!” today. It seems that a couple of idiots thought it would be a great idea to carjack someone’s car. They just ran into one tiny little problem. The car uses a standard transmission and these two geniuses only knew how to drive an automatic.

So, what did these two disgraces to the human race do? They made the owner of the vehicle teach them how to drive a standard transmission. Here are the amusing details from Fox News:

Two Houston teens are facing charges after they carjacked a man last weekend, holding a gun to the victim’s head and forcing him to teach them how to drive the vehicle’s stick shift, Click2Houston.com reported.

“The suspects were unfamiliar with the operation of a standard transmission and they tried to get the victim to show them how to drive the standard while he was being held at gunpoint,” Stefan Happ, an inspector, told the station.

Oh the Stoopid was strong in these two.

The victim explained the stick shift, and the teens took off with the vehicle. The crash course, however, proved insufficient and the suspects were reportedly forced to abandon the car a few blocks away and flee the old-fashion way: by running.

I wonder if these blithering idiots were wearing loafers? Somehow, I don’t think they know how to tie the laces on their own shoes correctly.

They were caught a short time later. “The officers were chasing the vehicle and apparently they had issues operating the vehicle,” Happ told the station.

Gee, ya think? I would wager that if it weren’t for the use of a weapon by the little punks, they might have been able to get away due to the officer collapsing on the ground in hysterics. As it was, since these genetic failures used a weapon, they’re luck they weren’t shot by the police.

The alleged robbers are 17 and 15 years old. The 17 year old was charged with aggravated robbery with a deadly weapon.

I don’t know about the 15 year old. He may be recoverable, but the 17 year old is going to be experiencing the finer points of the Texas penal system. I don’t think either one of them is going to be worrying about learning how to drive a standard any time soon.

Thatisall

~The Angry Webmaster~
(Who can drive both “4 on the floor” and “3 on the tree”)

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