Good day all. A couple of days ago I listed the Stupid Criminal of the week. That knucklehead managed to get himself eaten by an alligator. I didn’t expect to run into another moron so quickly. This time we have a naked carjacker.
Yes, some idiot tried to steal a FedEx truck wearing absolutely nothing but a smile. Here are the hilarious details from The Smoking Gun:
A naked man who carjacked a Federal Express delivery truck–but then fled the vehicle when he could not figure out how to drive it–has been arrested, according to California police.
[youtuber youtube=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gbp_JQ7RxqM’]
Investigators allege that Albert Luna, 19, got into the truck around 7 PM Saturday as the driver was removing a package from the rear of the vehicle, which was parked in front of a residence in the city of Coachella. Luna demanded the truck’s keys, which were turned over by the driver (who, cops report, “ran to a nearby residence and reported the incident”).
Ok, why did he driver surrender his/her keys? Is this some rule by FedEx? “If a naked man demands the keys, give them to him.” I would think the driver would have some advantages over a naked ninny, like a boot to the groin?
While Luna succeeded in starting the truck, the accused carjacker’s getaway was not smooth. He “did not know how to operate the vehicle and fled the area on foot, abandoning the victim’s vehicle,” according to police.
He didn’t know how to drive the truck? Unless this was a large truck, like a Semi, which has a rather complicated gearbox, I can’t see how this fool could be having a problem. Delivery vans handle just like small pickup trucks. The only thing I can think of is the van was a standard transmission and dimbulb can’t drive a stick. In any case, here’ the description sent out to the police.
Based on information provided by the Fed Ex driver, the suspect was described as “a Hispanic male adult, 18-20 years, thin build, short hair, and not wearing any clothes.”
I can just see the police when they got that call over the radio. In any case, the police got their man.
Luna, a Coachella resident, was arrested Sunday and charged with carjacking. He is being held in the Riverside County jail on the felony count. It is unclear why Luna was naked when he sought to boost the Fed Ex truck. Additionally, it is unknown whether his lack of clothing was a drug-related condition.
Oh I think it would be safe to assume this idiot was higher than a kite when he decided it would be a really neat idea to steal a FedEx truck. I’m sure his new friends will be just fine with him running around naked.
Thatisall
~The Angry Webmaster~
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