The stupid criminal of the week is…

Robert Collins of Alliance, Ohio!! As you know, every once in a while, we find a criminal that that is so stupid, he or she should be retroactively aborted.

So, just what did this weeks criminal mastermind do to attract the attention of the local constabulary? Megadumb called 911 to complain that his wife had stolen his cocaine. Here are the details from The Smoking Gun:

An Ohio man called 911 to report that his wife had stolen his cocaine, according to cops who subsequently arrested him on drug and other charges.

Robert Collins, 39, dialed the police emergency line late Wednesday night to report the cocaine theft, according to an Alliance Police Department report that does not detail the wherabouts of Collins’s spouse or the cocaine.

I suspect she’s off at some cheap dive of a hotel snorting up a storm. Now as for Bobby the Bonehead, it seems that he was rather reticent in discussing his 911 call with the responding officers.

When officers arrived at Collins’s residence, he apparently had a change of heart and “refused to tell police why he called 911.”

Robert the Retard probably had a moment of lucidity and figured out that saying his wife stole his stash was not the smartest thing to do. Pity it didn’t help him.

Investigators reported that Collins, who “had a pipe used to smoke marijuana in his possession,” was “arrested and charged with misuse of 911 and drug paraphernalia.” He also had an active arrest warrant in connection with a 2013 criminal case.

The police were not amused with his reticence and have dealt with him in an appropriate manner. They busted his dumb ass and hold him off to the hoosegow.

Collins was booked into the Stark County jail on the misdemeanor counts. He is scheduled for arraignment today in Municipal Court in Alliance, a city about 60 miles from Cleveland.

I find it so refreshing when criminals offer to help the police in their inquiries, either by posting pictures of themselves and their ill gotten gains on Facebook or calling 911 and turning themselves in, even if that wasn’t their intent.

Thatisall

~The Angry Webmaster~

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